


Glorious

by LisaMack



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2020-10-28 15:49:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 92,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20781104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LisaMack/pseuds/LisaMack
Summary: The next chapter in Andie Winston's life. What will it have in store for her?





	1. You will never grow older

You will never grow older

“No! Please? PLEASE! Just let me… please?”

Opie froze mid-motion, so I took that as my cue to turn on the water works. I tilted my chin down so that I was looking up at him through the fringe of my bangs and gave him my best innocent, doe-eyed look. When I saw him take half a step back, I sniffled in a breath and conjured up some crocodile tears.

“Please? I had to miss the last couple of visitations. California Corrections doesn’t care about inmates seeing people unless they’re married or blood related. Please, let me go with you guys.”

“Drea, if it was up to me, you could come. But I’m not President… Hell, I’m not even the VP, so I don’t make the rules. I’m sorry, but it isn’t my decision to make. Please, can I just have it?”

I pulled Happy’s cut out of his reach and tried a new tactic. If tears wouldn’t work, then I would pull out the new argument I had formulated. “But you said the other guys from the garage are driving their bikes out for them to ride home. Why can’t I ride Happy’s bike out to Stockton and then come home in the in the van with the other guys? Please? I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”

“Alright…” Opie conceded as he stood up tall and crossed his arms over his chest.

FUCK. I screwed up. How did I fuck this up? I had been practicing this argument pretty much since the day I learned the guys’ release date. I had this down. I had this… Well I THOUGHT I had it totally figured out.

“Fine. Sure… You can ride his bike up to Stockton.”

I took a step back, hugging Happy’s cut tightly into my chest in a death grip and let my suspicion be heard when I asked, “Why are you agreeing with me? We’ve been arguing for almost an hour, why are you conceding, now?”

“It’s like you said… If you want to ride his bike and be… ONE OF THE GUYS… far be it from me to stop you. But we should get going so we aren’t late. Go grab his keys.”

“NO!” I practically growled out. “Explain your one eighty… please?”

He smiled softly and thankfully didn’t draw out my torment. “You’re more than welcome to ride with us and drive back with the guys. But if you do… well… Drea… You know what that means, right?”

He gave me a second to think it over. Then… when he thought I wasn’t quite getting it, he raised an eyebrow and gave me a shit-eating grin. THAT’S when I FINALLY figured it out.

“It… it means that I’m one of the guys and… not… not his Old Lady.” Opie’s laughter was thankfully muffled by Happy’s cut that I threw over his head. “Fine! Just fucking take it and go!”

“Drea…” Opie started until I turned my angry, tear filled eyes up to glare at him.

“I mean it, Opie. Just go. I don’t need you to make fun of me for being stupid.”

“You’re not stupid… and I’m not making fun…”

“HARRY…”

“DREA! I’m not…” He quickly folded Happy’s cut in half and placed it on the kitchen table. “I swear to you I’m not. You’re trying… and learning… THAT’S what counts.”

“But I’m not learning fast enough. I’m going to fuck this up, especially now that he’s coming home, aren’t I?”

Opie came over and wrapped me in a hug. I hated not being sure of myself or how I should behave. It didn’t take me long after the majority of the club was locked up for me to come to the realization that that was the exact reason why I had stayed away from the club and Charming for so long. I had wanted to be my own person and I knew that wouldn’t happen under the watchful eyes of the members of SAMCRO or (as much as I hated to think it) Gemma.

But then I met Happy. He liked that I was stubborn. He liked that I was outspoken. Hell, he even liked that I was a Tomboy that could pass myself off as one of the guys if I wanted to or I could be so feminine that I could make a Disney Princess look butch. He liked that he could be himself with me and that I would so the same… Even if that man that I would ramble out some random thoughts and talk his ear off sometimes. (But in all honesty, my verbal diarrhea happened less frequently with him. There was something about him being completely at ease in silence that help me to start to find comfort in it as well.)

“No, you aren’t. And before you ask how I know…” He pushed me to arm’s length so that he could look me in the eye while he finished his thought. “It’s because I know you, Drea. You NEVER fail if you put your mind to it.”

“Opie…” I countered weakly with a very audible whine.

“What? You wanted to go to college, so you got yourself a scholarship to one of the best colleges in the country. Then you came back to town and blew everyone out of the water by opening the best damn bar in town. EVERYONE loves your place; cops, civilians, MCs… everyone flocks to the Buffalo Bar for amazing food and great drinks. And it’s the one place everyone behaves because they consider it neutral ground. Running a place like that… especially successfully enough to open your own restaurant… it isn’t easy, but YOU did it. Drea, you did it. So, if you want to make your relationship with Happy work, you’ll be able to do it.”

I couldn’t maintain our steady eye contact as I asked, “But what if he’s changed his mind? What if he doesn’t want me to be his Old Lady anymore?”

Opie rolled his eyes and then turned to pick up Happy’s cut without saying a word. I just stared at him in silence as he started making his way to the front door. Because his gait was twice as long as mine, I had to run to catch up with him as he was about to make his final exit from Happy’s house.

The indignant “OPIE!” I wanted to issue was silenced by him turning to level me with a steely glare. “I am not joining your pity party. If he didn’t want you to be his Old Lady, he wouldn’t have left you the keys to his house. That’s all I’m going to say on that topic. So… ANDREA… it’s up to you now. Either we’ll see you at TM with everyone or we won’t. You have a couple of hours to decide.”

He then turned to leave. At the door he paused just long enough to give me a point look. Fuck… He had me there.

I nodded then turned to walk to the bedroom as I called out over my shoulder, “I’ll see you back at TM.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A lot can chance in nearly a year and a half. People, places, families can all transform or morph into something you don’t recognize. Jax had a new son. SAMCRO had two new Sons. Hell, even Opie had a new son… Well, stepson once Lyla and Piper moved in with him and the kids.

I took the last year to turn myself into a new version of myself. Now that I owned two businesses and was dating an outlaw biker, I felt like it was time for me to update my look. I ended up growing my hair out. It now fell just past my shoulder with bangs that were just shy of reaching my eyebrows. Since I went to a salon and not Floyd’s Barbershop for the updated hairdo, I had also updated the color of my now long mane. For the most part, I kept my natural looking dark brown locks, but the stylist had scattered a healthy amount of vibrant red highlights throughout my head that became more visible depending on how I styled it. Today, I kept it down, but I used a curling iron to add some body in the form of bouncy, oversized ringlet curls. It paired well with the tight black tank top with a faded-out sugar skull on the front and black skinny jeans I was wearing today.

After going to the salon, I had stopped in at Sephora to see if a makeup expert could suggest the best colors for me to wear. That turned into a full-on makeup tutorial, so even my cosmetics routine had been given an upgrade. Okay, not completely. I still kept my makeup to a minimum on the days I worked at TM and when I was at my restaurant. The new, more dramatic look I had learned to perfect was now what I wore when I worked at the bar or the rare occasion what I went out on the town. (If I went out for dinner and drinks, it was usually with Lyla and her coworkers, so I felt like I had to put in a bit more effort than I normally would to keep up with them. What can I say? She was basically my sister in law and a pretty amazing mother to my niece and nephew, so wanted to do everything I could to get along with her.) Today would be the first day that Happy would get to see the new and improved me. At least, I hoped he thought this was an improvement.

Since I didn’t want to wreck my hair and makeup (FUCK! Did I just say that?) I drove my Yukon out to TM. Before leaving the house, I had texted Opie to check on the guys’ ETA, so I had reassurances that I would make it there with time to spare. YAY! Just what I needed, time alone with the Crow Eaters and friends of SAMCRO. BUT! Best of all! (Yes, sarcasm IS fun.) I’d get to spend some angsty, tension filled minutes with Tara… and Gemma. Who wouldn’t want to be at the receiving end of their disdainful glares?

Like I said, a LOT can change in a year and a half. But that’s a story for another day… Or never… We’ll just have to see which one comes first.

So, I sat in my truck until I saw the first motorcycle pull into the driveway. Yes, I know I was being a coward, but I couldn’t find it in me to care. Today was a day of celebration, one to welcome the guys home. I didn’t want to risk anyone or anything happening to dampen that spirt. If that meant that I kept as many bodies between Gemma and Tara and myself as humanly possible, so be it. I could suck up my pride for a day.

The first Son I saw was Opie. He was walking over to Lyla to give her a kiss to say ‘Hello’. When he pulled away from her, he noticed me approaching and let out a low whistle. Lyla frowned but didn’t say anything while she turned to see who had caught Opie’s attentions. Once her eyes landed on me, she smiled and then she too let out her own version of a wolf whistle.

Great. I knew I had to be blushing a nice dark shade of red right now. But I tried to ignore it and smiled through my embarrassment when I heard Opie say, “Wow… Drea… I knew you had it in you, but… WOW.”

Before I could reply, Lyla hugged me saying, “I second your brother’s sentiment. You really have outdone yourself, Andie.”

“Thanks, Lyla,” I replied as I hugged her tightly.

“You’re…”

“Andie?” I heard someone call out over Lyla’s words. “Where our Little Andie?” I gave Lyla another tight squeeze before I let her go to step around her. Clay let out a soft gasp as he took a tentative step forward. “I’m… I’m sorry Andie, but… Is…? Is that really you?”

I felt my cheeks heat up again. GREAT. At this point my face would never go back to being its natural shade again. Fun.

I waved awkwardly as I replied, “Hey… yeah… it’s me. Welcome home, Clay.”

“Hey yourself.” He then pulled me into a hug. “And congratulations to you, Sweetheart. I can’t wait to see your new restaurant.”

“You…?” I pulled back to give him a confuse, somewhat worried look. “You’ve actually heard about it?”

He now looked as confused as I felt as he replied, “Of course I have. Gemma told me all about it the first time she visited after it opened.”

“She did?”

“Of course, she did. You do know that we’re all beyond proud of you and everything you’ve done, right?”

“I… I…”

XXXX MEANWHILE XXXX

Happy hugged a couple of the friends of the club before he finally saw Opie. He then said a quick ‘hello’ to a few people he passed as he made his way to Opie’s side. His Brother was watching Clay while he was talking with one of the Crow Eaters, so Happy wasn’t surprised that it looked like he had startled Opie when he tapped the taller man’s shoulder.

“Andie wasn’t able to make it?” Happy asked Opie once they finally made eye contact.

Opie frowned hen answered, “Of course she did.”

“She…?” Happy looked around and lost his words when he finally found Andie’s truck parked in the lot. “Alright… Then where is she?” Opie simply gestured towards Clay as if that answered the question. Happy turned to face their President, but he still couldn’t see his pixie haired girlfriend, so he said, “Okay, I see Clay, but I don’t see your sister.”

Opie forced himself not to laugh as he commented, “Take a closer look at the woman he’s chatting up.” He then patted Happy on the shoulder with a quiet, “Good luck” before he turned to rejoin the mass of people celebrating the club being whole again.

I watched my twin walk away, chuckling silently so that Happy wouldn’t hear him. What the hell did he find so funny? Shit… Since it was Opie, I was sure it would be one of a thousand reasons and NONE of them would be as funny to me as they were to my brother.

While Clay continued talking, my eyes instinctively found Happy’s wandering gaze. I could feel a relieved smile spread across my face once I saw recognition light up in his eyes. Clay must have noticed the shift in my demeanor because he paused, mid-sentence, to turn and follow my eye-line to see what so engaged. Once his eyes found Happy, he smiled then said, “We can talk later about all of that. Have fun, Sweetheart.”

I think I replied. At least I’m pretty certain I said ‘Thanks’ at the very least, but in all honesty I’m not sure. All of my attention suddenly became laser focused on Happy and no one or nothing in TM’s parking lot seemed to be able to distract me from him.

Without thinking about it. Hell, without even noticing it was happening, I started walking towards Happy. Thankfully, his feet started moving him towards me until suddenly we were close enough to touch. But, for some reason, we didn’t reach out to each other just yet.

“Andie?” He questioned softly as he reached out a hand to brush the hair off my shoulder.

I took instinctively took a step forward so that it would be easier for him to wrap his hand around the back of my neck. “I decided to grow it out.”

“You are so beautiful.”

“Tha—”

The rest of my words were swallowed by the enthusiastic kiss he placed on my lips. His left arm wrapped itself around my torso, just under my armpit so that his hand could press against the spot between my shoulder blades where my tattoo laid to anchor me against his chest. He walked us, with him moving backwards, until he hit the side of my truck. He then released my lips just long enough to flip our positions and press my back into the side of my Yukon. Thankfully, that slight pause gave us a chance to catch our breath.

He smoothed his hands down either side of my head and reverently stated, “You are absolutely beautiful.”

“Thank. I… I know I…”

I quickly lost that train of thought when he very deliberately shook his head. “Doesn’t matter if you keep your hair long or short, you are a goddess.”

“Okay… I think THAT has something to do with you being in an all men’s prison for over a year.”

“Andie…” He cautioned as he crowded into me.

I smiled demurely then said, “I mean… Thank you… That’s very sweet.”

I leaned up to kiss him and quickly relinquished control when I felt his hands tighten their hold in my hair. I swear I even felt him growl against my lips as he deepened our embrace. And I swear I forgot we were in a crowded parking lot because my hands moved without any conscious thought to undo his belt before I deafly moved to undo his fly.

“CHAPEL IN TEN MINUTES!”

We instantly separated and Happy let out a very UNhappy sound. I pet his cheek and tried my best not to laugh as I said, “We’ll pick this up later.”

“Promise?”

“Absolutely. Plus, I should finish getting Opie and Lyla’s present together.” He opened his mouth, so I placed two fingers to his lips to keep him quiet. “I told you, I’ve got this. You go take care of club business and ride safe. I’ll see you back at your place later.”

He kissed the pads of my fingers then took a step back. “Okay… I’ll see you back at home.”


	2. And you will never feel pain

And you will never feel pain

I watched as Happy practically flew through his kitchen door and bee-lined towards his bedroom. I was in the middle of cutting the Rice Krispies’ treats I had made into single serve squares. I thought they would be a good treat for me to add to the kids’ lunches tomorrow but hearing Happy crashing around in his room made me abandon that task to check on him.

When I made it to the doorway of his bedroom, I stood there for a couple of minutes just to watch him. He had opened up the safe he had hidden in the wall of his walk-in closet and had pulled nearly all of the envelopes he had stashed in it earlier today. He had dropped them on his bed and then it looked like he was now just muttering to himself.

The longer I watched him, the more confused I became, so I called out, “Did you lose something?”

He turned his eyes up just long enough to turn a very unimpressed glare in my direction. I held my hands up in surrender then saying, “Woah! Here to help, Mr. Surly!”

That earned me another glare, but this time he said, “You’re not funny.”

I wrapped my arms around his waist, so I was hugging his left side, replying, “Yes, I am. You just don’t have a sense of humor when you’re cranky.”

He grunted out an irritated noise in response to hat comment. I then lifted his left arm and wrapped it around my neck so that I could tuck myself properly into his side. Thankfully, he didn’t resist and pressed me closer into his side. Now I could actually see the bed and everything on it that was frustrating him. Not that that helped me to understand why he was upset at all.

“So…? Seriously? What’s going on, Babe?”

I could almost hear his eye roll at me using that nickname before he answered, “How much is enough?”

“Enough for what? Sorry, I need some context,” I replied with zero humor or teasing in my voice.

He huffed out a breath and hugged me even tighter. “For a wedding present.”

“Ohhhh… That.” I gave him one last squeeze as I kissed his neck before I eased out of him embrace. “You can put that all away. I already told you that I have that covered.”

Happy let out another soft growl. “I can pay my own way.”

“I KNOW!” I almost shouted in my haste to agree with him. I slipped under his arm again so that I could lean up and kiss his lips. “Trust me, I know you can. But… One of the perks to dating the groom’s sister is that she has an ‘in’ with the happy couple. So, I’ve been able to pick their brains to come up with the perfect wedding gift. And don’t you worry…” I kissed him again while I worked at undoing his belt and fly. “You WILL be paying me back… Big time.”

He just stood there with a suspicious look on his face while I worked at undressing him. “Okay. So…? What ARE we giving them?”

I smiled as I dropped down to my knees in front of him. I looked up the length of his now naked body. It felt like it had been decades since I was able to stare at the expanse of his tattooed flesh, not just the year and a half we had been apart. Had he always had that “Filthy Few” tattoo under his right nipple? Fuck, who cared? I had him… here… in my hands. THAT was all that mattered.

I started to stroke him to hardness while I answered, “The first part of their gift is bringing the kids home from the wedding so the newlyweds can spend their first night together in wedded bliss alone… no distractions.”

“Home…? Like…? H-h-here?”

I smirked as I watched all of the muscles in his face go slack under my ministrations. If hat wasn’t enough, his stuttered speech told me that my efforts were working and soon all conversation would cease. It wasn’t that I was avoiding this conversation, I just really wanted to delay it. Nearly a year and a half of celibacy was enough to drive a girl insane and now that I had Happy here and naked, I didn’t want to wait any longer.

“I was hoping here because I’ve offered my apartment to Orlin and his wife while they’re in town for the wedding. But… It’s negotiable.”

He opened his mouth to reply, but the only sound that came out was a strangled moan. After the last syllable passed over my lips, I leaned up on my knees and took as much of him into my mouth as I could manage. My gag reflex hadn’t been tested since before he was locked away, so I didn’t want to do anything stupid like trigger it or choke because I knew what that result would be. Happy would get all protective and then I would be lucky if he would be the least bit rough while we had sex. And you could forget about him letting me have my way with him and pleasuring him orally for the foreseeable future.

After a count of five, I slowly moved my head closer to his body to take him all the way into my mouth. I felt his tip slip into my throat just as my nose grazed against his navel. I stopped there to allow my body to get used to the welcomed invasion once again. Happy was using every of ounce of effort he possessed to hold himself perfectly still to give me a moment to allow my throat to relax around him.

When he felt me take in a breath and exhale it out of my nose, he moved his hands from where they were hanging limply at his sides to my head. When I felt the deliciously painful pinch of him fisting a handful of hair under each of his palms, I tried to let out a contented sigh. Since my mouth was more than a little full, no sound came out, but I could tell Happy had felt it. Somehow his already firm grip got even tighter and he actually let out an aroused moan instead of an excited grunt.

“Andie… Andie…” He called out in a quiet, carefully controlled voice. “Andie… Off…”

I could feel my eyebrows knit together in a confused scowl as I slowly moved my mouth back off his length. His fists clenched and unclenched with every inch that I released. God that felt amazing. I paused when all that remained was his top just on the inside of my lips.

It was almost as if he could read my mind because he gripped my hair so tightly that it was almost no pleasure and all pain. Instead of caressing his tip with my tongue and applying some suction like I had planned, I froze completely.

“Andie,” he growled out as he took a step back. “OFF!”

I remained on my knees and just stared up at him as he liberated himself from my oral prison. Once my mouth was empty, I pouted up at him then asked, “Did I do something wrong?”

He shook his head and placed a hand under each of my elbows. I let him help me to my feet and waited patiently for him to answer. Of course, he didn’t say a fucking word. Instead, he huffed out a laugh when he noticed that I had been trying to work myself out of my jeans while I had him… distracted. He then pulled my tank top over my head and tossed it onto the pile of his clothes. Once he had my bra off, he knelt down in front of me and pulled down and off my jeans and underwear. Once I was as naked as he was, Happy stood up in front of me.

“We need to get ready for the wedding,” he finally said after we stared at each other for a couple of breaths.

“Oh… Okay,” I replied with a confused scowl on my face. “I’ll… I’ll go… umm… I’ll go and get dressed…”

When I took a step to walk around him. Happy quickly caught my arm to halt my steps. Now it was my turn to let out an unhappy noise of protest. He chuckled at my response. Seriously, he fucking laughed, which caused me to snarl.

“Hey… Ease up, Cujo,” he commented, laughter still evident in his voice. I glared at him, so he pulled me into his chest and placed a firm, almost forceful kiss on my lips. “I meant we don’t have time for everything you were planning. Come here, Princess.”

I tried to keep pouting at him, but he just chuckled softly at my attempts. Since my petulance was having no effect on him… Wait, no. That wasn’t accurate. It WAS having an effect… He was working hard at NOT laughing at me. NO… He was working hard at PRETENDING he was TRYING not to laugh.

After I huffed out another angry breath, he finally let out a bark of a laugh. “We have SOME time. But just not for everything.”

I narrowed my eyes at him as I asked, “Meaning?”

“Meaning… we get off together. Then we get dressed for the party.”

“Together…” I echoed ad I sidled up to him and ran my hand over his chest. “So, we can…?”

“Try something new… or stick with the old,” he replied as he picked up my hands and yanked me gently against his chest. “So… Princess…?”

“Take me,” I answered in a breathy voice. “Take me any way you want. I’ve missed you so much. Please… please just take me.”

He didn’t say anything to that. Instead he kissed me and lifted me off the ground. I hugged my arms tightly around his neck so that it would be easier for me to wrap my legs around his waist. I know everyone jokes about guys spending all of their spare time working out when they’re in prison, but nothing could be more true for Happy. He came out even more jacked than when he went into Stockton, so he had no issues picking me up off the floor.

Happy took a couple of steps forward until his knees hit the side of his bed. I expected him to drop me down onto the mattress, but he held me tight while he continued kissing me. I almost didn’t notice him bending at the knees so that he could lower me down to the bed. I started to release my hold on him until I felt him start to pull away. I wanted him to stay plastered to my body so that he could deliver on all the promises his kisses had made. Much to my chagrin, he ultimately pulled away from my lips completely.

I must have made a noise of protest without noticing because he huffed out another laugh before he leaned down to whisper, “You won’t be disappointed, Princess.”

I moved my hands to his cheeks to pull his face down to kiss him. I let him move back enough so that we could make eye contact. I then pet his left cheek as I reverently said, “I know… But please don’t make me wait too long. I’ve missed you so much it hurts.”

“I would never be that cruel,” he replied with a soft smile.

I relaxed in my spot thinking he would blanket my body again to make love to me. Instead he once again moved off my body completely. I almost called out to him to ask him what he was doing, but I was silenced by him parting my legs by placing his knees under my knees so that he could kneel between them. He didn’t have to say anything for me to catch on to what he was doing and shifted my body so that he could more easily position himself between my legs.

He smiled down at me as he draped my legs over his arms. He then pulled my body towards him as he thrust himself forward. If I had of been able to take in a full breath, I would have screamed out in ecstasy. Since he had neighbors close by, Happy was always careful to make sure I wouldn’t cry out too loudly because he knew I would more than likely sound like a woman being tormented in an unpleasant way than anything else.

After he had established his pace, he let go of my legs so that he could drop his palms down on either side of my head. I quickly moved my legs from around his waist to wrap them around his thighs. He smiled down at me just as his pace picked up until it could be described as ‘punishing’. My hands moved up to his upper arms in an attempt to anchor myself to try to move with him. But that wasn’t possible because he had already worked me up to the most spectacular orgasm I have ever experienced. I tried to scream, but I couldn’t fill my lungs with enough air to do that. He huffed out a sound that probably would have been a laugh if he wasn’t falling over the edge of bliss with me.

When I opened my eyes, he was still holding himself up in a modified pushup, smiling down at me. I raised my right hand and just pet his cheek. I don’t know what I wanted to say, but that point was rendered moot by him leaning down to kiss me. While we kissed, he rolled us over, so we were on our sides when we finally pulled away from each other.

I pecked his lips again then said, “I wish we could just stay in bed and do that all day.”

“Okay,” he replied as he moved to forward to kiss me.

I placed my hand on the center of his chest to give him a soft shove. “HAPPY! You’re supposed to tell me that we CAN’T do that!”

“Am I now?” He questioned with a single raised eyebrow.

“Yes, you are,” I replied with a cheeky grin. I leaned in to quickly kiss his lips then rolled off the bed. He watched as I sauntered over to the door and plucked my robe from the hook on the back of it. “You, Prince Charming, are supposed to be the voice of reason in this relationship.”

“Is that so, Princess?” He countered as he slithered out of the bed.

I watched as he walked… No, stalked towards me. It amazed me how he was able to look like a predator stalking his prey and yet he still made me feel completely safe when he did it. I knew his reputation and the fear he could strike into the heart of the most hardened biker, but he was never like that with me. Whenever he was about to flip into full serial killer mode, he always managed to dial it back just enough to excite me without scaring the absolute shit out of me.

“That IS so. Which means you should be offering to wash my back for me so we can get ready that much faster.”

A soft growl passed over his lips as he closed the distance between us. I tried to open the door to slip out and prolong this cat and mouse game, but he was too fast. Just as I placed my hand on the knob, Happy wrapped his hands around my waist to throw me over his shoulder. I immediately dropped my robe to grab onto his… SHIT… he was naked, so I could grab onto anything to anchor myself. Instead, I just shrieked out in laughter and wrapped my arms around his torso as he carried me to the bathroom.


	3. Or fill the room with laughter like you used to

Or Fill The Room With Laughter Like You Used To 

“That doesn’t look like a dress, Princess.” 

I finished pushing in the last bobby pin in to keep my hair up in a French Twist. I had pulled out a couple of strategic chunks to curl, but the updo had taken longer than I thought it would. But no matter how long it took, my hair and makeup were done and I had my cosmetics packed to do touch ups once I was out at the Wahiawa Reservation because I knew I wouldn’t just be there as a guest. 

I double checked that all my hair was in place before I turned around and answered, “My... You are an observant one, Prince Charming.” 

He gave me an unimpressed look, but opted not to say anything. I knew he wasn’t a fan of my sarcasm, but it was my go-to, so he had learned to live with it. Well, I guess he was going to have to relearn how to live with it now. 

“And you aren’t wrong, Grumpy,” I added in a more earnest tone. “I figured that I won’t just be there as ‘Sister of the Groom’ and will be helping with set up and all that because I own the company that’s catering. Plus, when he... uh... that is to say... When Opie and Donna got married, I was running around heling with so much shit that I ruined my dress, so mine’s safe in a garment bag because Lyla isn’t short enough for me to hide my dress behind in the wedding photos.” 

“Oh... Princess, I’m...” 

“Shh...” I interrupted before he could finish that thought as I pressed two fingers against his lips. I pressed a ghost of a kiss across his lips so that I wouldn’t transfer my wine-red lipstick to his lips. “It’s fine. But... thinking of his last wedding has dredged up a few things I should warn you about.” 

“Warn me? It’s a party, not a wake, right?” 

I bit my lip so that I wouldn’t laugh as I rocked my head from side to side. “It should just be a party, but that doesn’t really happen if you’re the sister of the groom and... well... I like you so I wanted to prepare you...” 

“Prepare me for what?” 

“Well... last time... after everyone had a few too many drinks, they wouldn’t stop pestering me about when I was finally going to get hitched. Back then I was heading back to school, so it was easy for me to dodge their questions...” 

“Oh... I think I get the picture.” I bit my lip again causing him to cringe while he asked, “What am I missing?” 

“No one has ever known about the guy I’m seeing... like ever. This will be the first time that I’ll be at a club party with everyone knowing the identity of the guy I’m dating... and him being there...” 

“Okay...” 

_Great! I have to fucking spell it out_. “Well... it’s going... It might be even harder to dodge the marriage question. And given our ages, everyone will probably be harping on the topic of when we’re going to start having kids...” 

“KIDS?!” 

“HAPPY! HAP! Shh.... Shh... I’m not saying I want that. God, we’re still relearning about each other and aren’t at the point of talking about any of that yet. I’m just saying that OTHER people will have expectations and if you don’t want to deal with that shit, I’m okay with fielding those questions by myself, that’s all.” 

“It’s none of their fucking business.” 

“I know, but...” 

“No,” he cut in. “That’s what we tell them. Our relationship is none of their fucking business.” 

“I agree, but... you can get away with saying shit like that, but I can’t, Grumpy.” 

“Sure, you can,” he replied as he pulled on his cut. “Just tell them you’re my Princess then give them the cold shoulder like the Ice Queen we all know you can be.” 

“HAPPY!” I cried out as he claimed my garment bag from e so that he could pulled me against him and give him a deep kiss. When he leaned back, I noticed the red lipstick that had smeared across his face. That made me sound a lot less severe when I reached out to swipe my thumb over the wayward lipstick. “Happy...” 

“I know you aren’t an Ice Queen. I’m just saying you COULD play that up. But we should decide on a line to give everyone.” 

“It’s none of their fucking business.” 

He gave me a sourpuss look replying, “I know, but...” 

“No, that’s our united front. Tonight, is about Opie and Lyle declaring their love with a side of celebrating you guys getting out of prison. That’s it and if anyone wants to make anything more out of it...” 

“They can go fuck themselves.” 

I smile and tried not to laugh as I replied, “Exactly.” 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

Just as I had predicted, I had some running around to do was I got out the Reservation. Cody accused me of being too much of a perfectionist... Okay, he called me a controlling, psycho bitch, but this was the first party the Buffalo Bar & Grill was catering so I wanted everything to be perfect. Plus, it was my brother’s wedding. That added some pressure too. (Elliott pulled out of the fundraising gala after the fiasco with Jacob supposedly saving Tara and himself from Salazar, so this really was Cody’s premiere as a party planner.) 

Once I was assured everything was in place and, more importantly, that Cody had everything well in hand, I finally changed into my dress. Cody even helped me to tighten the corset styled bodice my cocktail length dress so that I could head to the receiving line sooner. The skirt of the dress was a flowing ruby red that almost matched the red streaks in my hair. The bodice was a corset style that was predominantly the same red as the skirt with ink black laces along with black and ivory accents. Cody made sure to tighten it ‘just so’ in order to accentuate my ‘feminine assets’. (His words not mine.) I was smart enough to bring a pair of cute flats with me this time around so I could move more easily, especially since we were out in the woods. 

The flats plus the cocktail length of my dress made it much easier to sprint to Opie’s side to greet everyone as they arrived. Somehow, I managed to make it there just as the first guests were arriving, so I didn’t look too neglectful. 

Marcus Alvarez from the Mayans’ MC reached the receiving line first. He picked up my hand and kissed the knuckles of my right hand saying, “I was wondering when the best-looking Winston would make an appearance.” 

And THAT was why you will NEVER see me put on blush. As my cheeks heated up under a dark blush, I replied, “Sorry to keep you waiting. I had to make sure they only packed the good tequila for the festivities.” 

He smiled and winked replying, “You’re a good woman, Andie.” 

After he and his Brothers were through, I rushed over to Dad’s side and kissed his cheek. When I noticed the red lip marks I left behind, I quickly apologized and used my thumb to try to erase it. Of course, that coincided with Putlova and his crew approaching, I quietly apologized again and moved to his side to greet the newcomers. 

Much like Marcus Alvarez, Viktor Putlova pulled my right hand to his lips to kiss the back of it. “Your brother is very lucky to have a loving family to support him today.” 

After he released my hand, I wrapped my arm around my dad’s waist to tuck myself into his side. “There’s no other place we’d rather be. Thank you for joining us tonight.” 

Dad’s arm tightened to an almost uncomfortable degree around my waist so, I left my comments to that short, polite greeting. I had heard about the Russians role int trying to help Jimmy O escape to Canada and how the pass off to SAMCRO turned into Jax being shived in Stockton. Of course, I had to infer a lot of information because Opie didn’t want to fully come clean with me for fear that it would upset the balance Dad and I had achieved. 

What can I say? A lot can change in almost a year and a half. One of those changes, thankfully, was my dad getting over his old prejudices. Since I was living in Happy’s house and still tried to give whatever time I could to TM to help out while the guys were in Stockton, he finally realized that I was being completely honest about becoming a more active figure in the club, especially as an Old Lady. 

But the real story of how we got back to me hugging him and sticking by his side until he walked the bride down the aisle at my twin brother’s wedding can wait. Today was Opie’s day and I wanted to make sure it went off without a hitch. 

After all of the guests had made it through the entrance, I fell into step between Dad and Opie. I can’t tell you how amazing it felt to be walking with their arms around me, especially today. There had been some concerns about me not being in the weeding party, but I tried to squash them as quickly as possible. Jax was Opie’s best friend, he was like a brother to us, so it made sense for him to be at Opie’s side. At first my twin wanted me to stand beside Lyla, but that didn’t feel right to me. Don’t get me wrong, I like Lyla. She’s a great Mom but we just... we haven’t really bonded. I don’t know what happened while the guys were in Ireland, but it caused some serious boding between her and Tara. So, I told Opie that they should limit their wedding party to his best friend and his Old Lady. He tried to argue but it didn’t take much to get him to concede to his big sister’s logic. One of these days it wouldn’t take me that much effort to get him to believe me. 

Opie and I broke away from Dad so that he could make his way to Lyla’s ‘staging area’. I kept an arm around Opie’s waist as long as I could, but our height difference and the uneven terrain made that more than difficult. Fuck, it made it almost impossible, so we separated. 

One we detached, he moved towards Jax and a visiting group of Sons. I, in turn, moved towards Happy and the mass of SAMCRO members milling about. 

After placing a kiss deep enough on Happy’s lips to transfer nearly all of my lipstick onto his mouth and face, I released Happy’s lips and just smiled. That almost turned into an all-out laugh when I watched him rub his right forearm over his lower face to remove the traces of my embrace. 

The first voice I hear to tease him was Juice’s. I feel like a dick now because I don’t even remember what he said exactly. But I DO know I turned with a hand on my hip and retorted, “And you’re one to talk? Fuck, if I didn’t grow my hair out, WE’D have the same haircut. So, what do you have to say about THAT Juicy?” 

“That you look radiant tonight in that dress AND your new hair color is absolutely stunning.” 

I glared at him then took the ten steps I needed to be at his side. As I made my way towards him, I wasn’t sure if I was going to punch, kiss or hug him. Lucky for him, I went for the hug. 

As I held him, I quietly said into his ear, “Thank you for not having a stupid haircut for my brother’s wedding pictures.” 

He let out a cross between a gasp of surprise and a noise of aggravation as he squeezed his arms around my waist to lift me off the ground. Before he could utter a retort, I called out over my shoulder with a playful shriek, “HAPPY!” 

He appeared behind me and leveled Juice with a deathly glare. “You should put her down.” 

Once I was back on my feet, Juice started muttering out some apologies, so I grabbed his arm to stop him before he tripped over his own feet. Once he was upright, I kissed his knuckles while Happy pulled me into his side. 

Happy kissed my temple then looked over at Juice saying, “You’re right, Princess. That WAS a lot of fun.” 

I leaned up to kiss him. (Fuck it. By now I would only be putting on lipstick when we did the wedding photos.) “I told you so, Grumpy.” 

I then left him to bullshit with the guys from SAMCRO while I went to check on the kids. Ellie and I had been talking to each other on a daily basis, either on the phone or in person, because she was at that strange stage in lie where she would be rebelling against the rules that her mother had put in place. Except Donna wasn’t alive to be the object of her ire. I could relate to that because my own mother had pulled away from Opie and I when he had started to dive deeper into the club when we were in high school. She had though (for some insane reason) that it meant that I too was getting more intimately involved in SAMCRO’s affairs. She had no idea that I would use her disinterest and Dad’s aloofness to try to make my escape from Charming. 

But in that same vein, I’m not sure that she knows that I eventually fell back into the ‘Charmin Vortex’. No matter how hard you think you’re fighting it, you always end up back here. 

“Hey Sweets,” I greeted Ellie as I hugged her. “How are you holding up?” 

She hugged me back replying, “Pretty good. Dad said that we get to have champagne during the toasts!” 

“He did, did he?” I replied as I stepped back to look her in the eye. 

She had the same tells as her dad, so all I had to do was watch her when she spoke to look for them. When she reached out to pull her brother into the conversation, I really started to worry. If they both worked at giving me ‘puppy dog’ dyes, they could tell me anything, like Oprah was our sitting President, and I would believe them. 

“Tell her Kenny,” Ellie instructed her brother. 

As he looked between her and I, his eyes went wide. I almost gave him an out before he asked, “Tell her what?” 

“Tell her what Dad and Lyla said to us yesterday.” 

“You mean that stuff about us having some champagne with the toasts?” 

Ellie didn’t reply to her brother. Instead, she turned her attention to me and raised a defiant eyebrow. Holy shit! That was MY move. Fuck! Had she learned that from me? Or was it genetic? If I was a biologist, I would have loved to investigate that further. But I wasn’t, so fuck it. The little shit had learned how to be petulant... Woo hoo... She was officially a Winston. 

“Alright, I believe you. But not too much. I’m not holding anyone’s hair back if they have to visit the throne and pray to the porcelain gods.” 

Kenny and Ellie both gave me a truly confused look to which I barked out a laugh. No, it was more than one laugh that came out before I added, “If you drink too much alcohol and you aren’t used to it, it can make you sick to your stomach. If you end up barfing in the toilet all night, you are on your own.” 

“EW!” They replied in unison as they shared a disgusted look. Ellie then turned to me and said, “It’ll be apple cider for us.” 

Before I could tease them more, we heard the music for the wedding procession start. The kids quickly found their seats while I rushed across the aisle to the one that I had saved at Gemma’s right side. Normally, I would have sat beside Dad, but this way I could be closer to Happy. Granted I wasn’t sure exactly where our relationship was headed or how I felt beyond feeling comfortable with a roof over my head with a man that could satisfy my needs (if you know what I mean). But it still felt right to be closer to him. 

The ceremony was beyond beautiful. It even included a Wahiawa blessing that brought me to tears. It truly was that profound. But before I could fall into an overly introspective, melancholy mood, I heard every member of every chapter of SOA call out: I VOW TO TREAT YOU AS GOOD AS MY LEATHER AND RIDE YOU AS MUCH AS MY HARLEY. That’s when I felt Happy squeeze one of my shoulders in what I would describe as a reassuring gesture. 

I place my hand over her thinking, Maybe he DOES want something more than some really great sex after leaving prison. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

Once the band was in full swing, Dad made his way over to the table where Happy and I were seated. Happy had made sure to get us a plate of food and was currently trying to pressure me into eating. I had been so nervous and busy at his house that I had skipped breakfast and most of my lunch. He kept pointing out that I would be driving home three precious souls and therefore should be as alert as possible for that drive. 

Fucker. He knew what buttons to push. That’s why I was glaring at him while I bit my finger sandwich in half. That was also when Dad lumbered up to my side. 

“Short Stack?” He questioned cautiously. 

I quickly chewed and swallowed the food in my mouth before I answered, “Yes Daddy?” 

He held out a hand then said, “May I have this dance?” 

“Daddy?” I replied with a confused scowl on my face. “This song really isn’t one we can dance to.” 

“True,” he agreed as he picked up my right hand. “But the next song will be more to your liking...” I narrowed my eyes at him causing him to laugh. “Come on, Short Stack. They learned it just for us.” 

That’s when I heard the chords of Dolly Parton’s ‘I will always love you’ being played. I stared at my dad for a couple of blinks before I stood up. 

He then wrapped his right arm around my left elbow to lead me to the dance floor. After we started swaying together to the music, I quietly said, “I thought the Father/Daughter dance was for the bride and her dad.” 

“That’s true,” he replied with a tight squeeze. “So? How long until that happens for us?” 

“How long...? What are you talking about?” 

“Don’t deflect, Short Stack. How long until I walk you down the aisle?” 

“Daddy...” After a quick hug, I pushed back so that I could look him in the eye. “Daddy, we need a bit of time to fall in love first.” 

“To fall... but you live together.” 

“No,” I gently corrected. “Up until today, I was living in his house.” 

“But you... you’ve...” 

“Yes, I have. I mean, I’ve done what I can to make it my home... So... now we need time to make it OUR home.” 

“I can understand that.” 

I then placed my head against Dad’s shoulder as we continued to dance. Would we ever have the spotlight on us while I wore a wedding dress and we danced to a song like this? That honestly was a question that I wasn’t ready to answer. That was mostly because I wasn’t sure that Dad or Opie were ready to hear and understand the response I knew that I would give them. 

Tonight, I instead just said, “I love you, Daddy.” 


	4. And I won't hear you speaking

And I Won’t Hear You Speaking

****FLASHBACK****

“Andrea?” I heard from above me as someone knocked on the hood of my truck. Okay, not ‘someone’. I heard Piney call out as he knocked on my truck.

I quickly finished tightening the oil drum before I pushed my creeper out from under my Yukon. Piney wasn’t standing where I could see him, so I picked up a rag and started to wipe off my hands as I stood up. Gemma had told me that she wasn’t expecting anyone from the MC to be at the garage today, so I had offered to help out and asked if I could do my own oil change. I guess plans changed for the guys. Great.

Before turning around to look at him, I took in a deep breath and said, “Gemma told me it would be okay for me to do my own oil change. So... If you want to yell at someone, yell at her.”

“Yell...?” He questioned, taking a step towards me. He paused mid-step when he saw me take a large step back and away from him. “Andie, I’m not here to yell at you about that.”

“Okay. What DO you want to yell at me about then?”

“What? Nothing!” He huffed out a breath then added, “I’m not here to yell about anything. Jesus Christ, can’t a father just talk to his daughter? Is that not allowed?”

“It’s more than allowed. But in my  experience, you don’t ever want to ‘just talk’ with me anymore, Piney.”

He hung his head for a second then looked up at me and smirked, “When I get the third degree for just saying your name, can you blame me?”

_ Yes. Yes, I CAN blame you... for a lot of things. _ I continued cleaning the oil and grease off my hands and kept my eye on that task while I answered, “Did you need me for something? Because I wanted to get the work done on my truck before I take a lunch break.”

The smile disappeared from  Piney’s face when I ignored his teasing comment. “I... I was... I was going to invite you out for lunch.”

“But now you aren’t?”

“No. That... that isn’t what I meant.”

I finally turned my eyes up to his face to give him an exasperated look. “Okay. What DID you mean?”

“I meant... Goddammit...” He took in a deep breath and looked like he was trying to calm himself down. “Andie, do you want to go out for lunch with me or not?”

“Not,” I replied in a calm voice without a second of hesitation. “Is that all?”

He shook his head, turned his back on me and looked like he was going to walk away. I guess that was the end of that conversation. I remained in my spot, waiting for him to step away because he was blocking my path to get into the driver’s seat of my truck. I really didn’t have much else work to do on my Yukon, but he didn’t need to know that.

But he didn’t walk away. Instead he turned back around and said in what I could only describe as a dejected tone, “So much for not giving us the cold shoulder.”

That comment caused me to deflate in my spot. Well, it wasn’t so much his words that affected me, it was his tone. “I’m not giving you the cold shoulder.”

“You’re not? Well, you definitely had me fooled?”

I huffed out a laugh and shook my head. “If I was doing that, I would still be under my truck pretending that I didn’t hear you at all.”

“Is that what the difference is?”

“To name one.  So, was there something else you wanted to talk about?”

He opened his mouth to answer but quickly closed it and shook his head. “No. Not right now.”

“Okay. So...? Can I get back to work or...?”

“What? Oh... yeah... Yes, of course. I’ll get out of your way.”

I watched as he walked out of the garage and let out a heavy sigh. The next time Gemma called to ask to help out here, I had to remember to say no. It was just too damn awkward being here with things being so weird between Piney and me. Plus, the renovations on my new restaurant were well under way, so I really should be focusing on that right now. Yeah, that was an excuse I’m sure Gemma would believe.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I slipped out from under the car I had been helping Doc with and froze in my spot. As soon as I was clear of the bumper, the first thing I saw was Piney. He was standing at the nose of the car with a bottle of beer in each hand. 

“The guys have packed it in for the day...”

I looked up at the clock behind him. When the time registered in my brain, I know I gaped at it for a couple of seconds. “Shit. I didn’t realize it had gotten so late. Why didn’t Doc stop me?”

“He said you were in the zone and didn’t want to bother you.”

He then moved to pass me one of the beers, but I shook my head. Before he could take my response the wrong way, I quickly explained, “Let me wash my hands first. I’m more likely to drop it then drink it with this much grease on my hands.”

“Oh... Right... Of course. I wasn’t thinking.”

I kept one eye on him while I washed my hands. He looked really uncomfortable and antsy, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Shit, that had to mean that giving me one of the beers to drink wasn’t the only thing on his agenda.

“I could meet you at the picnic table, if you want.”

He gave that suggestion a moment of thought before nodded then answered, “Alright. I’ll meet you out there.”

After I gave my hands a thorough cleaning (I even pulled out a nail brush to make sure I had eliminated every minute trace of grease that could possibly be on my skin) before I walked out towards the clubhouse. As I made my way across the parking lot, I gave my truck more than one long, lingering look. Trust me, it took a lot of effort for me not to just divert my course to my truck to drive away and never look back.

When I reached his side, Piney passed me the beer. I took it with a quiet ‘Thank You’ as I sat down opposite him. For a couple of very uncomfortable minutes, we sat in silence while he watched me drink out of the bottle. Great. This was super fun. I should come out and do this more often.

“So... it looks like work has started on the building next to your bar...”

I nodded but didn’t say anything because it didn’t sound like he was finished that thought. But when he made no moves to  continue, I answered, “Yeah, it has.”

“And I heard a rumor you bought the place?”

Since he phrased it as a question, I answered, “Yeah, I did.”

“To open a restaurant?”

“Yep.”

He let out a self-deprecating laugh before saying, “Any chance I’ll be able to get more than a  three-word phrase out of you?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say. Yes, I bought the building next to my bar to open a restaurant. Renovations have started and they should be finished ahead of schedule. Is that more to your liking, Piney?”

“It would be even better if you called me ‘Dad’, but yes. Thank you.” I tried not to but I ended up rolling my eyes at that comment. He choked out a laugh then asked, “What was that for?”

“What was what for?”

“Andrea. Why are you rolling your eyes at me?”

“Because we’ll get into a screaming match if I say what I really thinking.”

“We will, will we?” He huffed out another laugh. “We’ve been civil so far, so why don’t we push our luck and you tell me what you’re really thinking?”

“I’d rather not.”

“Please, Short Stack? I promise not to yell.”

I felt my eyebrows knit into a scowl while I contemplated what to do. Well, might as well go for broke. If he broke his promise then it would just give me another excuse... reason... Another REASON for me to avoid coming to TM in the future.

“Fine. But I tried to keep it neutral. What I was thinking is... I... I would call you ‘Dad’ if you actually acted like one to me every once in a while.”

I could feel myself unconsciously recoil from the table because I was anticipating the worst. But Piney surprised me. He didn’t yell. He didn’t lash out. Hell, he didn’t move at all for a couple of minutes. Then he moved his hand to pick up his untouched bottle of beer sitting in front of him. I started to move my position on the bench so that it would be easier for me to duck and cover if he decided to throw that bottle at me.

But all he did was take a sip from it. After swallowing the  liquid, he nodded then said, “You might have a point there.”

“Pardon me?” He hadn’t just said that, had he? The was no way he was actually agreeing with me, right?

“I said, you’re right.” He smiled softly then reached across the table to hold my hand. “I haven’t been much of a father to you, especially over these last couple of months. I’m sorry for that, Short Stack. I should have been better  to you .”

I didn’t really know what to say to that. But thankfully I didn’t have to figure out what to say in reply because he continued, “Not that it’s an excuse, but I never really knew how to be a father to you. Hell, I barely knew what I was doing with your brother, but boys I can deal with... I know how to knock some sense into them and how to make them man up. But a little girl...?”

He let that thought fade out with a shake of his head. I couldn’t help but to laugh because his insane logic actually made sense to me.

“I told you a long time ago, I'm  low maintenance. You didn’t... don’t need to do much,” I replied in a quiet, meek tone that I didn’t recognize.

“Except...? Come on, I know there has to be more to that thought.”

“There is,” I conceded. “You don’t have to do much except... listen when I come to you. You don’t always have to say anything or solve my problems. Sometimes, I just need my dah... a shoulder to cry on. If I need more than that, I’ll make sure to let you know.”

“Alright. So? How do we get back to a place where my little girl will call on me to be a shoulder to cry on or a sympathetic ear?”

I stared at him and tried to read his expression. But just like always, he remained a complete mystery to me. Then again, from what he was saying, I was a complete enigma to him too. So, how do we get it so that we were both on the same page?

“Do you really mean that? I mean... Is that what you really want?”

“Yes, Short Stack, it is. I hate that I haven’t been a part of your life. I hate that I had to hear from your brother that you’re expanding your brand.”

I smiled sadly then said, “And how long...?”

“Don’t,” he interrupted in an anguished tone. “Please don’t finish that thought. I mean what I’m saying, Andrea Griffin. I don’t want us to continue on like we have... not if I can help it.”

“Me too. But... But I have to ask... Are you dying? How love did they give you to live?”

“ Andrea ...”

“What? I being completely serious. You really are kind of freaking me out right now, Daddy. You’ve never... We’ve never talked like this before and it’s weirding me out. Sorry.”

He squeezed my hand that he was still holding. “I can appreciate that. But no, I’m not dying... At least not any faster than the last time we talked.”

“That... That isn’t funny,” I somehow managed to get out around a sob that escaped through the words.

“I know...” He stood up to walk over to my side to give me a hug. “But the truth rarely is.”

“And people wonder why my sense of humor is so fucked up.”

Dad hugged me a bit tighter and kissed the top of my head. “I love you so much, Andie. I’m sorry I keep pushing you away.”

“I love you too, Daddy. I swear I don’t... don’t...” That’s when the tears started spilling down my cheeks. “I don’t try to piss you off and... and I don’t... I don’t try to push you... you away either.”

He kissed my head again then said, “You can't help but to give into your DNA. I’ve never had to question if you were a chip off this old block or not.”

I laughed through my tears then replied, “I’ve never really thought of it that way.”

“I know you haven’t. But it’s the truth.”

When he started to release me from his embrace, I quickly gripped his wrist tightly. I know he must have been scowling at me in confusion, but I didn’t acknowledge it. Instead, I slid over on the bench and tugged on his arm until he sat down beside me.

I knew his range of motion would be limited, so I threw my right left over the bench so that I was straddling it. He shifted slightly so that we could see each other’s faces more easily. Tears were still spilling down my cheeks even though I was slowing my breathing and trying to get them to stop. He reached out his left hand and massaged away some of the moisture with the palm of his hand.

“So... Why don’t you tell me about your new restaurant, Short Stack?”

I smiled through my tears as I caught his hand to pull it away from my face. I kissed his fingers to ease his mind and let him know I wasn’t pulling away from him. I kept holding his hand in my lap as I asked, (and counted off each word with the fingers of my left hand) “What would you like to know, Daddy?” I held up two fingers adding, “There. Seven words.”

“Andrea...”

“Okay... Okay... Sorry. But really... I don’t know where to start, so please tell me what you want to know.”

He gave me a disapproving, suspicious look but none of that was evident in his voice when he replied, “What are you going to name your new place? Or... Have you decided on a name?”

Those questions made me smile brightly. His uncertain tone coaxed another laugh out of me. He definitely was trying. “Actually, the name has been the easiest part of the process. Irt’s going to be ‘The Buffalo Grill’. That way people can say they’re going to ‘The Buffalo Bar & Grill’.”

“Clever.”

“I try...”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Opie turned off the headlights of the tow truck when he noticed Andie’s truck and his dad’s motorcycle were still parked at TM. Why  were both of their vehicles the only ones still left this late in the day? More than that, why was Andie here at TM? She had so much on her plate, why was adding helping out at the garage to her pile?

“Do you think we should go over there and separate them?” Kozik asked as he pointed to the two shadowy figures seated at the picnic table.

Opie didn’t answer him and just watched the duo for a bit. Suddenly it looked like Andie gave Piney what looked like a forceful shove. They were too far away to hear anything, so Opie and Kozik could only base their reactions on what they were seeing.

Kozik immediately moved to open his door, but Opie’s right hand shot out to catch the other man’s forearm to keep him in his seat.

Before Kozik could snap out his question of what his Brother was doing, Opie said, “Just watch.”

Andie pushed against  Piney’s side ang, but this time her laughter echoed through the still night air. She was so animated that she even threw her head back in laughter. Piney didn’t look impressed by that reaction, but that didn’t stop him from helping her to stand up off the bench. She ghosted a kiss over her dad’s cheek before she sprinted towards the clubhouse door. 

Opie chuckled quietly to himself because he recognized that move. It felt good to know that some things don’t change. The fact that he was noticing that trait in his twin sister really warmed his heart.

Kozik once again reached out to open his door saying, “Okay, so they aren’t fighting and that means...”

“Wait,” Opie commanded in a firm tone.

Kozik huffed out an unimpressed noise but didn’t voice any other protests. He also didn’t see the triumphant smile that spread across Opie’s face at hearing that noise of concession. Opie really just wanted to see if this was going to play out how he envisioned it.

Thankfully, Andie didn’t disappoint. She came out of the clubhouse with the necks of two beer bottles in one hand and a glass of what he could only assume was tequila in the other. She put the glass down in front of their dad and reclaimed her seat on the bench beside him.

When Andie raised a bottle for Piney to tap his glass against, Opie finally said, “Let’s just give them a couple more minutes.”

****END FLASHBACK****


	5. Or others call your name

Or Others Call Your Name

Ellie came into the kitchen and found me as I was transferring some bacon from a baking sheet to a serving plate. She was still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she asked, “What smells so good?”

“Coffee and bacon,” I answered with a chuckle. “Did you want a cup?”

She dropped her hands to her sides and gave me wide eyes. “I’m not allowed to drink coffee, Auntie Andie! Dad says it’ll stunt my growth.”

“Your dad’s full of it. He just doesn’t want you to taste the swamp water he tries to pass off as coffee. But that’s fine. What’s your poison? Orange or apple juice?”

“Orange, please.”

“One OJ coming up. Did you notice if the boys are up yet?”

“Yeah, they’re watching TV. I can go get them for you.”

“Please do, Sweets. But before you go, what do you want for breakfast? Eggs, toast and bacon or French Toast and bacon?”

“Scrambled eggs, please,” she answered as she left the kitchen.

I poured her juice then left the carton on the table for the boys to choose from. When they got to the kitchen, I was starting to plate Ellie’s meal for her. As the boys sat down, she poured their drinks for them and then put the juices back in the fridge.

“Thanks for the help, Sweets,” I said as I put her plate down in front of her.

She blushed and very weekly replied, “You’re welcome.”

“Good morning, boys. What can I get you?”

“Good morning, Auntie Andie. French Toast, please.”

“French Toast got it. And Piper? What about you?” He gave me a look that I couldn’t quite decipher. He looked overwhelmed and almost a little scared, so I knelt down beside him to ask, “Sweetie? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I... uhh... I mean... yes, Aunt... Umm...”

“Oh... that... Piper, Sweetie, you can just call me Andie. You don’t have to call me Auntie unless you want or feel like it. Hell... you can just call me ‘Hey You’ if you want. Okay?”

He smiled a bit more easily answering, “Okay.”

“Good. Now... What do you want for breakfast?”

“I... I don’t know. My... my mom doesn’t usually give me a choice.”

Kenny and Ellie chuckled at that then Ellie explained, “Well you’re at Auntie Andie’s place. She couldn’t run a successful restaurant if she didn’t make what her customers order. She really doesn’t mind making you whatever you want.”

That got a big, toothy grin from him as he answered, “I’ve never had French Toast, so I don’t know if I’ll like it.”

“How ‘bout I do this? I’ll make you an order of French Toast and if you don’t like it, I’ll make you some scrambled eggs instead. Deal?”

“Deal!”

Ellie had finished her breakfast while I was doing my negotiations with Piper, so she was washing her dish when I turned to cook the boys’ breakfast. When she was done with that, she cracked a couple of eggs into a bowl to make scrambled eggs. Any time I stayed at Opie’s, she had fun playing the role of my Sous-Chef. When she was younger that meant passing me ingredients. Now that she was older, she was able to help with the actual cooking. I couldn’t help but to smile at how easily we fell into sync with each other.

“Lyla looked really pretty last night, didn’t she?” Ellie asked as she poured the eggs into a pan.

“She sure did. I still don’t know how she can walk in heels like that. I would have sprained my ankle or broken my neck if I tried.”

“She told me it’s all about practice. She’s been wearing them for so long that they’re as comfortable for her as sneakers are for you and I.”

“Huh... That makes sense.”

She continued to stir the eggs in the pan until they were fully cooked. It looked like she was concentrating on her work, but in reality, I could tell that she was avoiding making eye contact with me. Shit. What did she want to talk to me about?

“Auntie? Can I ask you something?” She finally asked as she pushed the eggs onto a plate.

“Always, Sweets. You know you can talk to me about anything.”

She then turned her attention to plating the French Toast I was cooking onto a plate with bacon and toast for Kenny and Piper. Once again, she was deliberately avoiding eye contact as she asked, “Do you think that will ever be you?”

“Will what ever be me?”

You could almost hear her swallow uncomfortably. “Do you think you’ll ever be the one Grandpa walks down the aisle?”

“Oh... that... I... I honestly don’t know,” I answered. She finally turned her eyes up to look at me, so I gave her a cheeky smile and a playful wink. “Plus, you know what I’ve always said... I said, you know what?”

“She said what?” She replied, singing the lyrics back to me.

“I say ‘What?” I sang back.

“Oh, I’m not the marrying kind,” we continued together. “Don’t kiss me, don’t claw me, don’t pet me, don’t paw me. Oh... I won’t leave my freedom behind.”

We continued singing Elvis Presley’s ‘I’m not the marrying kind’ while we finished making the boys’ breakfast. Just like he always did, Kenny shook his head and tried to tune us out. When he noticed Piper was trying to figure out what we were doing, he leaned over to quietly say, “Don’t worry. If you ignore them, they won’t make you join in with them.”

“Okay... good... Because I don’t know that song.”

Kenny chuckled. “I don’t think anyone but them does either.”

Ellie and I were having so much fun cooking and singing that I hadn’t notice we were no longer the only ones in the kitchen. When we turned around with a plate each, she fell completely silent. At first, I couldn’t figure out why, but then I saw it. Or rather him. Happy was leaning against the door frame watching us with an amused smile on his face.

She took the second plate from me and placed them in front of each of the boys. They then started eating in complete silence. Ellie didn’t move from her spot beside Kenny, which made me bark out a laugh. I knew they didn’t know Happy all that well, but I never expected them to act this timid.

“Good Morning, Happy. Are you hungry?” (I didn’t use his nickname because I was worried it would confuse the kids and possibly make this morning even more uncomfortable.)

He shook his head and entered the room. “No, thanks. I’ll just...”

He fell silent when I started pouring him a cup of tea. He sat down at the table with the kids, so I carried the cup over to him. As I placed it on the table, I leaned down to give him a soft kiss on the lips. “Are you sure? Bacon’s hot out of the oven...”

He took a sip while he watched the boys eat. “Alright. Toast and bacon sound good.”

“French or plain?” Ellie asked, sounding and looking more at ease than she had when Happy first entered the room.

“Plain.”

“Coming up!” She replied as she hurried over to the counter.

Happy gave me a questioning look that caused me to laugh loudly. “She’s starting her waitress training here at home.”

He chuckled softly at that then returned to silently sipping his tea. I then turned my attention to Piper to ask, “So what’s the verdict?”

He swallowed his mouthful then answered, “It’s delicious.”

“Good to hear.” Ellie finished putting Happy’s breakfast together, so I picked up the plate of scrambled eggs that she had cooked and started eating them. “Is everyone okay with ham and cheese sandwiches and apple juice for lunch?”

The three of them nodded, so I got to work on putting their lunches together. I had prepped as much as I could before we went to the wedding, so there really wasn’t much for me to do this morning but put the food into their lunch bags. I was sure that their lunches were probably more basic than the ones that Lyla made for them, but they could survive it for a day.

Ellie wandered over to my side to help pack their lunches, but I was pretty much finished. Since no more help was needed in the kitchen, she quietly offered, “I’ll go make sure everything’s packed up and ready to put into your truck, then I’ll come back and do the dishes.”

“Thanks, Sweets. I’d really appreciate that.”

She leaned up and kissed my cheek before hurrying out of the room. Kenny quickly shoveled in the last couple of bites of food off his plate and into his mouth and practically swallowed them whole. Just as Ellie hit the door to exit the room, he jumped to his feet and started for the door.

I quickly called out, “Excuse me!” That froze him in his place at the door. I waited for him to turn around before I continued, “You forgot to leave a tip.”

He let out an unimpressed noise and rolled his eyes in reply. What the hell? That was part of our usual routine. Normally it was met with a laugh not a look of distain. Damn kid was growing up too damn fast.

“DON’T TOUCH MY STUFF ELLIE!” He then yelled out as he moved back to the table to carry his dishes over to the sink. After he dumped them into the soapy water, he turned to give me a pleading look and practically begged, “If I promise to come back and wash them, can I go make sure that Ellie isn’t wrecking my stuff?”

“Your sister won’t wreck your stuff,” I countered with an exasperated sigh. “But yes, you can go pack up. I’ll take care of the dishes.”

“Thank you, Auntie! You’re the best!”

“You know I am,” I replied to his back as he ran out of the room. When I turned my eyes back to the table, I noticed Piper standing behind his seat with his dishes in his hands. I softened my voice then said, “Just put them on the counter. I’ll wash everything up while you pack.”

He smiled and looked much more at ease. “Thank you. And thank you for breakfast. I was SO good.”

“You’re more than welcome, Buddy.”

After he left the room, Happy got up and started washing the dishes. “You’re really good with them,” he commented with his back facing me.

I shrugged then replied, “Donna and Lyla did the hard work. I’m just trying my best to no undo all of it.”

“You shouldn’t do that.”

“Shouldn’t do what, Grumpy?” I asked as I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed a spot between his shoulder blades.

He kept working on the dishes as he answered, “Discounting your influence. It’s obvious how much your niece and nephew love and respect you.”

“I’ll give you the first one, but I’m not so sure the second is true anymore.”

I had moved to his side to help with the dishes, so it was easier for him to turn his head and give me an unimpressed look. “He respects you or he wouldn’t have asked if he could leave without doing his chores.”

“That’s not respect, that’s fear. He knows what’ll happen if he doesn’t pull his weight. If he respected me, he wouldn’t roll his eyes when I say something he doesn’t find funny.”

“He wouldn’t be a Winston if he didn’t have a little smart-ass streak in him, Princess.”

“HAPPY!” I cried out incredulously as I elbowed him in the side. He gave me a look and then bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

“You know it’s true.”

Yeah, he had me there, but I didn’t want to concede defeat just yet. It was too early in the morning to let him have a win. Especially one that easy. Thankfully, Ellie reentered the room, so I could shift our focus back to her without making it look like I was bowing out of having to agree with him and his logic.

“We have everything packed and ready to go. Did you want us to load it all into your truck?” She asked once I turned to face her.

“Sounds good, Sweets.” I tossed her my keys then added, “I’ll drop your bags at your house after I get you guys to school, so just toss them into the far back.”

“Okay, I can do that. I’ll tell the boys to hurry up so that we aren’t late for school.”

“Perfect. I’ll meet you out at my truck in a couple of minutes.” Once we were alone in the kitchen again, I turned to Happy and asked, “Will you be home when I’m done dropping them off?”

He nodded. “But not for long. I have to head down to Bakersfield, so I’m just waiting out rush hour traffic.”

“Bakersfield? To see your mom and aunt?”

“Sort of,” he answered, suspicion plain in his voice and on his face. “We have some precious cargo being stored there that we need to check on.”

“So, having someone there to distract them from focusing on your cargo would be a good thing?”

I only phrased it as a question to keep from sounding like I was being too pushy. I knew it was always better if it seemed like the request for me to come with him was his idea, even if it was just partially. Normally, I would have been more tactful and lead up to that question at a slower pace, but time was not a luxury I could afford today.

Suspicion was still evident in his tone when he asked, “Distraction?”

“Yeah… She mentioned teaching me the family apple pie recipe when I was helping her move. I just figured that it would be a good way of keeping her and your aunt from questioning who’s in their house and what they’re doing.”

“That could be true. But the family recipe… that’s for family only… If she’s teaching you, does that mean…?”

“We’re ready to go, Auntie,” Ellie called out before she entered the room. When she saw the look on our faces, she picked up their lunches and hurried out of the room.

I closed the space between Happy and I to kiss his lips. “Can we pause here and pick this up after I’ve dropped the kids off? I promise, I’m no avoiding the topic… I just can’t do it justice right now.”

He nodded then said, “Alright. We’ll pause here.”

I kissed him again and replied against his lips, “Thank you. I promise I won’t be long.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I skipped going to Opie’s house so that I could get back to Happy that much sooner. Not that I really wanted to get into this topic right now. I was honestly worried that it might scare Happy off, but I was ready to rip the Band Aid off. If not wanting to get married and have kids was a deal breaker, then so be it. I’d rather find out now and save myself some heartbreak.

Yeah… right. I couldn’t keep from rolling my eyes either. But I had to pretend that’s how I felt or I might break down. But I really did want to know if it would be a deal breaker or not.

I found Happy in the living room, sitting in his easy chair. He had a bag packed at his feet and almost looked like he was getting ready to move out. What the fuck? I just got him home, how dare he leave now! How…? Fuck. What was I thinking? This is HIS house, maybe that’s my shit in the bag. Oh! So, he wants me to leave? Well, fuck that…

“So…? Are you ready to press play? Or do you want to geld me first?” He asked in a genuinely curious tone.

I crossed my arms over my chest and defiantly replied, “Depends. Whose bag is that?”

“Bag?” He followed my eyeline to his feet and let out a scoff. “Technically mine, but it’s shit for my mother.”

“What kind of shit?”

He didn’t reply to that. Instead, he unzipped the bag and picked it up for me to look inside of it. I had to take a couple of steps into the room to look into the bag. After I got a good look of its contents I asked, “More meds? I… I thought she was doing better.”

“She is… Because of the meds.”

“Oh… Yeah… Makes sense.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” I answered as I felt a lot of tension ease out of my muscles. “You can ask me anything.”

He made very direct eye contact as he asked, “What the hell did you think was in the bag…?” He narrowed his eyes when my cheeks turned red. “…because it looked like you were gearing up for a fight.”

“I… I thought…” I let out a dejected sigh then sat on the coffee table in front of him. “I told you my imagination gets really dark. I… I thought it was your way of saying that one of us was moving out.”

“What? Why? Oh… No… Wait. You said your imagination, so… what? What’s wrong?”

My embarrassed blush returned with a renewed vigor. “I… I know why my thoughts headed in that direction.”

He just watched me in silence while he waited for me to continue, but realization stole my words from me. Now I could see how ridiculous those thoughts had been. I could see how irrational they were, but I wasn’t sure that I could admit the truth to him.

But then I looked up into his face. There was no way I could ignore that oh so earnest and innocent look on his face because Happy rarely looked innocent.

“You… you heard he song. I know you did because you asked about it. In… In my head, you… you… FUCK… It just sounds so stupid.”

I stood up then causing Happy to reach out and grab my arm to stop me from walking away. When I finally turned to look at him, he said, “Except that you haven’t said it out loud.”

“That’s how unbelievably stupid it is,” I admitted.

Happy gave me a look that told me that answer wasn’t enough. And that he deserved so much better. I took a step back to sit on the coffee table, but he tugged gently on my arm to cause me to fall into his lap. I thought about struggling against him, but he hugged his arms around my waist and kissed my cheek before he whispered, “Please tell me why you were mad at me.”

“I wasn’t mad,” I countered as I relaxed against his chest. “Alright. So… In my head, I was pretty much convinced that hearing me joke about not wanting to get married meant that you wouldn’t want to stay in a relationship for me.”

“So…? I packed a bag? ONE single bag?”

FUCK, I’m an idiot! “It… It was symbolic.”

“Symbolic?” He tried to keep a straight face, but that didn’t last long. He started laughing in a fashion that some people might call ‘hysterically’. Not me, but some people.

“Happy!” I whined out as I stood up off his lap. “I told you it was stupid.”

He reached out again to catch my had before I could stomp away saying, “I’m sorry, Princess. I didn’t know that your imagination was that vivid. BUT I DO want to know more about the song. Like… Is that how you really feel?”

I nodded then sat down on the coffee table. He was leaning forward while holding my hand, so I scooted forward to make him more comfortable. “I might joke a lot, but yes… Yes, I have never been able to see myself married with kids. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Ellie and Kenny with all my heart, but nothing makes me breathe easier than to know that I’m not ultimately responsible for them.”

“Alright, I get that. But… You and Hale…”

“HE bought the rings,” I interrupted in a heated tone. “David bought the rings and planned to propose. I had nothing to do with it. I had told him I didn’t have to marry someone to spend the rest of my life with them, but that wasn’t enough for him. He… HE wanted marriage.”

“Would you have said yes?” Happy asked in a quiet, careful tone.

That question made me turn my eyes up to his face so that I could hold his gaze as I answered, “Honestly? I don’t know. Knee jerk reaction? No, I would have said no. But… But it really doesn’t matter. It will never happen, so there’s no use falling into the ‘what if’ vortex.”

“True, but…”

“NO. Happy… No buts. That chapter is closed and done. It has NOTHING to do with my future. But… But you are… I hope.”

He leaned forward to capture my lips in a soft kiss. “Alright.”

“Alright? Alright what?” I quickly asked… Okay, I asked in a near panicked voice.

He gently tugged on my hands until I was once again sitting in his lap. Happy then moved his hands up to my hair and ran his fingers through my locks. I wish I could say that I relaxed into his embrace, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t until I heard his answer to my question.

“Happy… Alright what?” I tried again as tears started to creep into my tone.

While I was on the verge of bursting into tears, Happy used his hold on my head to pull it forward to kiss me. He’s kissing me? That wasn’t an expected move. What did it mean?

“Alright,” he repeated in a finite tone. “That answers my question because you are definitely apart of my future.”


	6. In Spite Of All This The World Will Still Continue

In Spite  Of All This The World Will Still Continue

“Get in there!” I heard Happy growl out from something behind me. I didn’t bother to turn around until I heard him cry out an indignant... no ANGRY “ANDIE!”

I dropped the pan I had in my hands into the sink of soapy water before I turned to face him. He had Miles by the scruff of his neck to push his new brother through his Aunt’s living room. SHIT. Happy was pissed, but who had pushed his buttons? He liked everything to be in its place, so I automatically moved to the sink to start washing the dishes when I arrived in the kitchen.

I hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep the night before... and no, Happy had nothing to do with it. Well, not in the fun sense. Now that his mom was feeling better, she wanted have a talk with me. After I helped her sister to bed,  Happy’s mom and I chatted over tea and biscuits until he got in. Trust me, the look of surprise on when he and the guys found us sitting in the living room was beyond priceless. His mom quickly retired to her room then Happy lead me to the spare bedroom.

Before I could ask him any questions about why he was the only one in the house, he explained, “Miles and Kozik will share cargo watch. Let’s go to bed.”

I twisted in his hold so that I could grip his cut in my hands as I walked backwards. “To bed you say?” I questioned playfully.

“Yes,” he replied in the old severe, humorless tone that I hardly ever heard from him anymore. “To sleep.”

“Just sleep, Grumpy?”

Once we were in the bedroom, he shut the door then detached himself from my hold. When he just moved to disrobe by hanging his cut on a hook beside the door, I stepped back to watch him. Shit, I guess this is why they say you shouldn’t mix business with pleasure. After he stripped off his t-shirt and undershirt, I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed his bare back. I tried to relax against his body, but he quickly pulled my hands away from his waist so that he could turn around and step away from my reach.

“Happy?” I questioned as I watched him continue to pull on an oversized t-shirt as his jeans dropped to the floor. He then picked up his jeans and hung them up beside his cut. 

When he noticed I hadn’t moved, Happy finally replied, “We’re under my Aunt’s roof. We can't end our day like we usually do.”

“Okay,” I agreed in a careful, confused tone. But a goodnight kiss doesn’t always have to lead to sex.” he watched as I changed into my Grandpa styled flannel night shirt and boxer shorts (what can I say? We were at his Mom’s house, so I wanted to be modest.) He raised a challenging eyebrow to which I replied, “What? It doesn’t. Excuse me for wanting to be close to you after spending fourteen months apart.”

“ So, what was that show in the hallway about?” He asked as he got into bed.

I laughed, mostly to myself, as I folded my clothes to place them back in my overnight bag. “Sorry, but I was an opening to tease Kozik. I will NEVER pass up an opportunity to rub some salt in his wounds. You can't blame me or get mad for that.”

“Blame? No, but...” He lifted the covers to invite me into the bed. “But one of these days I WILL want you to tell me more about that story. But not tonight. We need to sleep tonight.”

“Oh... Okay...” I said, barely masking my confusion. 

I took my time turning out the lights before I made my way to the bed. By the time I finally crawled under the covers, Happy had already settled onto his onto his right side with his back facing my side of the bed. I slipped under the covers on my left side so that my back was facing his. You know, since we were just going to bed and all.

As I started to settle in my spot, I felt Happy shift on the mattress. Then I felt his arm land on my side to pull me into his chest. He then kissed my hair and mumbled, “Sweet dreams, Princess.”

Sleep? Yeah, right. That so wasn’t happening. Now I had to try to figure out how to tell him about my past with one of his brothers. Normally, it would be an easy tale to tell, but as much as I joked, I didn’t want Kozik dead. And if I wasn’t careful with my words, Happy wouldn’t hesitate to breach Club protocol to make Kozik pay... For crimes that I had already issued a sentence and gotten my justice.

“Princess?” He questioned against my hair.

I hugged his arms against my chest as I replied, “Good night, Grumpy.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Get over there and clean up your mess!” Happy ordered Miles again. I quickly moved away from the sink. One I was within reach, Happy wrapped an arm around my shoulders then said, “He’s the low man on the totem pole, Princess. He should be doing your dishes, not the other way around.”

“I know,” I answered as I hugged him around the waist. “But I was them sitting there and thought that I’d clean up before I started making breakfast.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you, but he made the mess so he can clean it,” Happy stated as he wrapped his other arm around me.

I rested my head on his chest while we both watched Miles finish washing his dishes. The poor guy looked really uncomfortable with us watching him, but I didn’t do anything to change my position. It was partially because he was basically still a Prospect. This year wasn’t supposed to be easy on him. But if I was being completely honest it was because of Happy. He seemed to want to stand here and watch Miles and I wasn’t inclined to argue. Especially since it meant that I got to do it while hugging him tight.

“So, I was...” I started until I felt Happy go completely rigid in my arms. I then lowered my voice to  ask , “What’s wrong?”

“Was that the  truck starting up?”

I tilted my head to listen then answered, “Maybe Kozik is just moving it to make it easier to pack?” He scowled at that question, so  I quickly added, “Or not. Let’s go check.”

We both turned to rush to the door with Miles hot on our heels. The first thing we saw when we got out to the yard was Kozik running towards the house from the back fence. Where the fuck  was he coming from? Had he just climbed the fence to get back INTO the yard? No, that didn’t make sense, right?

“SHIT!” Kozik cursed out when he noticed that the truck was  gone .

I very cautiously turned to face the direction that he was looking and whispered my own slew of expletives. Happy looked between Kozik and the empty driveway, looking like he was trying to decide what to do and say next.

“Andie, go back into the house,” he finally instructed as he glared at Kozik.

I stared at him for as second before I opened my mouth to protest. When he noticed that I hadn’t moved, Happy moved just his eyes to glare at me. As soon as our gazes met, his expression softened and he sounded much less severe when he said, “Please, Princess, go back into the house.”

I nodded then walked over to his side to kiss his cheek. I wanted to say something to him, more precisely I wanted to thank him for correcting himself, but I knew I couldn’t do that. At least not right now. A good Old Lady does was she’s told. Alright, I get that but I refuse to be treated like an abused dog and everyone in the MC knew that. So, for now I just kissed  Happy’s cheek with a mental note to thank him properly when we got home.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I knew Happy had called Jax to tell there had been some sort of hiccup with their delivery, but I didn’t know when the guys were expected to arrive. So, my task now was to keep his mom and aunt distracted so that they wouldn’t been asking too many questions about what was happening. That turned into me finally becoming privy to the Lowman family apple pie recipe. The secret ingredient is love. No, wait... it’s lard. I don’t think  Happy’s mom got the memo that us Old Ladies were expected to watch our waistlines.

We were just getting the first batch (yes, we had made enough for six pies) into the oven when I heard the guys arrive. I tried to ignore them, even when they were yelling, but that proved  fruitless when I heard Opie yell, “SAVE IT FOR CHURCH!”

“Andie?” I heard someone calling out like it wasn’t the first time she had tried to get my attention. “ Sweetheart ? Are you okay?”

I looked down at my hands and realized why  Happy’s mom sounded worried. Somehow, I had gotten so distracted that I had started to wash the dish sponge with the dish cloth. Fuck, I must look like a crazy person.

“Andie?” She tried again.

“What? Oh... Shoot... Sorry, I’m fine,” I answered as I started to dry my hands. I just... I’ll be back in a second to finish the rest of the dishes.”

“Sweetheart, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I... I’m not going to  meddle, I just want to say hi to my brother.”

“And---…"

I was out the door before she could finish saying my name. This was a bad idea. I knew it was, but I still had this feeling that I needed to check on Opie. Don’t ask me why, maybe it was that twin psychic connection you hear people talk about all the time. I really don’t know, but I had to check on him, see him with my own eyes before I could continue on with my day.

As soon as I was out in the yard, I sprinted over to Opie. He barely had a chance to react before I threw myself against his chest. I burrowed my face into his chest while I tightened my arms around his waist under his cut.

He combed his fingers through my hair with his left hand while his right rubbed comforting circles on my back over my tattoo. “Hey... Are you okay, Drea?”

“Better now. You know...” I leaned back and lost my words when I saw the cut on the bridge of his nose. “What the hell happened?”

“I’m fine,” he replied dismissively as his hand fell away from my hair. 

“I didn’t ask how you were, I asked what the hell happened, Harry.”

“Drea...”

“It was a misunderstanding with old friends,” Jax explained as he stepped over to Opie’s side.

I reached out my right hand to brush my thumb over the abrasion on Jax’s left cheek. “I... I thought that was all settled at the wedding.”

“Apparently it wasn’t,” Opie answered.

I scowled but before I could say anything else, Jax said, “But it is now... Thanks to our new friends.”

“Really?” I questioned, staring Opie in the eye.

“Really,” he replied with an easy smile.

I moved my left arm around Jax’s waist so that I could pull both of them into a hug. I wedged myself between them, forcing them to wrap an arm around my back. When we were growing up, everyone used to joke that we acted more like triplets than friends. We may not all share DNA, but I’ve always considered both of them my brothers. Whenever I was away from Charming this is what I missed the most: having my brothers by my side to help me feel safe.

“I love you,” I said while my chin was on Jax’s shoulder. I then took a step back and placed my hands on a cheek of each of their faces. “You take care of each other today or I’ll go  medieval on your asses. Understood?”

“Absolutely,” they replied in unison.

Jax kissed my cheek then turned to walk away. Opie leaned down to kiss my forehead and said, “I’m alright, Sis.”

“I know,” I answered with a warm smile. I ran my finger over the cut on his nose then added, “But as your big sister, I get to worry about you anyways. Ride safe.”

Before he could reply, I walked over to  Happy’s side. After I placed a sound kiss on his lips, I said, “Watch their backs. And... Get home safe to me, okay?”

“Of course.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Happy burst through the door of the spare bedroom and scooped me up into his arms before I realized it was him. The passionate kiss he placed on my lips made me forget to be upset that I dropped my book and lost my place. I mean, who could be worried about re-reading a couple of paragraphs when your boyfriend had his tongue down your throat and was turning you into a puddle of jelly? Not me, that’s who.

I’m not embarrassed to say I chased his lips and let out a low whine as he pulled away. My cheeks didn’t turn red until I heard him chuckle. I’m fairly certain it was in response to the look I was currently wearing on my face.

“You are so beautiful, Princess.” My eyebrows tilted into a scowl causing him to bark out a laugh. “Even when you scowl at me or look like you want to castrate me, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met.”

“Thank you, but... why...? Why are you buttering me up with compliments?”

“Because... I need you to pack up all your stuff and head home.”

“What? Why?”

He  pet my head then pulled my face forward to kiss me. “The shit with the stolen cargo, it... it could block back on us. I want to make sure you’re safe. ”

“But if I stay  here, I can make sure your mom and aunt are safe and...” I trailed off when he started shaking his head. “Okay... What am I missing?”

“They would never actually hurt two elderly women. But you? I... I don’t think they would hesitate to hurt you if you’re here.”

“And that would be really shitty for them to see,” I said as the realization of what he was trying to tell me hit me. “Okay, I’ll... Let me just go say good bye then it won’t take me long before I’m ready to go.”

I got up and started for the door but stopped when Happy called out, “Andie?” I turned back towards him as he caught my right hand. “Thank you for not fighting me on this.”

I stepped into him so I could kiss his lips. “Thank you for not barking orders at me. I’m trying to be a good Old Lady and it helps that you don’t treat me like I'm a little bitch.”

“That’s because you’re nobody’s bitch... and you’re my Princess.”

“You know it, Grumpy.”

Happy was still in the spare bedroom after I finished saying my goodbyes. He was sitting on the bed with my bag in front of him. It looked like he had started packing everything up for me, but he got distracted by something. Whatever it was had him completely enthralled because he hadn’t noticed that I had reentered the room.

I had to admit that I loved just watching Happy sometimes. When he was with the club or in any sort of public setting, he kept his emotions hidden from everyone. But when he thought he was  alone, I could usually read his emotions plainly on his face. Right now, he was looking very thoughtful, as in pensive. Whatever he was reading was making him... Wait! Reading? What was he...?

SHIT. I took a couple of steps forward so that I could confirm what I already knew was true. Happy was ready my journal. He still didn’t look like he had noticed I was standing beside him, so I cleared my throat to make my presence known.

“How did you find out about the drugs?” He asked without  taking his eyes off the page.

“Opie.” That got him to move his eyes to my face. I sat down on the bed beside him as I explained, “He needed a sounding board and he knows whatever he says to me stays with me.”

“What about this?” He asked as he tapped the cover of my now closed journal.

I placed my hand over his that was now laying on the cover replying, “It isn’t for public consumption. Sometimes I have shit to say that I know no one wants to hear, so I write it down. I’ve been doing it since I learned how to write. No one knows about my journals because it the stuff I know  no one wants to talk with me about. You were supposed to see it yet.”

“Yet? So...? Does that mean you wanted to tell me these thoughts you’ve had about the Cartel?”

I cupped his chin to turn his face towards me. “I want to tell you everything, but I don’t know if we’re at that point in our relationship yet. I want us to get to a point where I don’t have to write anything down in those stupid books because I can talk with you about it.”

“I’d like that too. So? Is that how you really feel?” 

“Yes,” I whispered around the lump forming in my throat. “I... I don’t trust them. I don’t believe that they won’t get you or Opie hurt... or worse. They... You’re just faceless mules to them... they don’t care what happens to you so long as they get their guns. I know it isn’t the popular...”

He leaned forward to kiss me into silence before he said, “You talk a lot.”

I playfully glared at him because he only said that to tease me now. Thankfully he didn’t say it to me all that often. I then kissed him and retorted, “You don’t talk enough.”

He let out a growl before he pulled me into his lap. My laughter was muffled by him kissing me again. I remained silent while I tried to gauge his reaction. He combed my hair back with his fingers then said, “And you wrote pretty much exactly what I’ve been thinking too.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Since I had been exiled to  Happy’s house for the next few days (hopefully it didn’t take them long to get everything figured out), I decided to head into TM. Sure, I was wasn’t all “buddy  buddy ” with Tara but I still some level of refuge when I was there. It was the one place I always knew I could find family and feel loved.

As I pulled my bike into the parking lot, the first person I notice was dad. He was sitting at the picnic table looking out towards the row of the MC’s bikes. I was tempted to ride up to him, but I didn’t want to breach any of the known protocols. Bikes stayed int the lot and didn’t'[ go near or into the clubhouse. 

So, I parked in my usual spot by the office. As I removed my helmet, I noticed Gemma marching up to Clay who was over by the bikes. She said something to him that I couldn’t hear and his reply was to... What the fuck? He grabbed her by the hair so that he could angrily give her his reply. Seriously, what the actual fuck? 

I must have been too stunned to move or think because the next thing I knew I heard Gemma saying, “Andie? Sweetheart? The garage is closed for the day...”

She let that last thought  trail off, so I quickly replied, “I know. I... I came to see Dad.”

She smiled warmly and stroked my cheek saying, “You’re a good daughter, Andie. One of the rare ones.”

She then continued into her office while I continued to stare at the empty space she had just vacated. Did I mention, what the fuck?

Thankfully my feet didn’t need my brain to function. They started walking towards my dad before my brain caught up with me. I was still reeling at what I had witnessed between Gemma and Clay because since I was a little  girl, they had always been my example of a perfect couple. How could they go from picture perfect to nearly having a domestic in the parking lot of TM? That was... What...?

“Short Stack? Are you okay?”

I shook my head to clear the half questions and other thoughts when I felt Dad touched my forearm. He looked so worried that I almost laughed. ALMOST. I was alert enough to know that laughter was not an appropriate response right now.

“I’m okay, Daddy.”

He gave me a truly unimpressed look as he retorted in an equally perturbed tone, “Andrea.”

“I am, Daddy,” I replied as I leaned down to kiss his cheek. I then sat down next to him before I continued, “But I am a bit confused. Do you know what that was all about between Clay and Gemma?”

“We have a big vote coming up.”

I stared at the side of his face for a second to see if he would elaborate. When he didn’t look like he was going to say anything else, I leaned in closer to him so I could ask just over a whisper, “And Gemma doesn’t support the partnership with the Cartel?”

That finally got him to turn his eyes to my face. A face that I made had a look that was so innocent that an angel would blush.

“Maybe,” he replied, suspicion plain in his voice. “You think you know something about that?”

“Yes, actually I do.” I leaned in again so that I could lower my voice to add, “I don’t think the vote will pass.”

“You don’t?”

“No, I don’t. Happy is voting your way.  Chibs won’t trust them enough to vote yes. Despite what I usually have to say about Kozik, he will never be on  board of more drugs coming into the city. And Jax... No way he’s okay with pushing the same shit that almost killed Abel before he was born.”

“And your brother?”

I shook my head then replied sadly, “I don’t know where his head is at. I want to say he’ll vote no, but I think their save yesterday will have a lot of sway for him.”

“Shit... How did you get so smart, Short Stack?”

I hugged Dad replying, “No one expects a woman to have brains and beauty. I like being able to surprise people.”


	7. And You will always remain in my heart

And You Will Always Remain  In My Heart

“Princess?” Happy called out from inside the house.

If I was a more generous person, I would have yelled out to him, but I wasn’t feeling all that charitable right now... At least not to him or anyone else from the MC. They had decided that the best thing for the Club to do was to send my boyfriend away to negotiate new terms with the IRA to get the Cartel the firearms that they wanted. Yeah, SAMCRO voted to get into bed with a Mexican drug Cartel and honestly those two organizations could go fuck themselves. Yeah... I’m petty like that.

“Princess?” He called out again from the back door of the house. “Andie? Are you out here?” He must have finally seen me because the next thing I hear was a slightly annoyed, “Andie, did you hear me calling you?”

“What?” I answered as I looked up from pulling weeds in our garden. Yep, I was going to play up that I was completely engrossed in gardening right now. “Oh! Hey, Grumpy. I didn’t expect you home. What’s up?”

He glared at me for a couple of steps, but that faded away once he got to my side. “I’m just making a pit stop to pick up the essentials before I head up North. I saw your truck in the driveway, so I figured I’d say a proper goodbye, but... well... I thought you’d be in bed.”

“Yeah, me too... But I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to come out here and get some natural therapy.”

“Natural therapy?”

I chuckled then answered, “I don’t know what the technical term would be for gardening therapy. But, if you’re here, I could really go for some sexual healing.”

He once again looked unimpressed but this time there was a tinge of pain around his eyes when he said, “Andie, I... I can’t...”

“I know,” I cut-in. I finally stood up so that I could place a soft kiss on his lips. “I really do. But you can’t blame a girl for trying.”

“So, says you,” he actually teased  back. “But back to reality. I’m heading out now.”

I frowned then said, “Okay. Will you be back for the fundraiser?”

“I should be.”

“Should?” I pouted more profoundly as I added, “Please try hard to get back for it. I could really use my partner at my side to help try to save one of my favorite parts of the community. Please?”

He kissed me then very seriously answered, “I will do everything in my power to get back before the fundraiser, Princess... Better?”

“Much. Even if it’s just lip service, I appreciate it, Grumpy.”

“Lip service? Ohh... If I didn’t need to head out now...”

“Sorry! I didn’t mean it like that!”

“I know you didn’t. It’s a potluck, right? What are you making?”

I turned my eyes down to the garden then answered, “The tomatoes and onions are doing so well because of Rita’s help, so I was thinking fresh salsa and homemade corn chips. Plus a few kegs of beer, the sodas and some cash.”

“Wow. That sounds very generous.”

“I love the gardens.”

“I believe you,” he replied before he kissed my cheek. “I’ll call you when I get up there.”

“Okay. I’ll try to stay up.”

“Please don’t,” he quickly countered as he placed a very firm kiss on my lips. “You need to sleep before your night shift, so please be sleeping when I call.”

“All I can promise is that I’ll try my best.”

“That’s what I like to hear, Princess.”

“I aim to please. Drive safe and take care up there, Grumpy.”

“You know I will,” he replied before he gave me one last kiss goodbye.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Since Happy was up North with Kozik negotiating terms with the Irish to smuggle their guns into the country, I chose to work nights at my bar instead of days at the restaurant. The Buffalo Grill was doing alright, but the Buffalo Bar was still my bread and butter. People didn’t seem to have as many issues with going to a Club endorsed bar as they did a SAMCRO endorsed restaurant. Don’t get me wrong, the restaurant was doing okay, especially for its first year, but the bar was the reason I didn’t have to go to work... unless I wanted to... Which also meant an extra hand there was always welcomed too.

And believe me, I WANTED to work so that I had a distraction. That meant that I spent my nights bussing tables and running orders to customers. Cody laughed the first night when he saw me place the tips I had picked up from my tables into a communal jar behind the bar.

“What?” I asked as I dropped the twenty dollars in small bills in the pot. “Seriously...? What’s so funny Cody?”

“Nothing,” he tried to brush me off as he placed a tub on clean glasses on the bar to unload them. I gave him a look as he started to pull them out that made him laugh again. “Okay... Fine. Look at you acting like you’re the new waitress on staff. How much would it blow some of the customers minds to know the owner is running their orders to them?”

“Well... From most of the questions I’ve been fielding about Opie and Jax, I’d say pretty much everyone already knows.”

“Shit, really?”

“Really.” I then glared at him and very sternly scolded him saying, “And you SERIOUSLY have to stop insinuating to everyone that my twin brother and his best friend are gay. If it gets back to them, I’m so not going to protect you Cody.”

“Aww Boss don’t say that...”

“Cody...” I tried again in the same warning tone.

“What? I swear it will NEVER get back to them.”

I continued to glare at him, albeit half-heartedly now, before I kissed his cheek and said, “It better not.”

The best part about being the runner in my bar at night meant that I crashed hard and slept during the day. And by slept, I mean a slept like the dead. Which was perfect because when I slept that deeply, I didn’t dream. That was a fucking godsend because I seemed to always have the most messed up dreams when Happy was out of town. And I really didn’t want to know what my subconscious had to say about my situation right now.

So, you can imagine my surprise when I woke up to the sensation of lips caressing my flesh. I came out of my deep sleep slowly because I still remembered that today was my first real day off. After having a hot bubble bath when I got home from work, I knew I didn’t have to set an alarm before I fell into bed and crashed hard.

“Princess,” Happy whispered as he peppered my cheek and neck with  soft embraces. “Please wake up, Princess.”

As I started to become more alert, I turned over onto my right side to face him. I still wasn’t ready to open my eyes, but I wasn’t opposed to him kissing the left side of my face too. He, thankfully, didn’t disappoint, but he limited his embraces to my lips and cheek.

I must have frowned unconsciously because the next thing I knew, I felt him huff out a laugh against my lips. “Princess, I know you’re awake. Please open your eyes.”

I let out  an unhappy grumble of a noise then replied (with my eyes still firmly closed), “The last time you did this, there was coffee involved.”

“That’s true,” he agreed before he kissed me again. “But we don’t have to get out of bed today.”

That comment caused my eyes to fly open as my left hand landed against  Happy’s left cheek. “Why Mr. Lowman, does that me we can stay in bed while you fuck my brains out all day?”

“You bet your ass it does.”

I stared at him for a breath before I surged forward to lay claim  Happy’s lips. I met zero resistance as I rolled him over onto his back and blanketed his body. In fact, he moved his hands to my back to help keep me anchored against his body.

I pulled back from his lips so that I could sit up on his lap. Happy just watched as I move both of his hands under my t-shirt to place them on my naked breasts. He needed no prompting or encouragement to get him to massage my flesh as I pulled my shirt up and over my head. After I threw my shirt across the room, I looked down at him an let out a soft chuckle. He really meant it when he said we didn’t' have to get out of bed because he had gotten into it completely naked. Damn, how much do I wish I had done the same thing this morning? He then sat up and replied his hand with his mouth against one of my breasts. I swear the things this man could do with his mouth was exquisite. It definitely made up for how little he spoke sometimes. I would take this oral attention over listening to him drone on about some random topic any day.

NO, that’s a lie. I LOVE listening to his voice. It was low, gravely and always held an edge of danger to it. He was an apex predator and I was his willing prey. Hell, I’ve gotten wet just listening to him talk about his bike. That only sucks when it happens over the phone and I’m not going to see him for a couple of days.

I moved my hands to his head and started to massage the sides of it. “Oh Grumpy, that’s amazing. I’ve missed you so much.”

He kissed a path along my chest then pulled back to look up into my face. “Missed you too. And with the guys in Arizona, I don’t have to go anywhere... for a few days.”

“Seriously? You don’t even have to go into TM?”

He shook his head. “Clay said to take a couple days off as a thank you for everything I did up North.”

“Shit... Really? I’ll call Cody later to tell him not to expect to hear from me for the foreseeable future.”

“That’s what I wanted to hear, Princess. Now up.”

I lifted myself up just far enough that he could work my panties off my hips. Once we had them wrapped around my right ankle, I moved back into position. He ran the tips of his fingers up and down the length of my spine while I impaled myself on his length. It wasn’t often that he let me ride him like this, so I wanted to relish being in the position of power right now.

He continued to trace the line of my spine until I started to slowly rock myself on him. At first, he just placed his hands on my hips while he kept himself perfectly still. Although I enjoyed a slower pace once in a while, right now I was doing it just to tease him. I really wanted to see how long he would let me keep this pace. I had him all to myself and I was going to have fun playing with him.

Happy closed his eyes as his hands squeezed my hips hard enough to bruise them. I almost laughed because I knew he was doing it to remind himself not to take over. I guess that meant I had teased him long enough. So, I dropped my hands to his pecs to give me some leverage so that I could quicken my pace. He opened his eyes and shifted his tight grip to allow him to thrust to match the  rhythm I was trying to set.

Aas we fell into perfect synch, I moved my hands to his shoulder and tugged on them gently as I quietly implored, “Come here, Grumpy.” He just stared up at me, so I tugged more insistently saying, “Please? I’ve missed you.”

He watched me for a few breaths before he finally sat up and wrapped me in a hug. I shifted to kiss his lips before I snuggled into his chest to hug him back. “Took you long enough,” I teased as I playfully bit his earlobe.

He shifted his grip on my thighs so that he could then flip me onto my back. I would have giggled, but he stole my breath away as he started a new, punishing pace. He kissed my lips, but I couldn’t reciprocate because I was trying to catch my breath just so that I could function. He laughed at the look he put on my face. I would have been annoyed but he chose that moment to drop his hands on either side of my head to help him not only keep up the pace, but push himself to new lengths inside of me.

I never got a chance to catch my breath, so I had to let out a silent scream when my orgasm hit me. I was so blissed out that I couldn’t participate while he used my body to work himself to completion. I swear he was the first man who ever truly fucked me. Seriously, it was hard, rough and animalistic, but it was exactly what I wanted from him.

Since he had pretty much turned me into a ragdoll, he picked me up to place me back on the bed properly. I watched as he moved around the room, but I tried not to make it too obvious that I was watching him. Much to my delight, he was still completely naked when he crawled back under the sheets.

I waited until it felt like he was settled on his left side before I placed my hand on the back of his neck to pull myself forward to kiss him. “That was a good start.”

“Good start?” He questioned as he rolled over onto his back.

I cuddled up to his side and kissed his neck a couple of times. “You promised to fuck my brains out. THAT was a good start.”

He wrapped his arm around my torso so that he could smack one of my butt cheeks as he replied, “You bet your ass it was.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Happy woke up when I threw his phone onto the bed and nearly hit his face. He glared at the screen after he picked it up, so I said, “It’s Clay” before I turned and left the room.

When he found me, I was back in the kitchen pulling fries out of the pot of boiling oil. I was working on preparing fried chicken tenders and French fries for us when I heard  Happy’s phone ringing. I knew I shouldn’t have answered the damn thing. Or better yet, I should have tossed it out into the yard.

“You got dressed,” he commented as he stepped into the room.

I kept my focus on the task at hand (because you don’t mess around boiling oil. That’s just asking for trouble) as I answered, “I didn’t want to take my chances with the hot oil.” I briefly turned to look at him over my shoulder to confirm my suspicion that he had gotten dressed too. “Not that it matters.”

“You could have made something that didn’t involve boiling oil.”

I pulled the last couple of chicken tenders out from the frying oil and put them on the plate. I the picked up the plate of fries and the plate of fried chicken and finally turned to properly face Happy. Our eyes met briefly, so I made sure to move my gaze to the table top so that the tears I felt wanting to gather wouldn’t form. 

“I had a craving. Plus...” I sniffled then turned my eyes to look up at him again. “Plus... I thought it’d be fun to feed each other finger food in bed.” He took a step forward to try to hug me, so I took a couple of large steps away from him saying, “And again... not that it matters, but I only pulled on a t-shirt... You actually got fully dressed.”

“I did.”

I glared at him when he only offered that simple reply and questioned, “Are you seriously going to make me ask why?”

He picked up a couple of fries and replied as he snacked on them, “They need me up at the warehouse.”

He then moved over to the broom closet and pulled out a bag I have never seen before. I sat down at the table and pulled one of the chicken tenders apart. What can I say? It was our first meal of the day and I was beyond famished. I dunked the chicken into a homemade honey mustard sauce I had perfected for the menu at the bar, but suddenly I didn’t want to eat it. Instead, I just stared at it.

When I remained immobile, Happy sat down beside me and took the chicken tender out of my hand. He dunked it into the dip one more time before he moved to feed it to me. I thought about no accepting the food he was feeding me, but it smelled amazing and I was fucking hungry. 

Once I started chewing my food he said, “I really love the way you mind works. I’m sorry we can do the whole  feeding each other in bed today.”

“You were supposed to be on vacation,” I commented once I swallowed my food.

He was nibbling on some chicken as if he was contemplating the perfect words before he replied, “They need me up at the warehouse.”

I glared at him then stood up so that he couldn’t try to feed me again. I walked over to the cupboard above the microwave and didn’t care how reaching up into it would prove to Happy that I was only wearing a t-shirt. After I pulled down a bottle of my favorite Scotch, I plucked a clean glass from the drying rack in the sink and sat down at the opposite side of the table from where he was seated.

After I swallowed down a couple of mouthfuls, I finally asked, “How long will they need you there?”

He kept eating with an eerie calmness as he replied, “Shouldn’t take long.”

“What shouldn’t take long?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

I watched as he continued to eat the meal I had prepared as if it were any other day and I snapped. I slammed the bottle I had been pouring my drink from down onto the table with enough force that I was surprised it remained intact. He didn’t seem to phased by it, so I made school to reign my emotions in so that my tone remained icy and calm as I said, “Fine then... I’ll just ask Opie to fill me in about it.”

“No, you won’t.”

I turned my eyes to him as I drank down the contents of my glass. He was no longer eating or trying to look nonchalant. Now he was watching me as I poured myself another glassful of Scotch. 

Before I drank this glass down, I held it up as if I was inspecting the contents as I asked, “And why wouldn’t I call my twin brother to find out why my boyfriend is bailing on me during our stay-cation together?”

“Because I asked you not to.”

“Asked?” I retorted with a derisive laugh. “Sounded more like an order to me. Kind of like a Master telling his Bitch to heel.”

“Andie... Please, don’t do that.”

“And why not...? Happy...?”

I rarely used his given name since his nickname came to me so easily. It just rolled off the tongue and felt so natural that I couldn’t help but call him “Grumpy”, so hearing “Happy” now actually gave him a moment of pause.

“Because... I... I asked you to.” I glared at him for so long that he finally added, “Because... I’ll tell you what I can when it’s done, okay?”

I continued to glare at him, but I know I sounded less severe than I wanted to when I answered, “Since they’re poaching you from our vacation time, you better.”

“So that’s why you’re pissed? That I’m cutting our naked time short?”

“No,” I retorted angrily. “I’m annoyed because the MC seems to be doing everything in its power to keep us apart. We were supposed to have more than 36 hours of alone time together and now... Now they’ve called you away to play ‘Big Bad Biker’. Why do they keep sending you asway? I talked to Dad and Opie about us... They said they were cool with us being together and yet... They keep doing whatever they can possibly think of  to keep us from actually spending time together. THAT’S why I’m pissed.”

He stared at me with wide eyes as he ate another piece of chicken while I spoke. After I was finished my... tirade... he looked like he was going to continue to eat, but then he suddenly started to laugh. Seriously? I just poured my heart out to him and he was laughing? Goddammit! Why do guys have to be such insensitive pricks?

Well, he could laugh all he wanted. But I didn’t have to sit here and listen to it. I pushed my chair back from the table and stood up with every intention of leaving. But, unfortunately, he did the same thing and quickly blocked my exit. He took a step towards me, so I picked up the Scotch bottle by the neck and held it up like a baseball bat.

“Woah... what are you going to do with that, Princess? Beat me?”

“I should because you deserve worse for laughing at me.”

“I wasn’t laughing at you.”

I let out a loud scoff then retorted in a truly unimpressed voice, “Yeah... right.”

“Yeah, that IS right.” He stopped then took in a deep breath and visibly forced himself to calm down. “Princess, I was laughing at how ridiculous this fight is.”

“So now I’m  ridiculous ?!”

“NO!” He practically shouted before he closed his eyes and once again forced himself to take in another deep breath. When he opened his eyes, I was expecting to see the icy, dark glare of a serial killer that I had heard so much about over the years, but that wasn’t what happened. Instead, he had a pleading look on his face as he said, “I... I really have to go... But... Please come here, Andie.”

“Why?” I questioned suspiciously as he sat down at the table.

“Because I can’t leave to do my job with you being this angry at me. Please Andie... Please come here so I can try to plead my case?”

I wanted to hold onto my anger, but suddenly I no longer wanted to. If I was being honest, I could admit that I wasn’t actually mad at him. It was Opie and Piney what I could be beating over the head with a baseball bat. Plus, he was dunking another chicken tender in  sauce and I could feel my stomach growl because I was fucking famished.

“Okay,” I agreed while I pulled my chair up to the table.

Happy cleared his throat and shook his head immediately. I let out a soft sigh before I made my way to the chair beside him. Once  again, he shook his head resolutely and then patted his lap. I swallowed the next sigh and complied with his silent request. As soon as I was seated, his right hand moved up to massage my neck while his left brought the chicken tender up to my lips. The only thing I didn’t hesitate to do was to take a couple of dainty bites from the food he offered me.

Once I was eating again, Happy made a show of putting each of his fingers into his mouth to clean them off one by one. Just I was about to ask him what he was doing, he put two of his fingers back into his mouth just  to wet them. Once he had as much saliva on them as he could get, he then moved his hand under the table and under the hem of my t-shirt. I dropped the tender back onto the plate so my hands would be free to grip the table because I knew he was as skilled with his fingers as he was with this mouth.

“They aren’t doing it on purpose. I have special skills and he more work I do the bigger my cut will be. I hate being away from you too, but I’m... I’m really doing this for us.”

I dropped my head so my forehead was pressed against his cheekbone. I felt his skin move as he smiled before he whispered, “Don’t fight it, Princess. Just let the pleasure take you over. Come on... I can feel you’re so close... Let it happened... Please...”

I huffed out a breath of a laugh before I let myself relax. That’s when a wave of pleasure rushed over me. He rubbed his cheek against my forehead as if to mind me to just let what I was feeling flow through me. So, that’s what I did. I shut my brain off... Well no... His magic fingers shut my brain off for me and I did nothing to fight it.

After I finished moaning, I turned  Happy’s face so that I could kiss him. 

“See? I told you I had  special skills.”

“HAPPY!” I cried out before I kissed him again. “You aren’t funny.”

“Yes, I am,” he countered with a cheeky grin as he passed me another chicken tender. “You just don’t have a sense of humor when you’re hungry.”


	8. Forever young

Forever Young

One perk to owning your own restaurant is that you have great people working in the kitchen to help you make amazing menus and meals. If you are truly blessed, like I am, they will also be brutally honest with you if you present shit ideas. I had gone into my establishment to ask my Chef and Sous-Chef about a tortilla chip recipe. After I explained it was for the fundraiser, they told me they had a much better idea. Homemade pasta sauce would highlight the ingredients from my garden, and it would be a better dish for a potluck. The pasta could all be precooked, and it wouldn’t matter if it went cold. The sauce could be prepared ahead of time as well and would be easily heated up at the event. Plus, it would be a vegetarian option that could endear my restaurant to a specific contingency of donors.

Once I had the new menu item chosen, and a new recipe in hand, I decided to stay at the restaurant. I needed a distraction, so helping with the prep work and bussing tables sounded like a great way to do that. My staff knew that anytime I worked on the floor, I didn’t keep my tips. They all worked hard, ran themselves off their feet and did everything in their power to make our customers happy. I paid the fairly, gave employee and family discounts and when I worked the tips I earned went into a jar. My floor manager then decided when they would distribute those funds equally between all of the staff.

The last months pool went to a staff dinner that was fully paid by tips. (I found out after that dinner that some of the other staff had been adding some of their tips to the pot to help fund the night.) Plus, I usually did grunt work that no one else really like to do, so seeing me at the restaurant usually meant they could spend more time focusing on their customers, which in the end helped them to earn healthier tips.

Tonight, I was mostly now just checking over paperwork. I trusted both of my General Managers, but I didn’t want to become an absentee owner. My staff knew they could always come to me with problems and being on site periodically helped to make my open-door policy a reality.

So far no one had had to use it, so I was a little surprised when I heard a knock on the door. But that didn’t cause me to hesitate before I called out, “Come in.”

Luis, one of the Sous-Chefs, stepped in and timidly announced, “Hey Boss. There’s… You have a visitor.”

“Okay… Can you describe them?”

“Young… Stubborn… She says she’s your niece.”

“Ellie…? Ellie’s here? Did she say why?”

He smiled a bit more easily as he answered, “She told me it was none of my business and that I should just get my boss so that she could talk with you.”

“She what…? Fuck…” I replied with an astonished laugh. “Little Shit is growing up too fast. Where is she now?”

“Cheyenne was taker her to a booth and Cara’s getting her a Coke.”

“Perfect. I’ll head out now.” He nodded and turned to leave the room, so I called out, “Luis? Could you put in an order of waffle fries with the works on the side, please?”

“Sure thing. Do you want anything else, Boss?”

“That should be good. But… Thank you… For everything.”

As soon as I stepped out of the office, I got a couple of nods from servers to point me in the direction of my visitor. As I passed the bar, Dallas passed me a tall glass of water with a wedge of lime in it. Did I mention that I have an amazing staff? Seriously, they were the absolute best. With their help I easily found Ellie in a booth, pushing her glass of soda between her hands like it was a puck on an air hockey table.

“Hey Sweets, what’s going on?” I questioned as I slid into the booth.

She didn’t take her eyes off her glass when she answered, “I got bored at Grandma’s and hoped that I could continue my waitress training here.”

“Waitress…? Grand…? Ellie…? Sweets, how did you get here?”

“Took a cab.”

“Okay. Why were you at Grandma’s house.”

She was still staring at her soda, but I didn’t call her out on it yet because she was still talking to me. “Kenny and I are staying with her.”

“You’re…? Why? What happened…? Did something happen to your dad and Lyla?”

“I’m not really sure. I wasn’t supposed to hear it, but Dad told Grandma he could use her help with us while… umm…” She finally turned her pleading eyes up to look at me. “Please don’t get mad because I’m just quoting Dad.”

Cheyenne arrived with our order, so I thanked her before I pushed the plate closer to Ellie’s side of the table and said to her, “I promise I won’t, please continue, Sweets.”

She smiled at the plate and picked up one of the fries to dip into our signature garlic sauce. “He told Grandma he could really use her help while he figures out his shit with Lyla.”

“Shit with Lyla? What shit?” (Yeah, I’m not always the best role model, but I’m always genuine and real.)

She shrugged as she started eating the fries. “I didn’t hear anything after that. Sorry.”

I reached over to give her forearm a comforting squeeze. “Not your fault, Sweets.”

“Auntie? Can I ask you a question?” She asked after we had sat in silence eating our waffle fries for a few minutes.

“Of course, you can, Baby Girl. What’s on your mind?”

“Can…? Can I stay with you and Happy? Please?”

I stared at her for a second before I answered, “Ellie… Sweets, you know I LOVE hanging out with you, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

The look of devastation on her face broke my heart. I then slid deeper into the booth so that I could wrap her in a hug. She immediately snuggled into my embrace, so I at least knew I hadn’t made it onto her shit list yet.

“Happy got called away to do some work for the club. I don’t know what the job is yet, so I don’t know how he’ll be feeling when he gets back. I don’t want you to get caught up in the middle of our crap if things went shitty for him.”

“But you and Happy…?” She paused there so she could pull back to look me in the eye. “You two are good, right? You’re…? You’re not going to break up, are you?”

“What? No… No, we aren’t. I mean… we aren’t perfect, but we’re pretty solid so no, Sweets, he’s stuck with me.”

“Good,” she retorted with a playful smirk as she took a couple more fries of the plate. “Because I really like him.”

“You do?” I asked as my cheeks started to heat up.

“Of course, I do. He makes you really happy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this… this…” Suddenly she started laughing. And I mean like a true, full-bellied laugh. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I saw her let loose like this. Maybe when we sang songs together. But no, this was different. This was spontaneous and completely free. This was… not what I had expected this conversation to turn into. Her dad and Stepmother were suddenly separated, but she was laughing. Fuck… She most definitely was a Winston woman. Because we are well and truly fucked up.

Almost as suddenly as the giggling started, Ellis stopped. She then turned to face me and said, “Sorry. But the more I said that Happy makes you happy, it kind of… it just started sounding so silly. I’m sorry, Auntie.”

“Don’t… Ellie, don’t apologize. I… I actually totally get your train of thought because…” I threw my hand over my mouth then to stop myself from saying anything else.

She picked up on my hesitation right away and eagerly asked, “Because what? Come on, Auntie. Don’t hold out on me now.”

“You need to stop doing that,” I replied with a playful glare.

“Stop doing what?” She countered with big doe eyes.

“Jesus Christ, Ellie!” I nearly shrieked out. “Is it genetic? Or did you learn it from someone?”

That got her to blush and look a bit sheepish. “Grandma keeps asking me the same thing. But she won’t believe me when I say that I don’t know.”

“So, you came here?”

“This time.” I gave her a sad frown that made her scowl. “What…? Why the face?”

I pulled her into another hug and kissed the top of her head. “It’s your DNA. I don’t think anyone could teach us to be like this. Or to annoy the shit out of my Mom like we do.”

She hugged me back saying against my chest, “I knew you’d understand.”

We continued eating while we sat and just talked. I wasn’t sure what to do with her, but I totally understood her not wanting to spend any more time than she absolutely had to at my mom’s house. So, I tried to think of something she could do here at the restaurant to kill time until I got back. Oh yea, once I heard that shit went down between Lyla and Opie, I had totally decided that I had to get to the bottom of it.

By the time I had my plan figured out, I excused myself from the table to talk to a couple of my servers. I told them what I had planned and what I would need from them. They both offered to assist right away, so I left the restaurant to walk out to my bike while I made some phone calls. The first turned out to be the last. The call was to Lyla and she explained what had happened and why Opie’s kids were staying with Mary. I swear I couldn’t get on my bike fast enough after I finished talking with her.

I jumped off my bike so fast that it almost fell over. Luckily, Tig was standing in the lot waving at a taxi leaving the lot because he helped me catch it. We both then silently worked to get it upright. Once it was secured, I moved to run in the direction of the clubhouse without so much as a ‘Thank you’. Sorry, I was too distracted to be polite.

Tig tried to stop me by rushing to stand in front of me and grabbing my shoulders as he asked, “Andie? Baby Girl, where’s the fire?”

By this time Gemma and Bobby had started to approach us, so I directed my heated answer to Gemma, “Where the FUCK is he?”

I don’t know if it was my choice of words or the pure venom in my tone, but I managed to stun Gemma into silence. Bobby pointed towards the apartment answering, “In the apartment.”

I was already staking towards the door and that turned into a full out run when he finished his reply. I hear them rushing to catch up with me, so I made my strides longer. I grew up having to keep up with Opie and Jax, so out running Gemma and Bobby wasn’t all that difficult for me.

Once I was through the door, I move like a woman on a mission. A couple of the guys, including Dad, called out to me, but I ignored them. I wasn’t there to talk to them. There was only one person that I wanted to lay into, and I didn’t want to waste my rage on anyone else. Well, the truth is that I didn’t want to misdirect my rage at anyone else.

There was no knock at the door. I gave him no warning before I slammed the door open so hard that the knob almost put a hole in the wall.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

He looked up from the clothes he was unpacking with a dumbfounded, surprised look on his face. “Who pissed in your Corn Flakes?”

“Don’t try to be cute with me, Asshole. Answer the fucking question,” I countered with an audible sneer.

“Nothing is wrong with me. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Me? Oh… I just left your daughter at my restaurant to help fill salt and pepper shakers, ’cause she was bored at Grandma’s house. Because apparently, she and her brother are staying with Mary because their father is a colossal PRICK who fucked a whore and left their stepmother. So… Again, I ask, what the FUCK is wrong with you?”

“It isn’t like that.”

“So, Kenny and Ellie aren’t staying with Mary?”

“No… they are…”

Okay. Then… You and Lyla aren’t separated?”

“No…” He huffed out a breath and sat down on the bed. Good, now I could tower over him. Well… Not really, but at least we were closer in height now. “We are separated. I told her she could stay at the house until we figure everything out.”

“Alright… fine… That’s true… So… Then you didn’t fuck some porn star whore?”

“Shit,” he sighed out with his head in his hands.

I crossed my arms over my chest and continued to stare him down. Then I saw his shoulders start to shake softly. Damn. Was he crying? NO! Hold onto your anger. He has to explain himself and all of this bullshit.

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, but it sounded like he was trying to steady his breathing more than he was just crying. He then ran his fingers through his hair to pull it off his face. When he turned his sad eyes… NO… his tired, DEVASTATED eyes up to look at me, I could see the tracks of his tears on his cheeks.

That broke me. “Opie…” I sighed out his name with my own tears creeping into my voice.

He shook his head to stop me there. “I know it was an asshole move, but I… I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“Why?”

“Drea…” He heaved out another sigh and just shook his head.

I sat down beside him and finger combed his hair off his face. After I had it tucked behind his ear, I stroked his cheek with the back of my fingers and asked in a much more concerned, caring tone, “Please talk to me, Baby Bro. Why weren’t you thinking straight? What happened?”

“Lyla.”

That was it. He only said her name as his reply. I’m sure it made sense to him. But I was still completely in the dark. I mean, I get she might have done something, but what? What could she have done to break up their marriage?

“What…? What did she do, Opie?”

He shook his head again, but that wasn’t his reply. He wasn’t shaking his head as if to say ‘No’, it was more like he was trying to clear his head to give himself a minute to think. FUCK. This had to be bad. On the drive over I had tried to come up with a theory to explain why all of this was happening, but nothing made sense. Plus, none of my theories were so heinous that they would bring my brother to tears like this.

“Opie,” I tried again as I ran my fingers through his hair. His tears started falling again, so I pulled his head down to hug it into my chest.

“Please, Ope? We’ve always been able to tell each other everything. Please don’t shut me out now, Baby Bro. Please?”

“Okay,” he whispered after he evened out his breathing again. He then eased himself out of my embrace. I expected him to stand up, but he just held his head in both of his hands again as he let out a sigh of a breath. “You know that I’ve been trying to start a family with Lyla, right?”

“Yeah. And I’m pretty sure I keep reminding you that you always have to speak in the plural tense so that you don’t sound insane. WE’RE trying to start a family… TOGETHER…”

“Right,” he agreed as he huffed out a laugh. “I THOUGHT we were trying to start a family, but in this case, it really has just been me trying.”

I waited for him to continue, but he stopped there. I moved my hand to his back and started to rub circles on a spot between his shoulder blades. It was the spot where my tattoo would be on my back. Right now, I wanted to do anything I could to comfort him, to remind him that I ALWAYS had his back. No matter what happened between us, no matter what hurtful things we might say to each other, at the end of the day, we would always end up at a place like this. We were two sides of the same fucked up coin and we were ALWAYS there for each other. Our mother even had a sonogram photo where it looked like I was holding Opie protectively against me. She joked that she didn’t know what dangers I would need to protect him from in the womb, but that was proof to me of who I would always be: my baby brother’s protector.

“What does that mean, Opie? How was it just you?”

“We… A few of the guys and me went to the studio to ask Lyla to help us find Georgie Caruso. While I was in her dressing room, I found… found… found her bottle of… of… and…”

“Oh shit… SHIT! I get it, Ope. She’s still on the pill? I… I had no idea.”

He turned his head so that I could see his soft smile. “I wouldn’t expect you to know. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.”

“Fuck,” I cursed out softly. “What could be worse than that?”

“Lyla… She… While we were in Ireland, she… she had an abortion. She’s… She’s literally killing off any chances of us starting a family.”

“WHAT?! Are you serious?” He dropped his hands from his head to give me an incredulous look. I felt my cheeks heat up as I added, “Of course, you’re serious. Jesus Christ, I… I can’t believe I didn’t notice…” I trailed off as another thought hit me like a freight train. “Holy shit!”

Opie sat up and turned to look at me. “What? What did you just figure out?”

“Her… Lyla and Tara… Their super-secret bonding experience. How much do you want to bet it was over going to the clinic together?”

Opie didn’t look convinced as he pointed out, “But Tara didn’t have an abortion.”

“True. But Lyla didn’t get kidnapped by Hector Salazar either.”

“Holy shit,” he breathed out as he connected the dots. “That… That makes sense.”

“Of course, it does. And now so does your temporary insanity. I’m so sorry, Ope. I never thought that she would break your heart like this.”

“It’s not your fault, Sis.”

“Yes, it is. At least partially.” I stood up and placed my hands on each of his cheeks. “As your big sister, it’s my duty to be on the look out for anyone who might hurt you. I should have been paying closer attention.”

“She had us all fooled.”

“I know, but still…” I let go of his face so that I could rear my right hand back to slap him, full force, across the face. His left hand flew up to his cheek as anger replaced the hurt look in his eyes. He started to get a scary look on his face, but I didn’t pay it any attention. He would NEVER hurt me.

I then stood up tall and confidently declared, “Remember that the next time you decide to dip your dick in a disease-ridden cesspool. If you want to get back at Lyla, so be it. BUT! Don’t you EVER bring a whore like that into the mix again. You get sick, that hurts all of us. So, don’t EVER pull a stunt that again. Understood?”

Embarrassment washed over his face with a healthy side of remorse after that. Good, he wasn’t beyond hope. I then walked back up to him and kissed his forehead. “I love you, Baby Bro. Next time just go to my bar. You know I’ll always cover your tab and you can crash at my apartment or… Or I WILL kick your ass and then you will really know the meaning of pain. Understand?”

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his cheek into my stomach. “I love you too, Sis. Thank you for helping out with Ellie.”

XXXXXXXXXXXX

When I heard the front door open, I thought about calling out, but I remained silent for some reason. Instead, I wiped my hands off on my apron and walked towards the kitchen door. Once I reached the hallway, I almost ran right into Happy. He mumbled out an apology as he caught my arm so that I wouldn’t stumble and fall.

I moved in then to hug him, but he took a large step away from me saying, “I’m covered in dirt. I… I’m just making a pit stop for a shower.”

“Oh. Okay. Did…? Umm… Are you hungry?”

He stepped into the kitchen to drape his cut on the back of a chair as he answered, “I don’t have time for chicken and fries.”

That made me chuckle. He thankfully cracked a smile at my response. Good, that meant that had become our inside joke. But his smile quickly morphed into a thoughtful scowl as he stepped over to the stove and asked, “What are you cooking?”

“I figured that since I suddenly found myself with some free time that I’d make spaghetti and homemade pasta sauce for the potluck. The tomatoes just finished roasting and now I’m just putting it all together.”

“Smells delicious.”

“Thanks,” I answered as I added the rest of the fresh herbs I had just chopped to the pot. “Did you want some?”

He shook his head replying, “Maybe after I shower, I’ll… I’ll have an appetite.”

“Oh… okay.”

I continued to stir the sauce for a couple of minutes before I turned the heat down on the stove to let it simmer. The pasta in the water had boiled for a few minutes, so I turned it off completely and left it on the element to finish cooking. Now there was nothing for me to do but wait patiently.

I’m not good with being idle, so I wasn’t surprised when I found myself stepping into our walk-in shower. Happy lifted his head up from the wall to give me a surprised look, so I quietly said, “I thought you might need some help washing your back.”

He didn’t laugh at the weak joke, but I did get a half smile. Shit. This was a hard one for him. Why had I been such a jerk before he left? Well, I was definitely going to try to make it up to him. First, I really was going to wash his back and slip in a massage while I did it.

I picked up a bottle of body wash and poured it over his back. As I rubbed it over his body, I could easily feel the tension in all of his muscles, so I casually commented, “This was a hard one for you, eh?”

He kept his head bowed under the shower head as he replied, “It was Miles.”

“Miles? What…? What’d he do?”

“He stole from us.”

“What?” I questioned more out of surprise then true misunderstanding.

I stood back up to massage his shoulders again. He then turned around to let the hot water hit his back. I picked up the bodywash again and poured some more over the front of his torso. He stood there passively while I massaged it over his chest. I thought that was the end of us talking, but as I dug my fingers into his muscles, Happy actually started to relax.

“My job was to get a confession out of the thief.”

“And you did?” I made it a question because I couldn’t gauge how he was feeling right now.

He shook his head answering, “Juice caught him red-handed. And… And took care of him.”

“Oh…” I exclaimed softly when the meaning hit me. Now I knew why he might be feeling even more upset. “I’m sorry.”

He opened his eyes to look down at me where I was now kneeling in front of him. “Why are you sorry?”

“You lost a brother.”

“He was a rat. HE got what he deserved.”

The venom I heard in his voice stunned me momentarily. “Alright. Then… I’m sorry for being such a bitch before you left… I know this hasn’t been easy for you and I swear I didn’t mean to make it harder.”

“Andie…?”

I only paused my hand as it guided him into my mouth to say, “Let me make it up to you. Please?”

“You were already forgiven.”

I smiled and moved a back to say, “Le me show you MY special skills to help you relax. You’ve more than earned it.”

He almost huffed out a laugh, but that quickly turned into a moan as he felt his length enter my mouth. The hot water of the shower continued to pound against his back while he tried to shield me from it. The first time he let me go down on him in the shower we had a little mishap with the water going up my nose while I tried to breathe, and some really unsexy choking ensued. But after some maneuvering, the only thing I now choked on was his girth.

Just like he always did, he gripped my hair tightly, but he never did anything to guide the course of my mouth. He knew I knew how to get him off and that the sensation of him pulling my hair would help me with my goal to get him off at the same time as him. I moved my hands to his glutes to help me gauge how well this was working. He must have been wound super tight because I felt the muscles under my hands start to flutter quicker than I had expected.

After I had swallowed ever ounce of him down, I stood up and moved to hug him. He quickly caught my cheeks and moved my head so that he could give me a deep kiss. Fuck, he must have really needed he stress relief because we normally didn’t kiss after I went down on him. Me? I had no problem tasting myself on his lips, but I knew Happy didn’t feel the same way. Maybe that was changing.

He then hugged me into his chest and said against the crown of my head, “Thanks, I needed that.”

I leaned back then said, “Here to help. My earlier freak out, notwithstanding.”

He then picked up a washcloth and my bottle of body wash. After he had the cloth lathered up, he softly instructed, “Turn around, Princess. Let me get your back.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I stiffened in my spot for a breath when I felt two arms wrap around my waist. It was silly and I kind of felt stupid because I should have remembered that it would be Happy. I mean, who else would it be?

“Smells delicious, Princess,” he commented into my hair.

I relaxed against him then lifted a spoonful of the sauce I was heating up for him to taste. He put his chin on my shoulder to make it easier for me to feed him. It was a little awkward, but I managed not spill it down the front of me.

“Mmm… that’s as good as it smells.”

“You don’t think I put in too much garlic, do you?” I questioned as I turned my attention back to the stove.

“There’s no such thing.”

“Happy,” I countered with a playful glare.

He hugged me again saying, “Everyone will love it. Can I help with anything?”

“Can you please get some plates out? The pasta is almost done.”

He didn’t answer, he just turned away to pull the plates out of the cupboard. After I drained the water from the pasta, I poured the sauce I had heated up onto the pasta in the pot. Happy stepped away from the counter so that I could plate our meals. While I grated fresh parmesan cheese over the hot dish, he poured us a glass of red wine each. He carried the glasses into the dining room, I followed with our dinner.

We ate in silence for a couple of minutes until Happy said, “You know I realized something while I was in the shower.”

“Oh yeah?” I winked then added in a teasing voice, “That your girlfriend’s special skills exceed expectation?”

He smirked but didn’t allow himself to actually laugh. “I already knew that. No, I realized it’s really late… especially for you to be cooking.”

“Oh… That… I… I couldn’t sleep.”

He put his fork down so that he could turn his chair to make proper eye contact with me. I had my eyes on my fork that was pushing my noodles around my plate until he reached over and take a hold of my forearms.

The look of adoration on his face when I finally looked at him completely melted my heart. After all of the stories I had hear about Happy, I never dreamed that he and I would ever end up here. I never would have thought that the surly biker I wanted to beat down in the clubhouse would become my confidant and feel like he knew me better than anyone ever has. I couldn’t stop myself from leaning over to kiss him to silently thank him for all of that.

As he sat back in his seat, he let his confusion show. I tried not to laugh, but I couldn’t stop it. He always looked so cute when I had him completely perplexed.

“I know you want to know why I can’t sleep… But rest assured, I’m okay, but my brain won’t shut up and stop thinking about Opie.”

“What happened to Opie?”

I stared at him for a second because I was so surprised that he hadn’t heard about the drama that had gone down in the clubhouse. “Wow. So, you really didn’t hear about what went down either.”

“You mean that shit about Ima pulling a gun on Gemma and Tara?”

“Sort of… I’m more what happened to lead up to that.”

He shook his head again saying, “Other than him tapping some psycho porn star as Jax, I haven’t heard much else.”

I smiled softly at that explanation. Surprisingly enough, he made it all sound so simple. “Something like that, but he can totally plead temporary insanity, I swear.”

“Really?” He took a sip from his wine glass then added, “And why would you say that, Princess?”

I took a drink from my glass, but it didn’t taste right. I then stood up saying, “Just give me two minutes, I’ll be right back.”

I then ran into the kitchen and plucked out two glasses from the drying rack in the sink. I moved around the kitchen to pull a bottle of Scotch from a cupboard and tucked it under my left arm. Before I left the kitchen, I pulled out two bottles of beer from the fridge and had to close it with my hip because my hands were now full.

When I got back to the dining room, I barked out a surprised laugh. Happy knew that I had lost my appetite, so he had pushed my pasta onto his plate to eat it. Seriously, if I thought about it too much, it should freak me out sometimes how much he knew me sometimes.

I placed the two bottles of beer and one of the glasses by Happy’s side before I sat down in my seat. I poured us eat come Scotch but drank mine down before I said, “I don’t know if he’s told everyone, but Opie was trying to start a family with Lyla.”

He took a swig of beer to empty his mouth before he said, “Yeah, a lot of us figured he would to… to…”

His hesitation made me smile. “It’s alright. He was trying to get her out of porn. But he found out she wasn’t on board with that plan the worst way possible. She… he… Opie… He found birth control and morning after pills in her dressing room.”

“What? Really?”

“Really.” I downed another glassful of Scotch in one swallow then added, “I… I get injections every three months so that I don’t have to take pills… In case you were wondering why you haven’t noticed any of them laying around.”

Happy pulled the bottle of beer away from his lips without taking a drink. “I didn’t… I mean… I kind of wondered, but either way… good to know.”

“I just want to be completely upfront with you.”

“You…” He paused to reach across the table and laced the fingers of his left hand with my right. “What happened, Princess? Why do you feel like you have to make that confession?”

“That… That isn’t all that Opie found out. After Lyla found out about… about… Skankasaurus, she confessed that while you guys were in Ireland that she… she… she had an abortion.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” I replied while staring at the Scotch bottle. I then took in a deep breath and moved my eyes to his face. “If our birth control fails, I… I always thought that’s what I would do… But now I… I think I would tell you about it and let you have a say.”

“But you don’t want kids.”

“True,” I squeezed his palm against mine. “But if it happened you might, so I’d be open to discuss it. I wouldn’t want to deprive you of that if the universe decides that we should procreate.”

“Really?”

“Really. Plus, we take so many precautions that if it did happen, I might be inclined to believe it’s Divine intervention or something.”

“And that’s why you can’t sleep,” he stated in a somewhat knowing tone.

I nodded then explained (unnecessarily), “Yeah, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Opie told me and how I wanted to clear the air with you.”

“Clear the air?” He questioned before he stood up and moved to my side to kiss me. “Princess, there’s no air to clear. We’ve been on the same page on this topic. You don’t need to shoulder your brother’s burden or misdeeds. We are good.”


	9. Sun and wind won't change you

Sun And Wind Won’t Change You

***** FLASHBACK *****

When I got back to Teller Morrow Automotive, the first thing I noticed was that Opie, Chibs and Kozik hadn’t made it back yet. I knew that we were doing our pickups around the same time, but for some reason it still surprised me that I made it back here before them.

Even though helping with wedding preparations was just a cover story, I really did check out the venue once I was out there. Cody had been doing pretty much all of the planning and ordering with Gemma, so I hadn’t really been all that involved in planning my twin’s wedding. Although that turned out to be pretty great because it gave me a chance to focus on my new restaurant and all of the ‘fun’ that came with securing all of the necessary permits to do the renovations the building needed for us to open.

The spot that they had chosen was nestled among the trees away from the houses and other buildings on the reservation. Mother Nature had done most of the work to make it a beautiful spot for the wedding. Once Gemma and Cody did their finishing touches, it would be stunning. Bonus points went to them because they managed to find a clearing where the ground was pretty flat and even, so I was confident that I wouldn’t do something embarrassing like trip on a root when I was walking to my seat.

Since my brother was nowhere to be seen, I left the ‘parcel’ I had picked up for him in my truck. I had a box rolling around in the back of my truck from some electronics I had bought that I had put the ammo into to help keep up our ruse. Some might say that move was a bit overboard, but I knew how important it was that Chibs and Piney didn’t find out about what I had done, so I was willing to be a bit extreme.

Since making the delivery wasn’t going to happen, I figured I would go and check in with Gemma. The garage hadn’t been all that busy when I left, but that could have changed while I was away. But fingers crossed it hadn’t so that I could knock off early and head home. Happy never knew when he would be able to call (he used the majority of his phone time to check in with his mom), but I always tried to be home during the possible window, just in case.

So far, luck had been on my side when it came to me and Happy, so the outlook for my future luck holding out seemed pretty good. But my bubble burst the second that I stepped into Gemma’s office. FUCK! Why didn’t I stop while I was ahead?

“Where the hell have you been?”

I stopped short asking, “I beg your pardon?”

Tara stood up from behind the desk and waddled (yeah it sounds cruel, but it was true. She was so pregnant that you really couldn’t say that she was walking. But don’t worry, I’m not a heartless bitch, I would NEVER say anything like to her face… or out loud.) to get closer to me. I’m sure she was trying to be intimidating, but it really wasn’t working on me.

“I asked you where the hell have you been? We needed you here in the garage. That’s the reason Gemma called and asked you to come in today.”

I opened my mouth to give her a snarky reply, but I forced myself to swallow it. Just a few days ago, Opie had reminded me how ornery and bitchy Donna had been when she was pregnant with Ellie. There had been days when Opie and I had hidden out at the MC’s clubhouse to keep from becoming the object of her wrath. And… Right now, I was trying my best to give Tara the same consideration. By that I meant that I avoided being alone in a room with her as much as humanly possible.

I then replied as calmly as I could, “And I have been here, working on as many cars that I could.”

“Right. Then you decided to go for a two-hour lunch?”

“What? No, I didn’t!”

She put her hands on her hips and started to tap her foot to mirror how annoyed she had become. “Okay. So, I’ll ask you yet again… Where they HELL have you been?”

“I was running an errand for Opie.”

“An errand…? We aren’t paying you to do errands for your brother.”

“YOU aren’t fucking paying me at all,” I spat out with a confident and annoyed bite.

By the look that comment put on Tara’s face, you would have thought that I had reared back to land a full forced slap across her face. SHIT! She wasn’t supposed to cry. I mean, if she was going to dish it out…

_SHIT! Hormones, Andie! She isn’t control of her emotions! DAMMIT! This was so NOT a fair fight. FUCK!_

“Well… I-if th-that’s… that’s the w-w-way you f-f-feel…” she tried to reply through her now cascading tears and hiccupping sobs.

My face dropped and I couldn’t really find my voice, so I ended up whispering my reply, “Tara… I… I…”

And that was the moment that I became well and truly fucked. As I took a step forward to apologize to her, Gemma stepped into the office from the door to the garage. Of course, the first thing she saw was her visibly distraught, pregnant, soon to be daughter in law with tears pour down her cheeks. No words were exchanged between the two women before Gemma rushed towards Tara to wrap her in a fierce, comforting hug. Gemma stroked Tara’s hair while she tried to calm her down but being in Gemma’s arms seemed to have the opposite effect. As soon as she was nestled in Gemma’s embrace, Tara’s tears seemed to fall faster, harder and louder.

While Gemma was doing her best to calm Tara down, she looked up to survey the room. I, of course, made the mistake of standing in her line of sight while she tried to find the origin of Tara’s distress. SHIT!

“What did you do?” Gemma practically spat out at me.

“Nothing!” I answered a little too quickly to sound totally convincing and sincere.

Gemma levelled me with a glare that made everyone cringe in a way that only she could while she hugged a still crying Tara more tightly into her chest, “ANDREA… What did you do?”

I know my eyes went wide with shock even though I tried my hardest not to react. I must have looked terrified because I know I felt completely petrified. Seriously, I had NEVER been on the receiving end of Gemma’s anger… EVER. (A time or two I was the reason someone else received her withering glare, but I never expected to be on this side of it)

“I… I… I was j-j-just…just defending myself.”

“Defending yourself from Tara? Come on, Andrea. Why would you have to do something like that?”

_FUCK! Two Andreas in one conversation? _THAT was yet another thing that had never happened. How could I fix this? How did anyone get Gemma not to hate them? HAD anyone ever succeeded in redeeming themselves in her eyes? SHIT!

I opened my mouth to make another attempt to mount some sort of defense, but Gemma beat me to the punch. She continued to glare at me with and intensity I didn’t think any human could maintain for so long as she added, “You should go now.”

“Gemma…” I finally protested through the sob that wanted to take me over.

“NOW, Andrea,” she continued over the rest of my words. “I’ll call you if we need anything else from you.’

I opened my mouth again, but this time Gemma’s steely glare kept me silent. I then backed out of the office, tripping on my feet and the door jamb as I retreated. Gemma then turned her full attention to Tara and making sure that she was comforting her.

***** END FLASHBACK *****

But that call never came. Opie and Dad had kept me p to date about the guys when I couldn’t connect with Happy. If they ever asked me about my lack of attendance at TM, I just told them that I was focusing on my restaurant. Luckily, it wasn’t a complete lie or else I would have felt a hell of a lot more guilty I said it to them.

“Andie?” Rita Roosevelt called out as she pulled my attention away from the table where Gemma and Tara were currently seated at Rita’s fundraiser. “I… I can’t thank you enough for everything. The food… the kegs… the soda… your latest donation… I honestly am overwhelmed by your generosity.”

When my eyes met Rita’s, I finally smiled more easily. “No thanks required, Rita. I keep telling you I’m more than happy to help. I LOVE these gardens. Plus, I owe you for helping me start my garden at home.”

She smiled then asked, “And how is it doing? I’ve assumed it’s been doing well since I haven’t seen you back at my shop lately.”

“Your tips were amazing and it’s doing better than I could have ever dreamed. In fact… My pasta sauce is 99% from my garden. The salt and pepper came from the grocery store.”

“Really? That’s great to hear.” She paused to look over her shoulder then said, “Thank you again for everything, Andie. I really appreciate your help today, but I should let you go be with your friends.”

“Oh… I…” She started to walk away, so I finished to myself, “Thanks a lot, Rita…” I then noticed that Tig and Chucky were now watching me, so I grumbled pretty much inaudibly, “Fuck my life.”

I made up four bowls of spaghetti and sauce and then made my way to their table. I felt like it was a brilliant plan. If they rejected the food, then they would like the snobbish jerks. If they accepted the food, then they would be too busy eating to yell at me.

I cautiously approached the table saying, “Thank you all for coming out to support the cause tonight. If you’re hungry, I have spaghetti with homemade tomato sauce from home grown ingredients.”

“Homegrown?” Gemma asked as she claimed one of the bowls. “By you?”

I nodded as I watched Chucky and Tig started eating the food I had put down for them. They seemed to be enjoying it, so I quietly answered, “Yes, Ma’am.”

“Andie…” She reached out to grip my arm, but I stepped away so that she couldn’t touch me. I swear she actually looked sad for the briefest of moments before she her turned her attention to scooping up a forkful of noodles to eat them. As she chewed her food, she gave me wide eyes and asked, “Andie, you made this?”

“It’s Luis’ recipe,” I replied in an almost defensive tone.

“Does that mean it will be added to your menu?” Tig asked.

I smiled warmly at him then answered, “After the reception it’s received today, I think I’m going to have to insist it be added.”

“You should,” Chucky piped up as he finished his dish. “This is really good.”

“Thanks, Chucky, I’m glad you enjoyed it. Well… I should leave you all to enjoy the event. Thanks again for coming out.”

“Andie!” I paused after I had turned my back on the table to walk away. Before I could turn around, I felt an arm wrap around my shoulder. “Sweetheart. That dish is beyond amazing, just like the menu at your restaurant. I am so proud of you and the businesses you’ve built, Baby Girl.”

“Really?” I asked as I turned into Gemma’s arms to hug her. “I thought that you had written me off months ago.”

“Written…? Never, Baby Girl. I could NEVER write you off, EVER.” She hugged me tightly then whispered. “You are amazing and I am so proud of all of your accomplishments.”

“Really?” I asked as I hugged her back. “Thanks, Mom.”

She continued to hug me then quietly asked, “Now will you come sit with us for a couple of minutes? Chucky misses you.”

I smiled sheepishly then answered, “Sure… why not?”

I walked over to the picnic table with Gemma’s arm wrapped around my shoulders. When she tried to lead me to the seat between her and Tig, I ducked out from under her arm to move over to Chucky’s side. Before anyone could question what I was doing, I leaned down to give Chucky a hug.

While I still held him in a tight embrace, I whispered, “I’ve missed you too.” I stood up straight then added in a louder voice, “I’m sorry I haven’t had time to be at TM, but…”

“Your restaurant needed your attention,” Chucky finished for me. “I accept that. Plus, it’s our favorite place to order from now.”

“It…? It is?”

Tig pulled my arm until I sat down on the bench to his left. He quickly wrapped an arm around my shoulders and nearly choked me as he hugged me into his side.

“Your place has the best food with the best delivery times in all of Charming,” Tig praised before he kissed my hair and hugged me close.

I wrapped an arm around his waist replying, “You’re gonna make me blush, Tiggy.”

“But it’s the truth,” Chucky chimed in.

I opened my mouth to reply but was silenced when I heard, “Thank you so much for being part of the committee.”

“My pleasure,” Tara replied as she shook Rita’s hand.

What the fuck? Since when did Tara give a shit about the gardens? I had very personal reasons for donating nearly thirty thousand dollars in cash and refreshments to this event. But Tara? What the hell?

“You didn’t know you were on the committee, did you?” Tig asked with an audible chuckle.

Tara shook her head answering, “No.”

Tig started laughing so hard that he almost didn’t notice that he was choking me. Okay, no… He totally didn’t notice until I started tugging on his arm. He finally let up when I dug my nails into his forearm.

“Sorry, Beautiful.” He then maneuvered us so that we were straddling the bench and I was leaning, more comfortably, with my back against his chest. “So, tell me, Little One… Why are these gardens so important to you, Andie?”

“Oh… me? Well…” I settled further into his embrace and hugged Tig’s arms around my waist. “This was always a refuge for me growing up. Some of my… I… uhh… I… I have some really great memories here.”

“Really great memories?” Tig teased. “Please explain that, Beautiful.”

“Well… I brought Ty Barnette here and he… we…”

Tig lowered his lips to my ears to quietly ask, “You popped your cherry here?”

I nodded hen turned in his arms to hug him close. “No one else knows that. This place… it’s always been MY place…” I kissed his cheek then sat back to look him in the eye. “I wanted my first to be somewhere special and I want other girls to have that same chance. Because this is the most beautiful spot in Charming.”

“No, it isn’t,” Tig whispered as he pulled me into another hug. Before I could protest, he squeezed my torso then whispered, “Your heart is, Andie.”

I tried not to laugh as I hugged him replying, “You’re too sweet.” I then thumped him on the back then kissed his cheek. “But I mean a real place, not your metaphorical bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit, Andie. Your amazing heart shines through when you help with things like this. You’re a beautiful soul.”

“Thanks, Tig. And so are you. Thank you so much for being here when no one else from the club could bother.” His eyes went wide in surprise, but I held my hand up to keep him silent. “It’s okay. I get that the things that I find important aren’t to… the club. That’s fine. I just… I just… It would be so much easier if everyone was honest about it and didn’t make empty promises.”

“Andie…” Tig tried to protest.

That’s when Chucky sat up in his spot and said, “Happy couldn’t be here even though he really wanted to be here.”

I eased myself away from Tig so that I could move over to Chucky’s side. I tilted his face up with a gentle hand on his chin as I asked, “Will you please explain that to me, Chucky? Please?”

He nodded then quietly answered, “The clubhouse got shot up. Phil took down one of the shooters, so Happy is trying to make him talk.”

“Shooters?” I questioned softly, turning my gaze towards Tig. He nodded causing me to tearfully ask, “The Cartel?””

“Lobos Sonora,” Chucky answered.

I frowned then asked both of them, “Did…? Did anyone get hurt?”

“No one from SAMCRO,” Tig answered in a very firm tone.

“Thank God,” I sighed out. 

I stood there trying to hold back my tears, so Tig stood up and wrapped me in a hug saying, “We’re whole, Baby Girl. Opie included.”

I sniffled in a breath and pulled back to ask him something else, but I then noticed that Rita was calling everyone together. I swiped an arm over my eyes then under my nose. “Good to hear… But it looks like Clay has something to say to us.”

While Tig, Chucky and Tara moved towards the stage, I waved Tig off saying, “I just need to make a quick call.”

“Alright.” He kissed my cheek then added, “Say ‘hi’ to Happy for me.”

But Happy didn’t answer his phone. Neither did Opie. Dad ignored both his cell and the landline at the cabin. After Chucky told me that Dad was up at the cabin, I started to formulate a new plan of action while I made my calls.

As I hurried towards my truck, I tried Happy’s cell again. I didn’t expect him to answer, so it was no surprise when it rolled over to his voicemail again. But this time I left him a message. “Hey, Grumpy… Chucky spilled the beans about what you’re doing. I hope you get that asshole to talk. But either way, I… I probably won’t be at home when you get back. I want… No, I need to go and check on my dad. If he’s going to drink himself to death, I want to make sure he does it on the good stuff at the very least. Take care and I’ll see you soon.”

I packed a bag of clothes and added in a few bottles of specialty tequila I hadn’t shared with Dad yet. I also threw in a couple of bottles of well-aged Scotch too. Hey, I wasn’t going to just sit and watch my dad drink. But tequila plus me? BAD combination. I ditched my Yukon at the house and rode my bike up to the cabin. I wasn’t worried about getting there safely because I had ridden up there so many times that I could almost do it blindfolded.

I parked my bike at the back of he cabin before I unpacked my bags and walked to the front door. I knocked on the door as I opened it and called out, “Daddy? Dad! It’s me…”

“Short Stack?” He questioned as he pulled the door open wider for me. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to check on you and…” I placed my two bags on the floor so that I could pull out two of the three bottles of tequila. “And… I wanted to bring you a couple of bottles.”

He claimed the bottles from me to scrutinize their labels. When he was done, he turned to me and said, “You know where your room is. I’ll get the cards out.”

“Really? Thanks, Daddy!”

I hurried down the hall to the sound of Dad’s chuckling. It had been a while since we had spent time here together, but I remembered the cabin well. The fact that Dad was ready to welcome me here with open arms meant the world to me and I was better than good to ride that wave.

When I returned to the living room, Dad was still shuffling the deck of cards. I made sure his glass was filled before I sat down and filled my own with Scotch. He watched me with an amused smile on his face. He continued to deal a hand while I watched and sipped from my glass.

“Usual Rummy rules,” Dad explained when he finished dealing our hands.

“Really? You are SO going down!”

“You wish, Short Stack.”

“Oooh… put your tequila where your mouth is!”

He let out a loud laugh at that. I chuckled heartily when I watched him actually follow that order. Okay, so maybe he was just taking a drink, but the timing was perfect.

Actually, the whole night was pretty perfect. Dad and I drank, A LOT, played cards and reminisced about old times. Dad surprised me with how much he remembered about my youth because I didn’t know he had been paying that close of attention. Turns out he actually knew about a couple of the guys I dated in high school. I guess I wasn’t as stealthy as I thought I had been back then.

“Short Stack?” Dad called out again.

I didn’t open my eyes until I felt him pat me on the back. I blinked a couple of times, but my vision remained pretty blurry when I asked, “Yes, Daddy?”

He chuckled then helped me out of my seat saying, “I think you’re ready to call it a night. Come on, Sweetheart.”

“But I’m not done kicking your butt…”

“You can try again tomorrow,” he replied with an audible chuckle.

He then helped me out of my seat and then down the hall to bed. I practically collapsed once I saw the bed and he even tucked me in. I almost drifted back to sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Dad stroking my hair gently helped with that feat.

Before he left the room, Dad leaned down to kiss my head and quietly said, “I love you, Andie.”

I kept my eyes closed but made sure to call out, “Love you too, Daddy.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I was jostled out of my dreamless sleep by a very loud BANG. I swear it sounded like someone had broken the door down with a battering ram or something. Was someone breaking into the cabin? Or trying to demolish it completely?

Getting out of bed wasn’t very graceful, not that anyone was in the room to critique me or my landing. Once I was back on my feet, I stumbled out of the room into the hall. I had to use the wall to help me stay upright as I slowly made my way towards the living room. At least the room wasn’t spinning anymore, so I didn’t think I was going to hurl right here in the hallway.

“Daddy…? Dad…?”

**THUMP!**


	10. You'll escape the hands of time

You’ll Escape The Hands Of Time

When I woke up, I had a splitting headache. That wasn’t really all that surprising given the amount of alcohol I had consumed. But the tacky blood on the back of my head was definitely bewildering. It was also the reason I was slow and extra cautious when I stood up. I was subconsciously worried that if I moved too fast that I would get hit with an overwhelming urge to vomit.

I probably should have been more concerned about the blood on the back of my head and how I got that wound. For some reason my mind never focused on the fact that someone who had already knocked me out once could have still been inside the cabin. I’m not sure why that happened. Maybe that concern was too abstract. Or maybe it was that weird phenomenon where you woke up obsessed with the last thought that was on your mind when you blacked out.

Whatever the real reason, I suddenly found myself in a near panic while I looked for my dad. I was moving as quickly as my head would allow me, which really wasn’t all that fast at all. I was once again using the wall as a crutch as I made my way to the living room. When I made it to the doorway of the large room, my knees nearly buckled, and I almost collapsed when they tried to give out on me.

“Daddy?” I questioned as I feel to my knees beside him. Okay, really, I just gave in and let myself collapse, but that’s just semantics. “Daddy? DAD! Wake up! Dad, wake up!”

That’s when I noticed the blood on his face. I picked up his head and placed it on my lap while I tried to clean the drying blood under his nose with the bottom of my shirt. I know it’s ridiculous, but it seemed really important to me that I got him cleaned up the best that I could right then.

“Dad, what happened?” I asked expecting him to wake up and answer me. “Who did this to us? Shh… Don’t worry, I’ll get you some help.”

I crawled over to the table with the landline phone on it. After I picked up the receiver, I immediately noticed that I couldn’t hear any sound coming from it. I tapped rapidly on the buttons to hang up the line hoping to get a dial tone, but I still heard nothing but the faint hum of ringing in my ears. I moved up to my knees to look for Dad’s cell phone, but it was nowhere to be seen. When I used the table to help me stand up, my toe hit something hard. I leaned down to pick it up and realized that it was Dad’s phone. Or rater what was left of it because it looked like someone had stomped on it with a booted foot. (Yes, I had seen a few phones the guys had stomped on as a punishment when I was younger.)

“Shit. Hang on, Dad. I’ll go get help. Just hang tight, I shouldn’t be long.”

I grabbed my hoody from the back of the chair I had been sitting on the night before. I didn’t look for my keys because there was no way I would be able to keep my bike upright when I was feeling like this. Dad had an old Junker he kept up here in case he wasn’t able to ride his bike to get somewhere like driving his five year old daughter to the hospital when she fell off the roof in a game of hide and go seek that ended with me breaking my leg. Opie felt so guilty that he became my personal valet until the cast came off. Mom was so unimpressed when she picked us up that she didn’t speak to or about Dad for nearly three months. It was also the car that Opie, Jax and I had used to learn how to drive. Dad and Clay had a running joke about who put what dent where and how they were done. It REALLY sucked when Opie and Jax joined in the chorus because I had NEVER even scratched that stupid thing, let alone dented it… But enough about that.

After I slipped in behind the wheel, I pulled the glove box open to pluck out the keys. I couldn’t really remember where the closest hospital or police station was located, but I was confident that once I was on the highway, I could just follow the signs until I found one. Sounds really simple in theory, not so much in practice.

As I embarked on my search, my vision started to blur. I don’t know if it was the alcohol my body was still metabolizing or if I now was feeling the effects of the concussion from the blow I took to the back of the head was to blame. I tried to just ignore it, but my body had different plans.

I tried my best to keep the car in my lane, but my vision started to fail me completely. At first, I was seeing the road through blurred vision but that thankfully cleared up… Temporarily. As son as my vision became clearer, it immediately started to narrow. It was like driving through a narrow tunnel, but as I continued down the road, that tunnel vision began to close up even more until finally I saw nothing but pure blackness.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Ma’am? Ma’am? Are you okay?” The motorist that came across the old Buick Continental that had “plowed into a tree on the side of the highway reached inside to check the vitals of the driver. Before he could reach a pulse point, he felt a couple of soft breaths against his skin. After saying a quick, silent prayer of thanks, he turned towards his own vehicle to call out, “Reagan! Call 911! We need an ambulance!”

The young girl sitting in the pickup truck didn’t question her dad, she just pulled out her cell phone and dialed 911.

“911… What’s your emergency?”

“There’s been an accident. My dad says she needs an ambulance.”

“She?”

“Sorry. The driver of the car. I don’t know her injuries, but her car’s all smashed up and it looks really bad.”

“How many cars are involved?”

“Just one. It looks like she lost control and hit a tree.”

“Do you know how many patients there are?”

Reagan watched her dad for a couple of seconds before she answered, “I think just one. My dad hasn’t moved from the driver’s window, so I think she’s the only one in the car. But… But I don’t know for sure.”

“That’s okay, Sweetheart. You’re doing great. Now… Can you tell me where you are?”

Reagan’s father is an avid hunter who had taught her the importance of being observant. He would quiz her about everything from the vehicle driving behind them to the exit they had just passed when they were driving on the highway. She always thought they were just fun games to help keep them awake when her baseball games went into extra innings, but now she was starting to understand their true meaning and it all made more sense to her.

Her dad only returned to the truck when he saw the emergency lights approaching from far off in the distance. “How are you holding up, Champ?”

“I’m okay Dad. How’s…? Is…?”

He hugged his daughter answering, “She’s in rough shape. But hopefully the paramedics and doctors can help her once she gets to a hospital.”

As the emergency vehicles approached, he moved to the side of the road to flag them down. The firefighters were the first ones on scene to assess the situation. They ensured that the car was safe for the paramedics to work. Not far behind them was the California Highway Patrol. They took the good Samaritan’s attention from the driver being pulled from the vehicle to have their questions about what he knew about the accident answered.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t much to be learned from the father and daughter, so they were quickly sent on their way. The highway patrolmen then turned their full attention to the vehicle itself. The driver had no purse or wallet that anyone could see, so right now she was simply known as ‘Jane Doe’. The glovebox was empty and a thorough search of the car yielded no registration or personal papers of any sort. To add to their frustration, there were no license plates or insurance tags on the vehicle either.

They then started looking for a VIN number, but that search was just as fruitless as their previous ones. The one that was usually visible through the windshield was so rusted that it just looked like a worn-out piece of metal. There was usually a decal on the driver’s door, but it had completely disappeared. In the majority of the officers’ opinion, it looked like they had just disintegrated over time from the car being neglected. None of them thought that they had been removed deliberately.

The hope was that once it was towed to a Forensic storage garage with better lighting that they would find something helpful. If nothing else, they could make sure that they had recorded the proper description of the vehicle in their report and database in case this car was reported stolen or was revealed to be associated to a missing person’s case.

In that same vein, an officer followed the ambulance to the hospital to see if the patient could yield any clues. It’s amazing the things people could tell you without saying a word. For this Jane Doe, it was her tattoos that they hoped would be the biggest and most helpful clues. There aren’t many people who would go out and get the Anarchist symbol tattooed on them. Well, not many law-abiding citizens that is. So, they focused on the tattoo on her back to commence their new search. But just like every other avenue of investigation, it yielded zero results. They then added the crow tattoo on her inner left forearm to the search engine, but that wasn’t any help. They then made sure to take pictures of both in case they had to be used in a press release. Although, they were really hoping that it wouldn’t come down to that.

The patient was rushed into surgery because a CT scan showed bleeding and swelling in her brain. The car accident was quite severe and treacherous, but it didn’t appear to the cause of the trauma to her head. The compound fracture of her left forearm, yes, but the head wound didn’t mesh. The majority of the trauma was to the back of her skull and looked like it was the result of a blow with a blunt object. It didn’t take a Forensics’ expert to deduce that a head on collision with a tree would cause damage to the forehead, not what they were seeing now.

Not that the doctors were focused on that fact. All they were concerned with was stopping the bleeding and swelling on their patient’s brain. The surgery went relatively well. They found the problem easily on the CT scans, so they knew where to focus their efforts, but surgery on an unconscious patient was always tricky. There were a couple of times during the operation that her breathing became so shallow and her heart rate slowed to the point that she almost flat-lined.

ALMOST.

By the time they were stapling the suture wound closed, her vitals had vastly improved. They all hoped that after the usual waiting period that she would wake up and be able to answer all of their lingering questions. Sure, that was an overly optimistic view, but in their line of work it didn’t hurt to hold onto some hope every once in a while.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Every member of SAMCRO standing around the bar in the clubhouse looked beaten. Some physically, but all of them emotionally and spiritually. They lifted a shot glass in memory of Kozik (who had stepped on a land mine and perished earlier that day) and to Luanne. They finally had the truth about her murder.

As they all fell into their own thoughts, Opie moved closer to Happy’s side to quietly ask, “Hey? Have you talked with Drea recently?”

Happy shook his head. “No. But… She left me a message saying that she was going to spend some time with your dad at the cabin. She warned me that alcohol induced comas were expected and cell service could be spotty, so I haven’t tried getting a hold of her. Why? Is something wrong?”

Opie chuckled and shook his head. “No, now that you’ve reminded me, she… She’s probably sleeping off another visit with Johnnie Walker.”

Happy smirked then gave Opie a pointed look. That caused the younger man to bark out a laugh and say, “I guess it just hit me that Drea and I haven’t gone this long without at least a short phone call since I got out.”

The look on Happy’s face softened before he asked, “So that makes you worry about her?”

“No,” Opie replied with another shake of the head. “I guess… I… I just miss her. I forgot how much she helps to ground me.”

Happy passed Opie another shot of tequila then raised his own in a toast replying, “I hear that, Brother.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When I woke up the room was too bright and smelled so sterile I could gag. My eyes slammed shut, which seemed to amuse the person who was adjusting the position of the oversized needle in my arm.

“I’ll dim the light for you,” she offered as I heard her step away.

She walked around the room, but all that I could hear were her footsteps. That was until I heard the sound of the curtains being closed tight. I guess she wasn’t just dimming the overhead lights. That… that was nice of her.

“Alright, Ms. Doe, it should be more comfortable for you to open your eyes.”

“That’s not my name,” I snapped out as my eyes flew open.

She held up her hands in a sign of surrender then said, “I’m sorry. We couldn’t find any ID and… well… What is your name?”

“It’s… I’m…” I stopped then thought about it for a second. “My name is… uh… I’m… I… I don’t… don’t…”

Before I could totally break down, the nurse moved to my side to try to calm me down. She gripped my shoulder to force me to make very direct eye contact until my breathing finally started to even out.

“After everything you’ve been through, it isn’t a total surprise. I’ll go get your doctor… He’ll be able to explain everything better than I can. Try to drink some water… Slowly. I’ll be right back.”

While I waited, I took a long drink through the straw in my plastic cup. Almost immediately I started to choke on it and coughed until nearly all of it ended up on the front of my hospital gown. Fuck. She said slowly. I guess that mean smaller sips.

The nurse returned with the doctor and looked like she was trying not to laugh. Great. I guess that meant that I wasn’t the only idiot to do something that stupid. And she came back prepared. Before I could say or do anything, she draped a thick towel over my chest.

“Slowly means small sips. I’ll get you another glass,” she commented before she turned to leave the room.

That’s when I finally noticed the man standing at the foot of the hospital bed. He kept his eyes on what I figured was my chart as he said, “Ms. Doe…”

“That’s not my name,” I interrupted with an annoyed bite.

That got him to look up from the paperwork to respond, “No, it isn’t, but you haven’t been able to tell us anything to the contrary. So? Would you like to enlighten to me now?”

“My name’s… It’s…” I scowled and took in a deep breath before I answered, “Andie… Andie Griffin.”

“Andy Griffith? Like that old TV show?” The nurse asked as she carried a fresh glass of water to me.

I shook my head then said, “No. But… But I think that’s a running joke.”

“Griffin? That’s your family name?” The doctor asked.

Again, I shook my head as I answered, “No… I mean… I don’t think so. But… But, I… I don’t know.”

“Miss Andie, that’s okay,” the doctor replied with a soft smile on his face. “That’s more than I expected after everything you’ve been through. It’s also very encouraging progress.”

He then went on to explain how I ended up in the hospital. I was in a car accident, but the head injury didn’t appear to be a result of that. Rather, the accident seemed to have been caused by the head injury. It was so severe that they had to do emergency surgery to save me and my brain. Okay, he didn’t say it like that, but that’s how I understood it. I unconsciously moved my hand to the back of my head to touch the staples to confirm everything that he was saying to me.

“We had to shave it for the surgery,” he explained unnecessarily.

I just shrugged then said, “It’s just hair. It’ll grow back.”

I swear that almost coaxed a laugh out of him. “That’s very true. Alright, you should rest. I believe the police will want to talk with you now that you’re awake. Hopefully we’ll be able to fill in some blanks now that you’re awake and have given us your name.”

“Okay. But… I don’t really remember anything.”

“That’s alright. Don’t try to force it. If you don’t know an answer, that’s fine. All we need right now is honesty.”

“Okay,” I answered. “Can I ask a question?”

The doctor froze mid-step to turn to face me. “Of course. Please, ask your question, Miss Andie.”

“Is there any chance someone can shave the rest of my head? I haven’t looked in a mirror, but I have a feeling that a reverse mullet isn’t my style.”

Wow. I think I turned into a comedian. The doctor and nurse laughed then she answered, “That can definitely be arranged.”


	11. And now your beauty won't betray you

And Now Your Beauty Won’t Betray You

“Here you go, Miss Andie,” Nurse Kate announced as she passed me a handheld mirror.

I stared at my reflection and ran my hand over my freshly shaved head. I swear I had an out of body experience or something because I so didn’t recognize myself. It wasn’t just my hair, or lack thereof, it was the fading bruises under my eyes and the sickly pale, ash white color of my skin.

“You… you actually look pretty good bald. That’s not something every woman can say, Miss…”

“Andie. Just Andie. No, Miss. And this… I… I don’t think this is the first time I’ve done this,” I interrupted with my eyes still fixated on my reflection.

“If I had your bone structure, I probably would have tried it out too.” She chuckled softly when she noticed how my eyes darted from the mirror to look up at her. She then gently pulled the mirror out of my hands while saying, “A psychologist is supposed to be coming by here soon. Is there anything I can get you?”

I checked the small jug beside my bed and shook my head when I noticed that it was still practically full. “No, I think I have everything I need.”

“Alright, Andie.” She stroked my head a couple of times then said, “You should try to get some rest before he gets here.”

I nodded then moved further down the bed to lay down. I knew there was little to no chance that I would actually fall asleep, but there wasn’t much else to do but try. Plus, I still found the room too bright, so laying down with my eyes closed was more comfortable than pretending to watch TV anyways.

When the psychologist finally arrived, it was mostly to teach me different techniques and exercises to try to help me regain my memories. He kept stressing that I shouldn’t try to force it because it was common for victims of brutal assaults to suffer some level of amnesia. Yeah, between the police and the doctors, they had come to the conclusion that someone had hit me over the head with something heavy like a baseball bat. So, now I was being treated like a victim of a domestic assault and any little detail I remembered was being recorded, even though most of what I remembered had nothing to do with my actual assault.

Since I had been unconscious for more than a couple of days, the doctors wanted me to stay in the hospital so that they could monitor my progress. They didn’t sound like they were concerned with any complications because of the emergency surgery. It was more that I had a traumatic brain injury and they would be unpredictable.

If I still wasn’t able to remember any personal details to have a family member care for me, they would have a social worker help arrange something for me. Since I was right-handed, I wasn’t too worried about being able to take care of myself while I had a cast on my left arm. The only problem was that I had nowhere to do that. Well, we were all pretty sure that I did have a home, but I still didn’t know where it could be.

After a couple of days, they started letting me go outside to walk in a park by the hospital. While I was out, I started to remember small flashes about my real life. I think I lived with someone… or at least that’s the nagging feeling I kept having while I was walking. Shit, he must be going crazy right now. I knew that I had no real reason to feel guilty, but it happened anyways. Whoever he was, he had to be worries that I hadn’t made it home or gotten into contact with him. But then again, the police hadn’t come back to follow up on any missing person’s reports either. Maybe that meant that there was no one around who missed me.

Fuck. Isn’t that a depressing thought?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I was sitting in the psychologist’s office at the hospital listening to him talk about… Shit… I don’t even know. My attention had started to wander when a photo behind him had captured my attention. It was of a fishing trip he had done with his son… Or at least I assumed it was his son because I never actually asked the doctor about it.

“I remember something,” I blurted out.

For a split second the doctor looked perturbed. I must have interrupted him during a good part of his story or something. But he got over it quickly to ask in a very professional tone, “And what is it that you remember, Andie?”

“My full name is Andrea Griffin Winston and… And I’m dating the Deputy Chief of the Charming Police Department. David talks a lot about taking me to his favorite fishing spot when everything starts to settle at my new business.”

His eyes widened before he asked in the same polite, professional tone that he always used when we were in a session, “That’s very good to hear. Do you remember your boyfriend’s full name?”

“No… I mean… Yeah… Yes. Hale, David Hale. We’ve known each other since high school.>’

“That’s very good. Do you remember anything about your business?”

“I…” I stopped and tried to think, but he quickly interrupted me saying, “That’s alright, Andie. You’ve made some great progress today. Like I’ve said before, don’t try to force anything right now.”

I nodded replying, “Okay. So? Do you think someone can call him and tell him where I am? He must be worried sick.”

“Of course, we can, Ms. Winston. I’ll make sure we get word to Deputy Gomez as soon as possible. I’m sure that your boyfriend being in law enforcement will make it easier for them to contact him. Now, what do you remember about your family? Anything about your blood relations?”

I gave myself a moment to really consider his words before I answered, “I… I have a brother… My twin. The tattoo on my back… We got those as a grad presents for each other… He has a matching one.”

“Really? So, I take it that means you two are close.”

“We used to be inseparable, but… umm… we still talk a lot but we… we aren’t quite as close as we used to be.”

He got a thoughtful look on his face and asked, “And why is that?”

“we grew up,” I answered with a practiced ease. “He has a wife and kids now, so our relationship had to evolve too.”

“That makes sense. And his wife and kids? Do you get along with them?”

“They’re the best. Donna is… I mean… she was the most amazing mom. She… She really was the absolute best with Kenny and Ellie.”

“Was? You changed tenses. May I ask why you did that?”

He passed me a tissue so that I could dry the tears that had started to spill down my cheeks and blow my nose. “I’m still getting used to talking about her in the past tense. She… she was murdered… in… a drive-by shooting. I’ve been spending a lot of time with my niece and nephew to help them deal with everything.”

“But not your brother?”

“Yeah… well… We talk on the phone almost every day, but for some reason our paths just haven’t crossed. I guess it doesn’t feel the same because our talks have been exclusively over the phone.”

“That’s understandable. What about your parents? Do…?” He abruptly cut himself off when I barked out an unhappy laugh. He levelled me with a look until I finally fell silent. “I take it that means you remember something about your parents?”

“I do. My father and I aren’t on speaking terms right now. My mom… well… Let’s put it this way… At least my father has always been upfront about his disdain for me. I keep thinking Mom and I will be able to have a relationship but then… well… she always gives me a reminder about why I shouldn’t bother.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. What about your boyfriend? What does your family…? What…? What does that look mean?”

“They don’t know about him.”

“Oh… So…?”

“No, it’s not… It’s just…” I jumped in. “I’ve never told my family about any of the guys that I’ve been dating. I’m not hiding just David from them.”

“Really? Because that sounds more like a justification to me.”

I smiled then shook my head. “I really can’t keep him all that hidden. We grew up together, so he already knows my family and they know of him.”

“But not as your boyfriend?”

“No, not as my boyfriend. Well… not yet.”

“Yet?” He sat up and added, “Does that mean that you have really thought about telling them about this relationship?”

I nodded answering, “We’ve been getting kind of serious, so it just feels right. But we haven’t figured out a day that will work to come clean to everyone. I swear it isn’t a cop out, it’s just been a really busy time for all of us.”

“That’s understandable. Now, if it came down to it and we HAD to contact someone from your family, who…?

“Opie,” I answered over the rest of his question. “My twin brother is who you should call if you can’t get a hold of anyone else.”

“Andie and Opie?” He asked with a soft chuckle.

I couldn’t help but let out a soft groan. “I know, right? And people wonder why I have trust issues, especially with my family.”

“That’s one way to look at it, Ms. Winston.” And that has been some really great progress today. Don’t forget to keep a journal of any new memories or dreams until our next session.”

“Okay, I will, but…? Umm… Do you think I’ll get to go home soon?”

His smile widened into the first genuine one of the day. “The sooner we get a hold of someone from your family, the sooner we can get you home. I honestly believe that because of your ties to the people that you love that you will have a faster recovery by being with them.”

“Really? That…? That actually works?”

“Yes, it does,” he replied with the same polite grin I had grown accustomed to seeing. “It falls under the same premise of people who have faith and praying being the ones who heal faster. Some people equate it to being a placebo effect.”

“Okay… That’s… That’s… Fucking awesome! Shit… Sorry… I… fuck… Err, I mean…”

He started laughing then and said “It’s fine, Andie. Actually, it’s refreshing because it feels like I’ve finally got a glimpse at the real you.”

By this time, I had my head buried in my hand. That’s why I was looking through my fingers at him when I asked, “And who would that be? A complete and total spaz?”

“No,” he answered in a surprisingly earnest tone. “You are a woman who is very passionate, but for some reason you feel like you have to rein it in and keep from showing it that intensity to most people.”

“You would totally understand if you knew my extended family.” I got up and head towards his office door. Before I turned the knob to look at him and ask, “After I go home…? I mean… When I leave the hospital… Does that mean that you and I…?”

“No,” He mercifully cut in. “We can still have appointments. In fact, I hope we will continue our sessions. But it will be entirely be up to you.”

“Really? That’s… That’s awesome. I’ll make sure to schedule some appointments with your office, I promise.”

“That is very encouraging to hear.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

My sleep that night and most of the next day had been filled with the worst nightmares I had experienced since I woke up in the hospital. I swear I woke up every half hour in a cold sweat. But, thank to Dr. Gee, I remembered to pull out my journal after I went to the washroom to splash cold water on my face to wash away the sweat. My dreams had been REALLY vivid. Like scary realistic. But I was really hoping that’s all they were… dreams.

I was feverishly writing when Nurse Kate came into my room with my breakfast in hand. She abandoned the tray she had been carrying on the counter to walk towards me asking, “Andie? Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” I answered through a sob.

“Andie,” she countered in a very stern, almost motherly tone.

“No, really,” I replied in a calmer tone. “I just had a bad nightmare, but I’m okay.”

“Nightmare? Do you…?” Can you tell me about it?”

I sniffled in a breath then answered, “The worst in the series was when I watched my boyfriend die. I knew my imagination could get really scary and dark, but that… that was beyond disturbing.”

“Understandably.” She then placed a tray of food in front of me and added, “But before you eat lunch, can I offer you some good news?”

“Lunch?” I questioned dumbly as I watched her take the lid off my soup. “I…? I slept through breakfast?”

“Sorry. We noticed that you were finally resting when we were delivering breakfast, so we didn’t want to disturb you. Now that you’ve told me about your dreams, I’m really glad we didn’t BUT! It means that you really need to eat your lunch.”

I picked up the spoon and shoveled a couple mouthfuls before I said, “Okay, I’m eating now. Can you please tell me the good news?”

She smiled but just stood there and watched me eat. What the hell? Fine, I kept eating but once I was done my soup, her eyes moved to the tuna sandwich sitting on a plat. When I picked it up, she looked pleased and smiled more pleasantly.

As I continued to eat, she then replied, “The good news? We got a hold of your brother.”

“You dif?” I asked with my mouth full of sandwich.

Nurse Kate laughed at that reaction. “We did. He’s going to try to get here as soon as possible. But it might not be until after dinner.”

“Really?!” I questioned while I tried not to cry.

Kate had turned his attention to my IV and was adjusting it as she answered, “He knows that you’ll need a change of clothes, so he said it might take some time to get that together. But he promised he’d be here today. He… he even…” She shook her head but didn’t finish that thought.

“He what?” I quickly asked. “Please? What else did he say? It might sound stupid to you, but I swear it will… I mean it should make sense to me… I hope.”

I lost a lot of stream while I spoke, so Kate rushed to my side to get me to refocus my attention on her. “Okay. He said to do this while I told you…” She placed her right fist over her heart and ran it over her chest in a circular motion as she said, “He told us to tell you… while doing this (she continue to make circles over her heart with her fist) ‘Drea, I will see you soon.’ Does that make sense?”

“Yes,” I replied through more tears. “But only because my little brother is a huge dork.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Opie hadn’t said what time he’d make it to the hospital. That gave me lots of time to sit around and stew. Except I’m not all that good at being idle. Instead, I tried to leave to go for a walk outside, numerous times eat up the hours I was waiting for my brother. Since I wasn’t allowed to leave the hospital, I ended up pacing around my room to pass the time. It was kind of crazy how easily I charted out a course on my hospital room floor. It helped that no one interrupted me or came to check on me, even though, in the back of my mind, I knew that it should bother me that no one seemed to care about what I was doing.

I don’t know how long I had been pacing before I heard, “You keep pacing like that and you’ll wear a hole in the floor.”

I turned and sprinted in the direction of the voice. Opie barely had time to drop the duffle bag he was holding to catch me. And I mean CATCH in the literal sense. I launched myself into his arms and buried my face into his neck. He hooked his hands under my knees to shift me in his arms so that it was easier for him to carry me over to my bed.

He didn’t try to detach himself from my embrace just yet. He knew that resistance was futile. Instead, he sat on the bed and moved my legs so that I was sitting across his lap. I’m sure that he could feel my tears dripping off my chin onto his neck, but neither of us did anything to try to stop them.

Opie pressed his cheek to the top of my head while he massaged the back of my neck. “I’m sorry it took me so long to get here.”

My tears had finally slowed down enough that I could take in a couple of deep breaths. As I calmed myself down, I moved my head back to rest it on his shoulder. “You’re here now… That’s all that matters.”

I don’t know how long we sat like that in silence. My casted hand automatically moved to rest on Opie’s chest over his tattoo while I let him hold me. His hand had done the same, except that it had yet to cease its circular motion over my back. It’s amazing how some things never seem to change even years later. And I’m not going to lie, I always felt more grounded and reassured when we did stuff like this. It was my reset button when I felt like my world was falling apart around me.

We probably would have stayed like that all night, but we were interrupted by Dr. Cunningham, the neurologist on staff at Sutter Memorial Hospital, called out from my open door, “I’m sorry to break up your moment, but Ms. Winston I have your release papers here.”

“You do?” I asked as I extracted myself from Opie’s protective hold.

“I do, along with your prescriptions. Your brother told me you have a doctor in the family, but feel free to make an appointment with my office to have your staples removed. And here’s my card, just in case either of you have any questions at all. I know this had been a difficult ordeal and that it can be overwhelming, so questions might come up once you get settled, so please don’t hesitate to call if they do.”

“Thank you, I will,” I replied in a very meek tone as I watched Opie pocket the doctor’s card.

“And I’ve heard that you already made some appointments with Dr. Gee?”

“Yes, Sir, I did. His secretary suggested doing it sooner than later because his schedule was filling up so fast.”

“I’m sure that it was. It’s good to hear you’ll be seeing him after you leave here because that will definitely help with your continued recovery. I wish you all the best, Ms. Winston. Please do take care.”

“Thanks, Doc, for everything. I know I wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t for you and your expertise.”

He just smiled politely at that compliment then turned to say to Opie, “It was nice to meet you too, Mr. Winston. Did you remember what your question was?”

Opie shook his head as he took the doctor’s offered hand and shook it. “No, I don’t, but it’s fine. It’s already been answered. Thank you for everything.”

Once we were alone again, Opie picked up the duffle bag and carried it over to my bed. I remained seated on the bed while I watched him pull out the clothes he had brought for me to change into. I had expected him to give some sort of an explanation for what he had said to the doctor, but the longer he stayed quiet the less likely that appeared to be happening.

When he passed me the pile of neatly folded clothes, I kept a hold of his hands to force him to look at me when I asked, “What was your question?”

“It doesn’t matter, Drea.”

“It does to me, Opie. Please tell me?”

There was that sad puppy dog look that always broke my heart. What the hell could be THAT bad? What could…? That thought faded away when Opie liberated one of his hands to stroke his palm over my freshly shaved head.

“I was wondering how bad your injuries were, but the cast, your bald head, and the staples…Fuck… STAPLES not stitches… They paint a very vivid picture.”

“Oh… That…” I point to my left forearm that was in a cast as I said, “The stitches were under the cast, but I’ve been here long enough that they’ve been removed.”

“Drea…” He tried to chastise me with a soft sob.

I shrugged then earnestly countered, “What? It’s the truth.”

He leaned down to kiss the top of my head. “I know… but that doesn’t make it better. Take your time getting changed.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Opie drove me to his place in my Yukon. That was kind of surreal because I usually didn’t let anyone else drive my truck. But it was more comfortable than his pickup, so I didn’t say anything about it. The kids were fast asleep when we got to the house, so after kissing each of them good night, I started down the hall to the guest room while Opie thanked the Crow Eater he had recruited to watch the kids while he picked me up.

I didn’t recognize her, but I did recognize the look on her face. I had only really looked at myself in a handheld mirror, so I hadn’t actually gotten to see how I really looked with my bald head, staples and the other still healing injuries on my face and body. That’s why Opie found me standing in front of a full-length mirror in the guest room, just staring at my reflection.

“Drea?” He called out softly as he approached me.

I didn’t take my eyes off my reflection as I asked, “What the hell happened? I mean… the car accident, I get, but what the fuck happened before that?” I turned around then to face Opie where he was now sitting on the bed. “I NEVER drive drunk, so how did I end up driving into a tree? And why was I driving Piney’s Junker? I haven’t been to the cabin since… Fuck… Since junior year. I… I can’t figure out how it all fits. Do…? Do you know?”

Opie nodded then answered, “But maybe we should talk about all of it in the morning.”

“No, Opie, please? All I’ve done for almost two weeks is sleep. You can finally give me some answers. Please, don’t make me wait, please?”

He let out a heavy sigh then stood up off the bed. He took my right hand into his then guided me to the bed. Once I was seated, he started pacing in front of me. Just like I was prone to do, he was pacing while he gathered his thoughts, so I just sat and waited patiently for him to speak. Well, as patiently as I could.

“Drea? What’s the last thing you remember? They said that your short-term member was messed up, but how bad is it?”

He sat down to watch me while I gave his question some thought. “I… I remember David and I talking about moving in together. But then I… I had this dream… No… I had a nightmare where I watched him get run over by a van.”

“That’ wasn’t a dream.”

I stared at Opie with my mouth gaping open. He couldn’t hold eye contact with me for very long, so I gripped his right hand tightly as I tearfully asked, “David… David’s dead?”

He nodded and when he turned to face me again, I could see tears gathering in his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Drea.”

“How…? Not like… I mean… How long ago?”

“It’s been almost two years.”

“Two years? Shit…” Now it was my turn to get up and start pacing. “Two years… So?” I stopped to face him. “Dad and I… does that mean that he and I made up, fought, and made up again too?”

He tried to smile as he nodded but a soft sob came out instead. I rushed over to him and hugged him. I remained standing while he wrapped his hands around my waist. He cried softly into my chest while I combed the fingers of my right hand through his hair. As I continued to try to comfort him, a flood of memories hit me all at once… and hard.

“You got married… But she… she betrayed you, so you did something stupid. I held you like this not that long ago in the clubhouse apartment, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“Wow…” I sat down again. “The doctors said that being somewhere familiar might help jog my memory, but shit… that was… wow.”

Opie huffed out a laugh then we sat in silence for a couple of minutes. I guess we both got lost in our own thoughts, but he took me out of mine by reaching over to hold my right hand.

“Do you remember what happened at the cabin?”

I shook my head replying, “Dad and I drank a LOT of booze while we pretended to play cards. I woke up to the sound of someone breaking down the front door, but… But that’s all I remember before I woke up in the hospital.”

“That’s actually a bit of a blessing.”

Blessing? Okay that made NO sense to me and I know my confusion was plain on my face.

“Drea? Are you sure you want to get into all of this tonight?”

I held his gaze as I resolutely stated, “Yes, Opie. Please? We’ve come this far, I’m ready for the truth.”

“Okay. It… It was Clay who broke into the cabin and he… he… Clay shot Dad.”

“Shot Dad? Does…? You don’t mean…? Is…?”

He pulled me into his chest as I broke down into uncontrollable sobs. “I’m so sorry, Drea. He didn’t make it,” Opie whispered against the side of my head as his own tears tried to overwhelm him.

“Did…? Did he…? I mean…?”

Opie pressed my head against his shoulder replying, “I had to be him. Nothing else makes sense for your attack.”


	12. And your future's paved in gold

And Your Future’s Paved In Gold

“Hey Drea? Are you almost ready to go?” Opie called out through the door.

I threw my shirt to the floor replying, “No! Can you come in here?”

Opie didn’t hesitate to come in but froze in his spot when he saw me. I didn’t get a chance to see his face because he was throwing his hands over his now closed eyes as he cried out, “Jesus Christ, Drea! You’re… you’re only wearing a bra!”

“So what?” I snapped out as I pulled on a tank top. “You’ve seen me in a bikini after I grew girly bits, this is no different… but fine… be a little… whatever… I have a shirt on now. You can open your eyes without them bleeding or whatever.”

I laughed when he cracked one eye open to check if I was telling the truth or not. When he had confirmation that I was in fact clothed, he opened his other eye asking, “What’s the problem, Sis?”

“This stupid cast is too big to fit through any of my long-sleeved shirts. Plus, it isn’t warm enough to go outside in just a t-shirt, so now I’m sort of screwed.”

“Ah… okay… I think I have a solution for that. Is there anything else causing you issues?”

I nodded as I sat down on the bed. I picked up the toque he had loaned me and kept my eyes on my fingers picking at a loose thread as I answered, “I really appreciate you loaning me this, but… I can’t wear it.”

“Why not?”

He sat down beside me and placed a hand over mine to still it. When I turned my eyes up to his face, he quietly asked, “What’s wrong with it?””

“It keeps getting caught on my staples and that makes it tug them. It… It’s kind of giving me a headache.”

“Ah… Okay… I think I have a solution for that too. Get dressed and I’ll be back in a minute.”

After he left the room, I changed into a plain black t-shirt. I then pulled on a pair of black Doc Marten boots and sat on the bed to wait for him. I double checked the know on my sling before I slipped it over my head and placed my casted arm into it. I only wore it when I was out of the house because it was the easiest way for me to make sure no one accidentally bumped into me or I didn’t knock it on something.

Opie came in without knocking and smiled when he noticed that I was pretty much ready to go. He held up a plain black baseball cap with a Velcro opening at the back saying, “This should be more comfortable.”

“Thanks. It should do the trick.” I stood up and turned my back to him. “Can you help me fit it properly?”

“Of course.” He undid the Velcro and placed the cap on my head. He played with the sizing until he thought it would be comfortable. “How does that feel?”

“SO much better. Thanks.”

“No problem. And this should be more comfortable too,” he offered as he helped me pull on one of his black, zip up hoodies. Once he had it on my shoulders, he turned me around so that he could zip it up properly. The last thing he did was tuck the left sleeve into the left pocket of the hoodie after the pulled the hood over my hat. “Alright…? How’s that?”

“Much, much better. Thanks again, Bro.”

“Anytime, Sis. Okay… I guess all that’s left to do is drive to the cemetery,” Opie stated in a non-committal voice.

I walked over to the dresser and picked up my silver Aviator style sunglasses and put them on. When I turned around to answer Opie, he suddenly started laughing. I quickly took the sunglasses off and put them back where I found them.

While I glared at him, I said, “Well, I guess that answers my question.”

“What question?” He asked in a much more subdued tone.

“Whether or not I looked like the Unabomber.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Opie and I made it to the cemetery before everyone else. Mary was going to bring Ellie and Kenny here in about half an hour for the formal service. The MC was supposed to arrive around the same time too. Opie wanted to give us some time alone to say goodbye… together.

I don’t go to the cemetery often. There’s just something about seeing a loved one’s name and the short years of their life that makes it so… final. It always hit me harder to look at a headstone than a funeral or memorial service. As soon as I read the words “Piermont ‘Piney’ WINSTON” I broke down into uncontrollable sobs. Thankfully Opie was there to keep me from falling over. He lifted me off my feet and carried me over to our father’s tombstone where he went to his knees to sit down with me in his lap.

I traced the letters of our dad’s name with my right hand as I asked, “You know what the last thing I said to Dad was?”

Opie rested his chin on my left shoulder answering, “Whatever it was, Drea, he knew you loved him.”

“That’s exactly it. I teased him about kicking his ass at Rummy and then he tucked me into bed. The last thing we said to me was that he loved me and I said the same. What…? What if we were still fighting when this happened?”

He hugged his arms more tightly around my torso. “Don’t do that, Drea. You can’t let yourself fall into the pit of ‘what ifs’. You love him and he knew that at the end. That’s all that matters.”

“But… What if…? If I…? …I hadn’t gotten so drunk? What If I hadn’t brought up all that Scotch and tequila? Maybe… I… Maybe I could have done something to stop Clay.”

“Or maybe he would have shot you with the shotgun instead of just hitting you over the head with it.”

“Opie…”

“I’m serious, Drea,” he said over my words of protest. “The more likely outcome would be that I would be burying you too. This isn’t your fault. The only person to blame for us being here is Clay. This is his fault and his alone.”

I tried to tell him I agreed with him, but my sobs stole my ability to speak. Opie shifted his hold on me so the he could lower himself down onto the ground and sit me more comfortably in his lap. I don’t know if he wanted to cry or not, but I felt like I was shedding tears for the both of us.

After what felt like forever, my sobs finally started to subside. Opie had filled his pockets with tissues, so he pulled a couple out and passed them to me. I dried off my cheeks with one and blew my nose. I had to use the second one to so the same thing. I must have looked gross right now. Thankfully, it was etched into Opie’s DNA that he HAD to love me, no matter what, so I actually didn’t feel that self-conscious about how horrible I must look.

“I love you, Opie,” I finally whispered as I turned to wrap my right arm around his neck.

He gave me a tight squeeze saying, “I love you too, Drea.”

That’s when I heard the familiar rumble of motorcycle engines approaching. Guess that meant the MC was here. Shit, that also meant that I had been sitting here crying for nearly half an hour. God, I seriously had to look like such a mess right now.

“I can’t…” I heard myself stutter out. “I’m not ready to… to…”

“Hey, it’s okay, Drea. Did you want me to take you back to the truck?”

I shook my head answering, “No, it’s okay. I kind of… I’d like… I mean… There’s Donna and… and David’s buried here too, right?”

“Yeah. Actually, he’s pretty close to Donna… Did…? Did you…?”

I stood up and placed my hand on his cheek. When he fell silent, I kissed his forehead then said, “I remember where she is. I’m sorry I can’t… I mean… I’m sorry I’m leaving you alone…”

“It’s fine, Sis. You know where to find me if you need me.”

“That I do. Thanks. Love you.”

“You too.”

He then stood up to hug me one last time. Before he released me from his embrace, he pulled my hood up and rested it on top of my ball cap. He then passed me a stash of folded up tissues with a sad smile on his face. His thoughtfulness choked me up, so all I could do was smile to say, ‘Thank you’.

I saw the guys ride into the cemetery, so I turned to make my way towards Donna’s grave. I think the last time I was here was when I first got back from the UK. Ellie had gone missing, so Opie, Mary and I scattered around Charming and its surrounding area to try to find her. I couldn’t see her until I got to Donna’s grave site. She was curled up in a ball with her back pressed against her mother’s headstone. I couldn’t hear her crying, but the movement of her shoulders told me that’s exactly what she was doing.

She jumped when she felt me wrap an arm around her after I had sat down on the ground beside her. When she saw that it was me, she threw her arms around me and buried her face into my chest as she continued to cry.

We ended up talking for a couple of hours while we sat facing her mother’s tombstone. I had texted Mary and Opie to let them know I had found her and would make sure to get some dinner into her before I took her home. Opie decided to do the same with Kenny, so that meant only Mary was at the house when I dropped Ellie off at Opie’s house. After that, Ellie and I spoke on the pone or met for a soda after school on a daily basis because getting a call saying that she was missing almost gave me a heart attack. She was having a hard time processing everything and really, who could blame her for that? She couldn’t talk to Mary or Opie about her feelings for some reason, but I had almost no issues getting her to open up to me, so I made sure she knew I was available, anytime.

Man… Right now, that felt like a lifetime ago.

I knelt down in front of the headstone and pressed my right palm against her name and closed my eyes for a couple of breaths. When I felt a tear roll down my right cheek, I opened my eyes and sat, cross legged on the ground facing the ground.

“I’m sorry I haven’t visited much,” I quietly said out loud. “But… well… No bullshit, I hate this place. I hate that you were stolen from us and… well… I fucking miss you.” I paused to dry my cheeks and compose myself a bit. “The kids are good. Ellie, she… she’s amazing… and looks more like you every day. Kenny… well… He’s a bit of a shit. But it’s more like he’s a little brother, not that he’s actually getting into or causing a lot of real trouble. He’s… He actually reminds me of Opie sometimes. But they really are good kids. They miss you too.”

And that’s when a fresh onslaught of tears hit me. I really hate crying, which is the biggest reason why I hadn’t come here. Every time I saw her name carved into the smooth black granite it was like a punch in the gut. It was a reminder of how she was taken away from us, of how tumultuous my relationship with my Dad had become and of how hard it was for all of us to rebuild ourselves so that we could help each other come to terms with our new reality. Sometimes I felt like such a fraud because I don’t think I’ve truly ever felt like myself ever since I heard the new that Donna had been shot.

Well… there were a couple of times, but… Even that glimmer of hope had been taken away from me.

Once I had my tears under control, I pressed my palm to her name as I solemnly vowed, “I will protect them with my last breath. I promise Ellie and Kenny will NEVER be without me to support them. I love you Donna and I really do hope you’re watching over all of us.”

I then forced myself to stand up and start wandering through the rows of headstones. Opie had said that David was buried close to here. I had to have visited his grave, right? There’s no way that in nearly two years that I wouldn’t have visited him, right? It seemed inconceivable but as I wandered the graveyard, none of this felt familiar. I didn’t recognize any of these names or grave sites, except for Donna’s.

That was until I saw it. Down at the end of the row I had just turned into, there was a gray head stone with a small American flag attached to one side of it. I didn’t have to get any closer to it to know that there would be a California State flag on the other of it. Jacob had insisted on it, along with the carved copy of David’s badge on the front of the headstone beneath David’s name and lifespan. The badge I totally agreed with, but I thought the flags were a little over the top because I wasn’t convinced Jacob would be diligent about their upkeep. I’m not going to lie; I felt a wave of relief wash over me when I noticed that so far, the elder Hale hadn’t let us down. Maybe he wasn’t completely self-absorbed.

I said NOT completely!

Once I saw the name I had been seeking, I smiled sadly then quietly said, “Hey Baby Blue… Long time…”

Unlike Donna, I didn’t really know what to say in this moment. So… I opted for silence. It wasn’t often that I was afforded a moment of peace because every part of my life was loud and busy. Okay… Sometimes at the restaurant I could hide in my office, but that didn’t usually last all that long. Just like when I was hanging out at TM, someone usually sought me out for some reason. Some days it was just to chat, but more often than not, it was to have me put out some kind of fire.

As I stood there staring down at David’s grave, I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. Given my breakdowns at Dad’s and Donna’s graves and how long it took me to find David’s, it shouldn’t have surprised me that I looked like Dad’s service was winding up.

“Shit,” I cursed out softly to myself before I knelt down in front of David’s headstone. I used my right hand to keep myself steady as I leaned in to press a kiss to David’s first name. “I miss you, Baby Blue.”

As I made my way back to Dad’s grave, I noticed a couple of people lingering by Opie’s side. One of them was Jax and given how close we were that made perfect sense. But the other guy standing with them wasn’t someone I immediately recognized. Why would he be standing with my brothers when everyone else from the club had started walking towards their bikes?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jax stopped mid-sentence and his back went ramrod straight when he noticed the hood figure walking towards them. Before he could voice his question, Opie turned to follow his best friend’s gaze. At first Opie wasn’t going to say anything, but then he noticed both Jax and Happy slowly moving their hands towards their side arms.

“HEY! It’s fine! That’s just Drea.”

“THAT’S Andie?” Jax questioned in a disbelieving tone. “Where the hell has she been? Why wasn’t she at the service?”

“She…” Opie hesitated while he tried to decide what truth to tell. “She had a pretty bad accident and had to stay in the hospital because of it. Her memory had been really messed up and she said that she wasn’t ready to face everyone.”

“Her memory?” Happy asked with his eyes laser focused on Andie as she continued to make her slow approach.

Opie nodded then answered, “When she first woke up, she didn’t remember that Hale was dead, let alone how it happened. Ash those memories are coming back to her, she’s been really overwhelmed.”

“Shit. That fucking sucks,” Jax commented in a quiet voice.

Happy didn’t say anything before he took a couple of steps towards Andie. Opie quickly moved in front of him and stopped him with a hand on his chest. That was the first time Happy’s eyes moved away from watching Andie. Opie almost backed off when he saw the angry look in Happy’s eyes, but he forced himself to stand his ground. He owed Andie that much.

“Happy, look… I… I don’t know a polite way to say this but she… Andie doesn’t remember you… or that you two are in a relationship. Her doctor said it was best to let her allow everything to come back at her own pace. Please, don’t be upset with her? She isn’t ready to be around the club… At least, not yet.”

Happy’s eyes moved from Opie’s face to Andie’s approaching form a couple of times but he didn’t say anything. Opie and Jax noticed a tick on his jaw that looked like he was gritting his teeth, but he didn’t reply. At least not with words. Instead, he just nodded then turned and left.

Jax nodded towards Andie asking, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No,” Opie almost snapped out. He paused there and forced himself to calm down before he continued, “Not right now. We’re just taking everything one day at a time. Stuff is slowly coming back to her and shit like Hale’s death have hit her hard. It’s almost like she’s grieving his death for the first time all over again, so it’s… it’s been hard for her… us… just like last time.”

“I get that. But if there’s anything you need, Ope, just me know, okay?”

Opie managed to not to roll his eyes when he answered, “Yeah, of course.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I watched as Opie stopped the Nomad from approaching me and froze mid-step for a moment. Why was he coming towards me? I know Dad had trusted him to take care of me after David was killed, but he was a Nomad. He didn’t have a home here, so why was he stalking towards me? Why was…?

By this time, I had made it to Opie’s side and he immediately pulled me into a tight hug. While he kept my head pressed against his chest, I asked, “What the hell did the Nomad want?”

“He has a name, Drea,” Opie countered with a chuckle.

I nuzzled my face against his chest as I replied, “So… What? That still doesn’t answer my question.”

He squeezed his arms around me replying, “I guess it doesn’t… Well it… Ugh… I can’t tell you without possibly delaying your road to recovery.”

THAT got my attention. I pushed back against his chest with my right hand to give him a questioning look. Opie smiled as he caught my hand and added, “All in good time, Sis. All in good time, I promise.”


	13. And in my mind you are suspended

And In My Mind You Are Suspended

I woke up to a loud crashing sound. No, it was more than that. It sounded like someone was trying to demolish the place. God, it was so loud, but what…? What the hell was it?

I kept my eyes closed while I tried to figure out what I was hearing. Was it a bulldozer? Or a wrecking ball? No, that didn’t make sense. Plus, I really didn’t know what either of those machines sounded like when they were being used. I could only imagine it and thanks to television I felt like it was pretty accurate.

When I opened my eyes, I stifled a gasp behind the back of my left hand. What was I doing up at the cabin? I hadn’t been up here since… Since… THAT night. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it after Opie told me about what he had found. It took me a while to get the truth out of him to tell me every detail and well… I think it would have been easier to live my life in blissful ignorance.

Then again it wouldn’t be fair for him to live with all of that on his own. We were two peas in a pod. We helped each other through everything. Having a twin meant always having someone who had your back, no matter what. So, I forced him to tell me the truth so that I could help to shoulder some of the burden.

Yeah, we were in this together. Maybe that’s why I was here. Opie and I had talked about doing something together to commemorate our Dad. Did I suggest coming up here? Yeah… That… That made sense.

I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair while I tried to wake up and get my bearings. As I pulled my left hand away from my head, I couldn’t help but to stare at the back of it. When did I get my cast off? The fingernails on my right hand scratched at my skull before I pulled it away through nothing but air. Huh, I was still bald. Okay, that made sense. And so did waiting until I had my cast off to come up here.

Suddenly a bout of laughter hit me. No wonder it sounded like the whole cabin was coming down. Sasquatch never could hold his liquor. Damn, I hope Opie made it to the toilet before he lost his lunch.

_Poor Baby Bro,_ I thought as I pulled on an oversized hoody over the t-shirt I fell asleep in. I snatched up my lounge pants from the floor and pulled them on too. I was still giggling as I left my room and made my way down the hall as I called out, “Opie? Hey… Are you alright, Baby Bro? Ope?”

“Opie’s fine,” I heard a voice reply as I stepped into the living room. Suddenly the room shifted so that it looked as trashed as Opie had described finding it. Clay slowly started to stand up then shrugged adding, “At least I assume he is since he isn’t here and all.”

“Clay?” I mumbled out as my eyes moved to his feet. “What…? Why are you here?”

His gaze followed mine as I quietly whispered out in horror, “Daddy?”

He stood up to his full height and took a step towards me. Holy shit! When did he get so tall? God, he absolutely towered over me. Especially since I was shrinking back and away from him.

“Andie… It isn’t what it looks like,” he finally said as he took another step towards me.

I instinctively took a step back and then ran into the door jamb. Clay let out a chuckle that quickly morphed into a growl. I pulled my hair out of my face and turned to run down the hallway. It didn’t take long for Clay to give chase. At least I assume it didn’t because I didn’t have the courage to turn around and find out for sure.

As I ran, the hall seemed to get longer and longer. Shit. I just had to get back to my room. If I could do that then I could get to my phone and call for help. Yeah, a couple of reinforcements and I’d be okay. Well… not okay, but closer to safe.

I kept running even though my lungs started to burn and my legs felt like they were going to give out on me. God, how far away was my room? The cabin wasn’t really all that big, right? What the fuck was happening?

Just as soon as that thought came to me, I saw the door to my bedroom appeared to my right. I sprinted towards it and turned the knob without slowing down. As soon as I was through the door, I slammed it shut and pressed my back against it while I tried to catch my breath. I could hear Clay yelling out my name, but he still sounded like he was far away. Good, now I just needed a couple of minutes to hide so that I could plan my escape.

I kept my eyes closed until I felt my heartbeat finally start to slow down. Okay, good. Now all I had to do was get to a window then I could run into the woods. Or to Dad’s junker. I wasn’t sure which would be best. But either way, I had to get to the window. I HAD to get outside.

When I opened my eyes, I couldn’t stop a soft gasp from escaping through my lips because I wasn’t in my room. No, I… I was standing outside by the font porch. What the actual fuck?

I stood frozen in my spot until I heard Clay bellow from the front door that had been kicked in, “ANDIE!”

“Shit,” I cursed out as I turned and tried to run away. TRIED being the operative term.

Before I could take a step, I felt someone grab the hood of my sweatshirt. Someone, HA! CLAY grabbed the hood and yanked it back with so much force that he almost pulled me off my feet. Not that I let that stop me.

When I made my next attempt to run away, Clay grabbed a fistful of hair and jerked me back by it. I don’t’ know how he did it, but the next thing I knew, I was down on my knees in front of him.

As I watched him raise his fist over his head, I cried out, “Please don’t do this, Uncle Clay! Please?!”

“I’m sorry, but I… I can’t… can’t take my chances.”

“PLEASE!” I screamed through my tears with my eyes still on his fist.

He slowly lowered it and then stroked my cheek with his fingers. His left hand still had a firm grip on my hair as he lovingly caressed my cheek ad spoke in an eerily calm tone. “I’m sorry, Sweetheart. You… You know too much.”

“NO!” I cried out as tears continued to cascade down my cheeks. “I don’t know anything! PLEASE! PLEASE, UNCLE CLAY! PLEASE, DON’T!”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he reared his fist back over his head. “I can’t risk it.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

This time when I opened my eyes, I found myself at Opie’s house. I was in my bed in his spare bedroom with sweat pouring down my face.

I pulled the neck of my nightshirt up over my face to mop up some of the sweat. Fuck. That was just a dream? NO! That was a fucking nightmare! Right?

I slowly got out of bed to move over to the vanity in the room. As I checked myself out in the mirror, I let out a sigh of relief. I was still completely bald because I didn’t want to let my hair start to grow back until I had my staples removed. They were gone now but shaving my head had become such a habit that I still did it a couple of days after they were removed.

I brushed my right hand over my stubbled hair as I looked down at my left arm. I still wore a compression sleeve when I slept because I didn’t want to mess up all of the work my surgeons had done. Seriously, I had had a bone sticking out through my skin at one point and I really wasn’t looking to have to have to go under the knife again.

I forced my eyes back up to my reflection so that I was looking at my face. I still looked exhausted, but that was nothing new. Since my restaurant had opened, I was lucky if I got more than four hours of sleep each night. But tonight FELT different. My exhaustion wasn’t just physical, it was spiritual too.

While I sat in front of the vanity, I pulled my nightshirt off so that I could towel up the rest of the sweat pouring out all over my body. God, the last time I felt this gross and covered in sweat, I had strep throat in the tenth grade. Opie and Jax had made me all kinds of weird soups to help me heal. Most of them were so disgusting that they almost made me puke, but I ate each and every one. They were being sweet and I tried my bet to show my gratitude for it.

After staring at my reflection for a few minutes, I decided I had to wash some of the stink off me. Opie hadn’t tried to make me do much of anything except eat and drink water since he brought me here from the hospital. He had even had Ellie bring in my meals to me so that I couldn’t say no. He played it off that he was just trying to make sure that I could take my antibiotics, so I had to eat. He knew I wouldn’t be taking any pain meds while my memory was so messed up, but antibiotics? Those I felt compelled to take so I didn’t make matters worse.

While I stood under the scolding hot water in the shower, I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on the back wall. The water from the shower head hit my naked back and all I could think was that I wished Happy was here. He would make sure that he washed every inch of my back so that I wouldn’t have to tackle that feat on my own. Plus, he would be able to tell me how long he thought the bald spot at the back of my head would last. He had a very interesting set of skills and experiences that meant he just somehow knew what to say to help to ease my mind.

_Happy_, I thought as I poured some body wash into my hands. How could I ever forget Happy? I questioned as I rubbed the body wash over my head and torso. Shit! Fuck! Did he know what happened to me? Or…? Shit. What had Opie told everyone? What tale had he spun to explain my absence to people like my boyfriend? Fuck. He had made Happy stand down at the cemetery, so it had to have been a pretty good story.

Dammit Opie! Why didn’t you tell me what you said? Maybe then I would know where to start with Happy. What lies would I have to squash for everyone to believe I truly was myself again?

I tried not to think about it too much while I got dressed. Even though my case had been off just as long as my staples had been out, I still found myself wearing one of Opie’s or Happy’s hoodies. They were like a security blanket and I had no qualms admitting that to myself. I also took to wearing the ball cap Opie had given me over a toque because it felt more comfortable to hide my bald head while I let my hair grow out to properly hide the scar that had caused my new hair style.

Opie had been borrowing my truck since his rollover on the reservation with Jax, so I called a cab to take me to TM. It was weird coming back here by myself. I guess I had assumed Opie would have brought me here to help jog my memory, but that hadn’t happened. Now that I felt like I had pretty much all of my memories back, I guess it also made sense that he hadn’t. Clay had killed our Dad and it wouldn’t take much for Opie to blame the whole MC for Dad’s death. I hate to admit it, but by keeping me away from them, I think he had hoped to sway my opinion to match his as well. But now I was seeing clearly and I knew Dad’s death had nothing to do with the club. Clay had done that all on his own because of old shit between the two of them. No one else in the club knew what that shit was so there was no way that they would greenlight that level of retaliation or action for Clay.

No, he was a lone wolf who had strayed front the pack. He made the choice without anyone else’s input.

I paused at the door to the clubhouse to take in a couple of deep breathes before I pulled it open. I swear I felt like I was seventeen again and was going inside to check on Opie and Jax after their vote. I still don’t know what I planned to do if either of them lost the vote to be a prospect, but I still marched in there like I ruled that domain and would smite anyone who dared to vote no.

_Damn. THOSE were the days_, I thought with a chuckle as I pulled the door open.

While I waited for my eyes to adjust to the dim light inside, I heard someone say, “This is a private club.”

I nodded and pulled the hood off my head answering, “I know.”

“Good. So, turn around and see yourself out.”

“You see yourself out,” I retorted with a sneer as I turned to face the man who was trying to confront me. “And go fuck yourself while you’re at it, Juice.”

He opened his mouth, but no noise came out of it. If he ever came up with a reply, I didn’t hear it because Phil called out, “Miss Andie? Is that you?”

I smiled and tipped my hat back so that my face would be more easily seen. “Hey Phil, it is. Have…? Have you seen…?” And my question got lost as my eyes found the man I was seeking. I took a couple of steps towards him as I whispered, “Hap… Grumpy…”

One corner of Happy’s mouth twitched in a half smile as he replied, “Hey Princess.”

We kept walking towards each other as I asked, “Can…? Can we talk for a minute?”

“Sure,” he answered automatically.

As he picked up my hand to kiss the back of it, I looked around the room. Nearly the whole club was here, including some new members I vaguely remembered seeing before at different functions over the years. Shit. I didn’t want to have this conversation in front of EVERYONE. Shit.

Happy kept my right hand in his and used it to lead me through the clubhouse. Good. He obviously felt the same way about wanting to have some privacy, so I followed him willingly. Well, at least I did until I noticed where he was taking me. Sure, the apartment would be private, but I hated spending time there. Happy knew that he number one reason was that both Jax and Opie had fucked the same porn star in there and fucked up their relationships. Okay, Jax had only done so temporarily, but the logic still stands.

Lucky for me, Jax stepped out of the chapel as we approached the hall wo the apartment. “Andie?”

I turned and smiled. This is why the clubhouse always felt like home. Jax rushed over to me and gave me a tight hug. Happy let go of my hand so that I could hug Jax back just as fiercely.

“I’m so sorry, Andie,” he whispered against my ear. “I promise he’ll suffer worse when the time comes.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” I replied quietly before I pushed out of his embrace to look him in the eye. I leaned up to kiss his cheek then said, “I love you, Jax.”

“Love you too, Andie. So? Where are you two heading?”

Happy pulled me into his side as he answered, “To the apartment.”

“Oh? Sorry to interrupt.”

“JAX! It’s just to talk!” I cried out indignantly. I took a step forward to playfully swat his arm, but I froze when I saw Clay exit the chapel.

Our eyes met for a brief second, but he quickly turned his head and walked towards the bar. Happy pulled me into his side again and started running his hand up and down my arm in an attempt to comfort me. I tucked my face into his shoulder so I missed seeing Clay flee towards then men’s restroom.

Jax kept his gaze trained on Clay’s invisible route saying, “Why don’t you two go to the chapel. I’ll make sure no one interrupts you.”

“Thanks, Pres,” Happy replied as he moved towards the chapel.

I made him pause a moment to kiss Jax’s cheek again with a quiet, “Thanks.”

Once we were in the chapel, Happy immediately sat in the chair he usually occupied when the club was in this room. I laughed silently to myself because I could tell it was a habit for him. He didn’t have to think twice about doing it at all, he just moved to that seat automatically. I hurried over to sit in the chair to his left. I don’t know whose seat it was and to be completely honest I really didn’t care.

Once we were seated, I pulled my sleeves over my hands and stared at them as I started in a meek tone, “I’m sorry I’ve been MIA for so long…”

“Hang on,” he interrupted. Happy waited until I turned my head to look at him before he reached over to remove my cap saying, “Can I…?”

“NO!” I nearly shouted in my haste to stop him. I gripped his wrist gently as I continued, “I mean, please don’t.”

“Princess, I’ve already told you, I don’t care how you wear your hair. Long or short, you’re beautiful.”

“What if it’s all gone?” I asked in a tearful tone.

He frowned but didn’t say anything. He DID pull the brim of my cap back to remove it. At first, I thought about stopping him, but in the end, I didn’t do anything to stop him. I was here to have an open and honest discussion with him about what had happened and my current hairstyle was an important part of that discussion.

I couldn’t bear to see his reaction, so I turned my face down so that I could stare at the tabletop. I could feel Happy’s eyes examining the part of the scar that was now visible, but he said nothing and didn’t make a single sound to betray him to reveal how he was truly feeling. After a couple of seconds, he cupped my chin and gently moved it so that I was now facing him.

At first, I just stared at his chest. I wanted to make sure that the tears I could feel gathering in the corners of my eyes weren’t going to fall before I looked at him. When I thought I had my emotions under control, I finally moved my gaze to make eye contact with him.

Happy smiled softly and brushed a tear that escaped out of my left eye with the back of his right index finger. “Princess, you are gorgeous.”

“Liar,” I whispered with a tearful chuckle.

That earned me a glare that lacked any heat to make it look the least bit sincere. He then leaned forward to steal a kiss before he explained, “Now there’s no hair for you to hide your beautiful hazel eyes from me. You truly are a goddess, Princess.”

“Wow, I almost believe you, Grumpy.”

“You should, it’s the truth.” I whispered a barely perceptible ‘Thank you’ around the lump growing in my throat while Happy brushed another tear away with his thumb. He kept his hand wrapped around my neck and the base of my skull as he continued, “I hope this is one of the things you wanted to talk about.”

“It is. Okay… so… I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to contact you. While I was at the cabin, someone came up and… and… attacked us…”

“Clay just told us about Piney… Did…? Did he…?”

I reached out to grab Happy’s free hand and hugged it into my chest. “He…? He confessed?” Happy just nodded with an angry scowl on his face. “Wow. I didn’t see that coming. And to be completely honest, I’m not sure. The doctors and cops think someone hit me over the head with something heavy. They were thinking baseball bat or two by four because they removed wood splinters during surgery… but I’m thinking it was the butt of a sawed-off shotgun that did it.”

“Surgery? How bad…? Why…?”

“I’m getting there. So, I don’t remember a lot, but when I woke up and found Dad, I tried to get him help. For some stupid reason, I thought driving to get help would be faster than trying to call someone. The next thing I knew, I woke up and nearly a week had gone by. The police explained that I drove my dad’s car off the road and hit a tree. Then a good Samaritan found me and called 911. Once I was at the hospital, they did emergency surgery and relieved pressure on my brain… or had to stop bleeding… I… I can’t really remember. And they…” I paused to pull my left sleeve back to show him that scar. “They also had to set a compound fracture here. That was the only injury that was actually caused by the car accident. Before you ask, no one else was hurt because of me being behind the wheel… and the doctor is convinced it was the brain injury that cause me to black out, not alcohol. They tested my blood and I wasn’t drunk.”

“Shit. That’s a lot for your body to heal.”

“You can say that again. Once I was awake, I started seeing a psychologist. He tried to help me overcome my amnesia. Slowly, I started to remember things like my name…” I let out a humorless laugh at that. “Fuck. I couldn’t even remember my own damn name at first. But then I remembered Opie and asked them to call him. I… I don’t know what he told you but… but I… I…”

When he could tell that I was struggling, Happy mercifully cut in saying, “He said you were having troubles with your memory. That you didn’t remember Hale was dead at first and that when you remembered watching him die that it was like you were mourning him for the first time again.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” He questioned, drying both of my cheeks with the sleeve of his hoody. “Princess, you had amnesia. You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I feel like I should because you mean so much to me. I don’t know why it took me so long to remember you. Really, I’m so sorry it took me so long.”

“Andie, it’s fine. Opie explained a lot of what happened, so we’re… it’s alright, Princess. We’re good.”

“Really? He did? He… He didn’t tell me that.”

“I figured as much. He said that the doctor said that you shouldn’t try to force your memories or anything, so he was going to have you stay with him for the time being.”

“That’s true. But I wish he had of brought me here sooner, it might have helped the process to work a lot faster.”

“Well that might be true, but he was doing what he thought was best for you.”

“I’m not so sure about that.”

“What? Why would you say that, Princess?”

“He’s so angry right now because of what Clay did that he… he… He’s putting the blame on the whole club. I think he kept me away from all of you on purpose. After I saw you at the cemetery everything came back to me. Even finding Dad covered… covered in… in…”

“Shh…” Happy shushed me as he pulled me to sit on his lap. I tucked myself against his chest with my head under his chin. He rocked me from side to side until he felt my tears start to subside. Then he kissed my temple and quietly said, “You remember me now, that’s all that matters. Don’t blame yourself for things you couldn’t control. It isn’t fair for you to beat yourself up about that. I don’t blame you, so you can’t blame yourself.”

I sat and let him hold me while I forced myself to calm down. It didn’t take me long before I was finally feeling like I had myself under control again. Once my breathing had evened out completely, I blew my nose a couple of times and then dried my cheeks with the sleeve of my hoody.

I then leaned back and took in a deep breath to say, “Happy, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, you can, Princess.”

“In…? Uhh… In your expert opinion, do you…? Do you think I’ll have a bald spot for life?”

“My expert opinion?” He replied with a chuckle. “You might, but if you grow your hair out you should be able to cover it up easily.”

“Okay…”

We sat in silence and he raised his right hand to massage the back of my neck. “What else is on your mind?”

“I… I was… I was also wondering… Can…? I mean… Is it okay with you if I move back home?”

“Andie….” He gasped out with a shocked look on his face. “Princess, nothing would make me happier.”

“So, I can move back today?”

“I’ll borrow the van…”

That caused me to bark out a laugh. I threw my arms around his neck and gave him a bruising kiss. “Opie only packed a bag for me, so the van won’t be necessary.”


	14. You will be forever young

You Will Be Forever Young

“I can’t believe you’re doing this, Drea.”

I stared up at Opie as he paced by me, across the kitchen floor. “Opie, I... I thought you’d be happy about this.”

“Happy? Why the hell would you think that?”

I stared at him for a couple of seconds to gauge how serious he was being. He actually looked genuinely annoyed... No... Scratch that... He looked pissed off. What the fuck? Why would this piss him off?

“Well, for one,” I started as calmly as I could. “I thought you’d be relieved to have babysitting duties off your plate. You have enough going on with your kids and Lyla, you don’t need me being a burden on your shoulders too.”

“You aren’t a burden, Drea.”

I waved a hand to dismiss his protests and held up two fingers as I continued, “For two, I thought you of all people... my loving TWIN brother, would be happy that I finally have my memory back... that I’m FINALLY feeling more like myself. Jesus, Opie. Not everything is about you and your war against the world.”

“Drea... I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Right... Accusing me of choosing the club over you... You didn’t mean that AT ALL.”

“Fuck... I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”

“Yes... Yes, you did.” I held my hand up to stop him from interrupting my thought. “You’re angry, I get that. But Happy didn’t do anything to hurt me... you... us in any way, shape or form. Hate Clay all you want... BELIEVE me, I DO... But don’t let it bleed onto Happy. He would cut out his own heart before he ever did anything to hurt me... or you... or the fucking club.”

“I know, Drea, I do. It’s just... right now...”

“It’s hard not to let your feelings spread to everyone. I get that. That’s why I made sure we could talk face to face before I moved out. I love you, Opie. More than any human on Earth, but I need to feel whole again and being with Happy does that. I’m sorry if that hurts you, but I have to be a little selfish right now so that I can keep healing.”

“It isn’t selfish,” he protested as he wrapped his arms around my torso to hug me.

I hugged him back replying, “Yes, it is. But Dr. Gee says that I have to do that sometimes. What I need to do to heal may not always fall in line with other people’s wants and needs, but I can’t let that stop me. I can be honest and apologize if it hurts them but I still have to do what’s best for me.”

“I know. And I really am sorry I sounded like I was accusing you of something.”

“It’s okay, Ope. Be mad at the club. Hell hate the world, but please... please don’t hate me for wanting to fix things between me and Happy.”

“I swear, I’m beyond relieved you’re feeling more like yourself, Sis. I really am.”

He gave me one last squeeze then looked me in the eye to add, “I love you too, Drea. Don’t ever forget that. Here... Let me go grab your keys.”

I caught his arm to pull him back and give him another hug. “Keep them. I’m not ready to drive yet. I’m... I’m still working on getting over that phobia. Use my Yukon until you find a truck you like. I really don’t need it right now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. Happy volun-told Phil he was my chauffeur today.”

“What about tomorrow?”

“That’s tomorrow’s problem. Don’t worry about it, Baby Bro. I’ll... We’ll figure something out.”

“Okay,” he replied, still not sounding completely convinced. “If you say so, Sis.”

“I say so.” I kissed his cheek then repeated, “I love you, Ope.”

“Love you too, Drea.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Happy and I came to a quick understanding and decision that when he couldn’t be with me that I would stay at the clubhouse or someone from the club would stay with me at our house. I still feel bad that I laughed at the look on his face when I suggested Phil be my watchdog. He was the Brother Happy was going to suggest because the big guy had proven himself to be tough and nearly bullet proof. Plus, his sheer size was intimidating enough to help me feel more at ease.

Phil was also the only new member of SAMCRO with whom I felt truly comfortable. He had sort of become friends while he was a Prospect. I couldn’t say that for any of the Nomads who had patched over to SAMCRO after dad passed away.

So, Phil the Watchdog, (we all preferred that term over ‘babysitter’) was the reason I was now sitting in the clubhouse, waiting for the guys to get back. From what I overheard, they had some kind of meeting with Damon Pope in Oakland. No one really knew when they might be back, so we just hung out in the clubhouse hoping that it would be sooner than later.

“Did you want me to pour you a drink?” Phil asked from behind the bar. “I could pour you a tumbler of scotch...”

“You mean that shit they call...” I started as I turned my eyes up from my phone. I completely lost my train of thought when I saw the bottle in his hand.

He chuckled and poured a healthy serving form the bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue while explaining, “Happy and I convinced Jax to stock some of the good stuff for the times we have top shelf visitors.”

“Me? You convinced him to stock it for me?”

“Didn’t take much. He likes the idea of you staying close to all of us, so he was more than happy to oblige.”

I took a long drink form my glass and took a moment to savor the flavor. “Phil? I knew you were my favorite for a reason.”

“Second favorite,” he teased. When I opened my eyes to protest, he passed me to beer bottles continuing, “Or maybe third... but either way, number one is just pulling up to the lot.”

I turned to face the monitor he was watching and smiled. I finished my drink in one last, quick swallow and then hopped up onto my stool and leaned over the bar to kiss his cheek. “You’re my favorite newbie. I think this was a hard one, so we might need a few more beers... and pass me that cigar box, please.” He raised an eyebrow as he passed the wooden box to me. “Call it woman’s intuition.”

He barked out a laugh at that and then turned to pull out a few more beers. While he did that, I tried to climb off the stool gracefully, but the execution of that was easier thought than done. I nearly fell off the stool, but thankfully Chucky was there to catch me. He claimed the box and put it on the bar top before he wrapped his hands around my waist to help guide me safely off the stool.

Once I was on my feet, he passed me the box saying, “You head out to greet your man. Phil and I will bring out the beers.”

“Really? Thanks, Chucky!”

I kissed his cheek and blew a kiss to Phil. I then turned and sprinted towards the door. Happy had already parked his bike and was slowly making his way to one of the tables outside. I dropped the box on the table and hurried over to his side, but my feet unconsciously slowed down. I don’t know what it was exactly, but bubbly, exuberance didn’t feel like the right vibe right now.

“Hey, Grump---”

My greeting got muffled into Happy’s chest as he pulled me into a hug. I just went with it and wrapped my arms around his waist to help to ground me. He kept my face pressed into his chest until he came close to suffocating me. But just as I thought that I was going to have to tap out, he pulled me back just enough that he could kiss my head then tuck me under his chin more comfortably.

“This was a hard one, eh?” I asked quietly.

I felt his chin move over my head as if he was nodding as his only reply. I then leaned back and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Come sit down so we can talk about it... Please?”

He smiled at how I made it a question because that had become a bit of an inside joke between us. Nothing proved to Happy that I was feeling like myself like pick up our inside jokes (like that one) with relative ease.

He then led me by the hand over to the table. When I tried to move around the table to a chair, Happy crushed my fingers in his hold and forced me to follow him. He sat down on a chair and I had no choice but to sit down with him. That was unless I wanted him to break my hand or something undesirable like that. No, not intentionally, but he was so strong and was clinging to me so tightly that it might happen accidentally.

After I was settled in his lap, he placed a hand on either side of my had and gave me a deep kiss. Don’t get me wrong, I love Happy’s mouth. I couldn’t wait to experience everything I remembered him being able to do, but we were at the clubhouse. I always felt weird about too much PDA here because I always felt like my dad was going to bust us. Or one of my surrogate dad’s like Clay or Bobby or Chibs or Tig or my big brother or... well you get the point.

Mercifully, Happy pulled back before I felt the need to push him away. I waited a couple of breaths but when he didn’t say anything, I rested my forehead against his temple and whispered, “Hap...? Please talk to me.”

He stroked the back of my head the same way he would when he ran his fingers through my hair. It was so comforting that the way he touched and caressed me hadn’t changed with my new coif. He kept saying he was still absolutely attracted to me, but I didn’t truly believe it until now. Yeah, my brain was shitty to me even before I suffered this blow to the head.

“Did you know Tig’s girls growing up?” He finally asked quietly.

I bobbed my head from side to side answering, “When we were really young, we sort of hung out. But by high school I was more comfortable being one of the guys, so I hung out more with Jax and Opie and their crew than any of the girls our age. Why?”

He shook his head sadly then said, “I... I’m just glad that you and Piney found a way to make amends because... Today was... was...”

“Brutal?” I tried to finish for him. He heaved out a relieved sigh and nodded. “Fawn and I... we’ve always had that in common. We could always count on being a thorn in our dad’s side without trying. Dawn...” I chuckled softly. “She was always such a daddy’s... I mean... Shit...”

“Shh... I didn’t mean...”

“I know.” I kissed him softly then whispered, “I’m sorry this was so hard.”

“It’s easier now that I’m with you.”

“ANDIE!” Juice suddenly called out as he popped the top off another beer. “Have you told Happy about the first time you shaved your head?”

I turned on Happy’s lap to glare at Juice, but he all he did was smirk at me as he continued to drink from his bottle. I then stood up to shift and sit on Happy’s other thigh while I picked up a stray bottle cap. After I was settled on his lap again, I flicked the cap at Juice and grinned when I saw it bounce off his neck hard enough to leave a mark.

“Ow... Fuck,” he cursed out. He pulled his hand back and saw blood on his fingertips. He then turned towards me with an indignant, “ANDIE!”

“What? You totally deserved that!”

“Jesus… You drew blood!”

I picked up another bottle cap, but before I could lift my hand to aim, Happy engulfed my entire fist in his and lowered it to the tabletop. I wouldn’t look at him, so Happy said, “You’ve piqued my interest.”

I glared at Juice as he quickly blurted out, “It was supposed to be for charity.”

“It WAS for charity,” I growled out as I tried to raise my hand again. Juice immediately held up a hand as he picked up his bottle and made a show of drinking from it. When I felt assured that he would keep his mouth shut, I explained, “The summer before senior year the cheerleading squad came up with a great fundraiser. It was a hair drive for a cancer charity. Everyone got pledges to cut their hair. What no one told me was that whoever got the most pledges was supposed to shave their head bald.”

“And you got the most pledges?” Happy asked when I fell silent.

I nodded answering, “Between SAMCRO, their Prospects, Hanger-Ons, Croweaters and surrounding charters, no one came close to my total.”

“Alright. And…? Uh…?”

I smirked and had to bite my lip to keep from laughing at his hesitation. “Cindy waited to break the news at the big finale party. Since everyone, including Jax and Opie, knew that was the end goal, I had to just roll with it. The President of the organization that manufactured the wigs was there to do the honors… so… I just let him shave my head… without complaint.”

“But don’t worry. She got her revenge. She…”

Juice once again fell silent when I turned to glare daggers at hi. “Thanks, Juan Carlos. I’ve got this.” I then turned back to Happy and gave him a reassuring kiss. “So… After I had my head shaved, there was I party for the returning seniors. I took Tommy Douglas out to the forty-yard line and fucked him.”

“You did?” Happy asked in a tone that I couldn’t quite decipher.

I smiled as I stroked his cheek and explained, “He was going to be the starting Quarterback and Cindy was supposed to be the head cheerleader, so…”

“Wow. And I thought I was creative with MY punishments.”

I blushed but before I could reply, Juice laughed loudly then said, “How do you think she got her ‘Ice Queen’ rep?”

Happy and I slowly turned to glare at him at the same time, but I let him take the lead as he asked, “And how would you know about all of that? That was years before you were a Prospect.”

Juice squirmed as we continued to glare at him before he answered, “Kozik… He… uhh… He wanted to warn me about trying…”

Juice trailed off again when he noticed someone marching down TM’s driveway with purpose. Happy’s arms instinctively wrapped themselves tighter around my waist. I know he was ready to protect me, no matter what, so I tried my best not to brush him off hastily, even though I knew he was overreacting. I leaned down to claim his lips to distract him as I eased myself off his lap. After I was on my feet, I kissed his forehead then whispered, “I promise, I’ll be right back.”

I rushed towards Dad’s motorcycle to catch up to my brother as I called out, “Hey Opie! What…? What are you doing?”

He just kept walking past me, so I grabbed for his left arm, crying out, “OPIE!”

“What?!” He questioned without turning to look at me. “Do you want to ride it?”

“No… But…” He then plastered a “For Sale: Inquire Within” sign to the bug screen of Dad’s bike and then turned to just walk away. That wouldn’t have been so horrible except that he kept moving past me without sparing another glance in my direction. He just marched back down the driveway, almost as if I wasn’t even standing there.

But I couldn’t leave it at that. I turned and shouted out at his retreating form, “OPIE! OPE!” But he kept waling away from me. As I stared at his back, I felt the first tears fall before I yelled, “OPE… HARRY!”

However, not even that could stop him. He just kept his back turned to me as he continued to walk away from me. What the hell? I knew that he was annoyed with me for retreating to the club, but now he was flat out ignoring me? What the hell was I missing?

Thankfully there was someone to catch me when I started to fall. Happy was wrapping his arms around my waist and picking me up before my knees could completely buckle under my crippling pain. He didn’t say anything as he carried me back to his seat by the table where we had been seated previously.

Chucky met us there and patted me on the back saying, “I’m so sorry.”

We all turned our eyes towards Opie as he finished his path to his bike as I replied in a surprisingly calm tone, “Not your fault, Chucky. But thanks anyways.”

We then sat there in silence, drinking beer for… God, I don’t even know how long. Seriously, Chucky made sure that we never noticed when our bottles were empty because he was replacing them with a fresh cold one so quickly.

But Happy was the first one to refuse the first cold beer bottle… for the both of us. After he successfully waved Chucky off, he hugged me into his chest saying, “It’s been a long day, I think we should call it a night.”

“Yeah, sounds like a plan,” Juice replied in a somewhat uncertain tone.

Happy helped me to stand up and then walked me towards his bike without another word. Before we could get too far, I stopped and turned to where Juice and Chucky were cleaning up out empty bottles to declare, “Make sure whoever buys it pays a fair price, okay?”

Chucky just nodded while Juice quietly replied, “Of course.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The sound of someone pounding on the door woke me up from my dreamless sleep. I let out a loud gasp as I sat up on the bed. I was disoriented from being woken up so abruptly and immediately started to panic and cried out, “He’s here to kill me! Oh… My… God… He’s going to finish me off!”

For some reason I didn’t try to get off the bed. Maybe I was so petrified that I was frozen in my spot. Either way, I most definitely jumped in my spot when I felt someone wrap their arm around me. Happy must have been able to tell that I wasn’t myself because he didn’t’ try to hug or kiss me, he just kept his arm loosely wrapped around my shoulders.

“Princess, you’re okay,” he finally said when I continued to hyperventilate. “It isn’t Clay Princess. You ARE safe.”

That finally got me to turn and look at him. “It…? It isn’t? Then…?” I paused and jumped in my spot when I heard another very loud knock on the door. “Then…? Who is it?”

He hugged me close and kissed the side of my head before answering, “I don’t know. But you stay here and I’ll go find out.”

“Happy!” I cried out as he moved off the bed. He paused and gave me a confused look. I took a couple of deep breaths to try to calm myself down before I added, “Be safe.”

He smiled and looked like he almost wanted to laugh at me. Instead of doing that, he leaned down to give me a reassuring kiss. “Always, Princess.”

I sat back on the bed and watched as he pulled on his boxers and jeans. I felt my cheeks start to heat up because I had completely forgotten I was just as naked as he was until I saw him pull on his t-shirt. He kept his shirt untucked so that he could more easily conceal his handgun in the small of his back.

He paused at the door to give me another reassuring smile and I finally felt myself relax. Hell, I didn’t event react to the loud knocking that continued after he disappeared out our bedroom door. Seeing him take it all in stride made it easier for me to believe that everything was going to be okay. Nothing ever seemed to rattle him and I know I hoped that that trait would rub off on me at some point with the amount of time I spent with him. Don’t get me wrong, I know that things DO affect him, ESPECIALLY if it had anything to do with me or his mom, but you had to be a very special person for him to allow you to see just how much those events could hurt him.

Soon enough my curiosity got the best of me and I found myself getting out of bed to get dressed. I really just pulled on a pair of Happy’s sweatpants and one of his hoodies, but no one needed to know that was all that was covering my body. I didn’t think about my hat until I was well into the hallway, but I didn’t turn back to retrieve it. Depending on who it was at the door, I might want to use my injury to my advantage. You see, the large scar across the back of my shaved head seemed to make a lot of people really uncomfortable. They would usually start to feel so self-conscious about staring at it that they would abruptly leave the room. Tonight, I was hoping that would translate into the unwanted visitor leaving more quickly so that Happy and I could get back to bed.

As I got closer to the front door, I heard an unfamiliar voice ask, “What about Ms. Winston?”

Happy opened his mouth to reply, but I beat him to it asking, “What about me?”

The Deputy Sheriff wasted a brilliant smile on me before he answered, “Ms. Winston… Would you happen to know where we might be able to find Jackson Teller, Filip Telford and or Alexander Trager tonight?”

I know I just scowled at him because I was still waking up and those names didn’t register. Happy immediately recognized the reason for my confusion because he quickly clarified, “He means Jax, Chibs and Tig.”

“Oh…” I looked up at the clock on the wall then said, “Since it’s the middle of the night, my best guess would be in bed at their home or the clubhouse.”

Deputy Kane smiled then replied, “The clubhouse is our next stop. I actually meant if they are not at their home or TM, is there anywhere else they might go?”

“Gemma’s?” I answered with a shrug.

He smiled softly replying, “We have deputies there on an unrelated matter and they aren’t there. But there’s nowhere else you can think of where they might seek refuge?”

“Not off the top of my head.” I let out a humorless laugh then added, “Then again I have a brain injury that caused me to have amnesia for a couple of weeks, so I’m probably not your best resource right now.”

“Andie,” Happy sighed out as he hugged me into his chest. “I’m sorry, Deputy, but like I told you before, I haven’t seen any of those three men since our meeting this afternoon. I’ve been helping Andie settle back here at home since she got out of the hospital.”

“Of course. If you do happen to see any of them please be sure to give us a call. Thank you for your time.” Kane passed Happy a business card and then turned his attention over to me. “I’m sorry we disturbed your rest. I hope you can get back to sleep so that you can continue to heal.”

As he turned to walk away, I whispered, “Thank you.”

Happy released me to walk over and close the door. When he turned back towards me, I quickly called out, “I know you told me to wait in the bedroom, but I…”

“Shh… It’s fine, Princess. I was going to come and get you when you came out. Really, it’s fine.”

“Oh. Okay. So…? What was that all about? Why are the Sheriffs looking for those three in particular?”

Happy walked me over to his couch and sat down with me. He remained silent while he helped me get comfortable in his arms again. When he pulled out his phone, I thought he was going to ignore my question, but as he scrolled through his contacts he finally answered, “Sheriff’s have issued warrants for their arrest.”

“What? Seriously? Why?”

Happy stared at me for a second before he realized that I really didn’t know anything about this timeline. I was unconscious in a hospital while Tig botched his hit and run and hilled an innocent woman. That led to the MC having to help save him. I know Happy didn’t want to tell me all the details, but they killed a member of a rival gang during their retreat and Tig killed a cop after being forced to watch his daughter die a horrifying death. Fuck, that was a lot to take in. Thankfully, whomever he was calling had answered their phone, so I got a bit of a reprieve to digest it all.

While he spoke on the phone, I got up and moved towards the kitchen. I opened the cupboard above the microwave, but I suddenly didn’t feel like having a glass of scotch. I know, crazy, but I didn’t. Instead, I grabbed us each a bottle of beer and met Happy back at the couch.

He was finishing up his call as he claimed the beer from me. I settled beside him and sipped from my bottle. After he hung up his phone, Happy picked up his beer to drink from it. I tried not to glare at him because I know that would just amuse him. Not the outcome I was looking for right now.

After a few minutes of drinking beer in silence, I finally broke down and asked, “So? Are you safe?”

He smiled and answered “Yes, they are. Gemma…”

By this time, I had finished my beer, so I place my empty bottle on the coffee table. When I didn’t immediately say anything, Happy finished his beer and calmly placed it next to mine.

I then smiled and said, “I really don’t care. I’m sorry, but I’m too tired to care about that right now. They’re safe, great. That’s all I need to know. Well… That and if you’re ready to go back to bed because I totally am.”

“Yes,” he replied simply. “After that I’m ready to get back to bed.”

As we walked arm in arm to the bedroom, I asked, “Will you tell me about that call tomorrow?”

“Of course,” he answered, stripping me out of his clothes. “When we’re having breakfast, I’ll tell you all about it.”


	15. I'm a little bit hopeful

I’m A Little Bit Hopeful

I sat in the garage watching Happy and Juice talk with Frankie Diamonds and Chucky. I had been working on one of the cars but I started getting a horrific headache, so I had to take a break. That coincided with Happy and Juice approaching the open bay door, so I had no qualms sitting and openly starring at my boyfriend. He was in ‘work mode’ so he had a very serious look on his face while Juice explained to Frankie that he was going to be joining them on their run. Damn. That meant they were leaving TM, possibly for the rest of the day. That would also mean that I would lose my eye candy. Yes, I’m a love-struck goober who spent more time watching her boyfriend than she did working some days. But in my defense, my concussion was really messing with my head and I had to take frequent breaks to soothe away headaches or dizzy spells. Was it my fault that those breaks usually happened when Happy was in or around the garage? Of course not. It was just a pleasant coincidence.

After Juice was finished talking, Happy made eye contact with me and smiled. I can’t tell you how much that melted my heart and helped me to feel at ease. It amazes me how much emotion he could put into one look. Right now, all I saw was adoration and I really hoped he saw the same sentiment on my face.

He started to talk towards me but stopped suddenly. He didn’t say anything to me before he turned to walk towards an approaching motorcycle. Even from this distance I could tell who it was right away. I jumped to my feet and hurried to Happy’s side. By that time, Opie had parked and was chatting with the guys.

“Where they at now?” Opie asked.

Juice replied, “Stockton, a friend of Gemma’s. Trying to get some protection before they turn themselves in.”

Happy wrapped an arm around my shoulders to hug me into his side as he said, “I’m heading up there now. I know Jax would want you there.”

“Yeah, man,” Juice confirmed with a semi-enthusiastic tone.

Opie looked over towards Frankie while he combed his fingers through his beard with a pensive look on his face. After a couple of seconds of contemplation, he answered, “Looks like you guys got it covered.” He then made eye contact with me and asked, “You doing okay?”

I nodded as I hugged my arms around Happy’s waist. “A little headachy, but I swear I’m not overdoing it.”

“Good.”

Frankie then jumped in asking, “Where’s your patch, man?”

Opie barely moved his eyes to glare at the other man before he reestablished eye contact with me. I just gave him a reassuring smile because I knew we didn’t have to say anything else to each other. He knew I was with Happy, so I was safe. Plus, he didn’t know Frankie well enough to ask anything personal in front of him and I felt the exact same way.

After we shared our look, he shifted on his bike, put on his sunglasses and then turned over the engine to drive away. Frankie gave us an indignant look to which Juice replied, “He’s not much of a talker.”

“Yeah... well... Let me tell you somethin’... Next time I see him riding without his patch, I’m gonna kick his teeth in. THEN he won’t be much of a talker.”

I let out a loud, annoyed scoff, but before I could voice my own scathing reply, Happy hugged me more tightly into his side. I knew what he was doing and why, so I forced myself to relax in his embrace. My hope was that he would loosen his hold on me, thank that he had pacified me so that I could turn and give Frankie a piece of my mind.

Happy must have figured that out because he didn’t loosen his grip on me at all. But he did turn to Juice and say, “We should get going. I’ll meet you guys by our bikes.”

“Yeah… Okay, man.” Juice then nodded his head towards their bikes saying, “Let’s go, Frankie.”

After the other two started to walk away, Happy released me from his embrace to push me to arm’s length. “Princess…”

“I know, I know. A good Old Lady doesn’t talk back. But I wasn’t going to tell him to go fuck himself as your Old Lady, I was going to do it as Opie’s sister.”

“Princess,” he sighed out with a chuckle. He leaned down to kiss me then continued quietly, “I would appreciate it if you didn’t do it as either one. Please?”

I tried to glare at him, replying, “Damn it. Why do you have to be so polite and respectful? Okay… I’ll hold my tongue… this time. But if that douchebag says anything else about hurting my baby brother, he will feel the wrath of Andie.”

“Alright. I’ll try to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” He kissed me again then asked, “Are you staying here? I don’t think we’ll be staying in Stockton long or I’d offer to bring you with us.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I think I gonna head to the club house and rest until this headache goes away.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll try to call and let you know when we’re heading back as soon as I can.”

“Thanks. Be safe.”

We shared yet another kiss and then we turned to walk arm in arm towards the clubhouse. After we parted ways, I stopped by one of the picnic tables to watch them drive away. Juice waved and tried to give me a reassuring smile as he passed by, so did Happy. I waved to them but I know I was scowling at Frankie Diamonds as I did it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I didn’t actually make it into the clubhouse. Fresh air was sounding much more appealing than stale air, so I laid down in the boxing ring while I waited for my headache to go away. It was actually pretty perfect. I was far enough away from the garage that the noise the tools made didn’t reach me. Plus, I wasn’t all that visible either, so no one bothered me while I was laying there.

Once I was able to think and move without feeling like I was going to lose my lunch, I moved over to the picnic table. I then pulled out my phone to call Cody. He had taken over running both the bar and the restaurant when he didn’t hear from me and I hadn’t shown up to either place for over a week. Since that was so out of character for me, he had tried calling me and when he couldn’t reach me, he finally broke down and called Opie. (He knew Opie was my emergency contact and had his number for that same reason.) After Opie told him about what had happened (okay an edited version), Cody didn’t hesitate to step up and take charge.

Have I mentioned how awesome my staff is? Everyone pitched in to make sure my absence wouldn’t have a negative impact on either business. Everything was running so smoothly that I really didn’t have to go back at all if I didn’t want to. Not that there was a chance that I would ever be an absentee owner, but it was reassuring to know that was one less thing for me to worry about while I was healing.

“Andie…? Sweetheart, can I interrupt a second?”

I hit send to deliver my text message and then turned to answer, “Of course, Mom. What’s up?”

“Have you heard from Happy?”

“No, not yet. Why…? Did something happen? Did he get hurt?”

She rushed to my side and hugged me while she remained standing. “No, Baby. Everything is fine… even with Fawn.”

I let out the breath I hadn’t noticed I was holding then said, “Thank, God. So…?” I gently pushed out of her embrace to ask, “Okay… what’s going on?”

“Alley just delivered a marriage license…”

“Marriage…?” I inadvertently interrupted. “Who…?” I trailed off and didn’t finish that thought when I saw the unimpressed look on her face.

“My son. I’m going up there to do the delivery. Since you three have been so close, I thought you would want to come too.”

“I… Yeah, I would. Let me just go tell Phil so he doesn’t freak out and do something stupid like call Happy in a panic or something.”

She shook her head then said, “Chucky will tell him. Nero told me he has a judge willing to do the ceremony but it’s a very short window of time, so we have to go now.”

“Oh… Okay, so… sooner than later. Gotcha. I’ll just…” Again, I trailed off because she held up my hat and jacket that she had dropped on the ground to hug me. I took them both from her and laugh. “Or you could have all those bases covered. Okay, I guess I’m ready to go.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Turns out Gemma’s ‘friend’ was a pimp and the guys were hiding out in a brothel. Alright, it was a legal escort service and Nero wasn’t out back smacking the girls around to get paid or anything, but I still felt dirty when I walked through the doors. Dirty and ugly. Did the girls really have to look like they were porn stars? Well, I guess they wouldn’t have many clients if they didn’t, but still…

I pulled my cap further down my forehead and placed my hood over top of it. I could just barely make out Gemma’s feet to follow her and Nero to the room where everyone was waiting. I even felt myself recoil further under my hood when I heard Nero quietly ask about my attire. I couldn’t see the look on his face when Gemma quietly explained, but I could picture it. It was the same look of pity everyone gave me when they saw the huge scar on my bald head that was on prominent display whenever I took off my hat. Well, everyone but Happy. His expression was usually one of adoration and devotion or unmitigated rage.

As we entered the room, I could hear a variety of reactions. Well, actually more like a variety of shocked gasps. Awesome. No one knew Gemma was coming for the ceremony. That also meant no one knew I was coming with her. Fuck. That meant I had to find Happy so that I could explain everything to him as soon as possible.

But the universe doesn’t like me. No, scratch that, it fucking HATES me. Before I could even pull the hood off my head, I felt an arm wrap around my waist. He pulled me into his side and pressed his lips to my ear and through the material of my hood to say, “Why are you hiding under your hood, Princess?”

I turned to face him and gave him an indignant look. “You aren’t being serious, are you?”

He pulled my hood off answering in his low, gravelly tone, “Deadly.”

“Happy… Look where we are. These women… they… they could be starring beside my sister in law in the next ‘Debbie Does Dallas’ remake.”

He nodded then tried to take my hat off answering, “And so could you.”

I took a step back retorting tearfully, “Only if it’s fetish porn.”

“Andie…” He sighed out as he pulled me into a hug. “You are my beautiful Princess. Your hair is growing back but you don’t need it to be beautiful.”

I tried to snuggle against his chest, but my ball cap prohibited that action. Begrudgingly I pulled it off and tucked myself under his chin. “You’re too nice, Grumpy.”

He kissed the top of my head then nearly whispered, “And you’re the only person who would say that.”

“Because you ARE too nice to me,” I countered with a chuckle. I then moved up to my tiptoes to kiss him. “Thank you for being you. I really needed that and wish I came here sooner.”

“You’re here now, that’s all that matters.”

Before I could reply, we heard a jovial voice say, “Andie, you same too?” I turned to face Jax and was engulfed in an overly enthusiastic hug. “Thank you for being here.”

I managed to move my arms around his waist so I could hug him back. “I would never miss my bro’s wedding.”

He laughed at that as he kissed my head. “Lucky for me. How’s your head feeling?”

“A little achy and a lot shitty about how I look… so nothing too new.”

“You look like a badass.”

That caused me to laugh. “Shit between you and Happy, I’ll be blushing nonstop. Congratulation on the nuptials. I love you, Bro. You deserve nothing but the best for you and Tara.”

“Love you too, Sis. You know I feel the same about you and Happy, right?”

“I do. Thank you. But… I think Nero is trying to get your attention.”

He checked over his shoulder to verify I was telling the truth. “Shit, you’re right. Thanks again for being here.”

He kissed my forehead quickly and then passed me off to Happy. Yes, he literally did a hand off of me to my boyfriend. Not hat I was complaining. I needed familiarity and lately Happy was the only person who could guarantee that for me.

He kissed my forehead then asked, “You okay, Princess?”

“Yeah…” I hesitated then answered. “No… I… I think I need to sit down.”

Happy guided me over to a chair and as he sat me down, he asked, “Did you want some water?”

I nodded replying, “Please? It couldn’t hurt.”

“Of course. Get comfortable and I’ll be right back.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The service was… brief and to the point. Shit. I might not have ever wanted a huge ceremony or party, but this? Wow, I never thought I would see something this succinct. Shit, when I… Fuck! NO! IF! IF I ever got married, I wanted something more than this. Honestly, the ceremony Opie had with Layla was the closest thing that I had envisioned for myself, if I thought really hard about it.

But Dad was gone and now so were so many dreams. Without him being around, did it really matter if I ever got the Father/Daughter dance? Would it be better if I just did something like this?

Shit… Marriage… HA! Like that was really in the cards.

“Princess?” Happy asked when I didn’t stand to clap with everyone else.

Jax was at my side before I could properly catch up. He hugged me close and quietly said, “Thanks again for being here, Sis.”

I kissed his cheek and made sure we were looking each other in the eye when I replied, “Always have your back, Bro.”

The smile I saw on his face was one I hadn’t witnessed in a long while. Hell, the last time I saw him this happy, I think it was when he told me that Tara was going to Prom with him. He and Opie had been voted in a Prospects and they were going to Prom with the women they planned to marry. I was so happy for them. I really was, but that didn’t mean I had to watch their love fest. My boyfriend had broken up with me earlier that day because he finally got word that he got a full ride to his college of choice. That, in his bluntest of terms, meant he was going to be drafted. I f was going to be a Top Prospect, he couldn’t… and these are his words… couldn’t be tied to a biker whore. Yeah, I broke his nose that night, but that didn’t slow down his trajectory. I should have broken his arm… in three places.

I hadn’t really wanted to go to the dance, so it was the perfect excuse to hang out at the clubhouse that night. That’s how I was available to commiserate with Jax after Tara broke the news that she was moving out East for school with no plans of returning to Charming, ever. That night we shared a LOT of alcohol and even more truths. We told each other stuff that night w had NEVER planned on telling anyone, ever.

That was the day we knew that we were truly brother and sister. There was zero chance we would ever have our closeness turn romantic. Contrary to popular belief, we never kissed that night and the spooning while we slept was unconscious. We drank, talked and passed out on the bed. When we woke up in each other’s arms we had a brief moment of tenseness. But just as quickly, I hugged him close and told him I loved him and that he could call me whenever he needed to talk. I hated myself for the sad look I put on his face when I told him I was heading to NYC for school because it erased the last trace of a genuine smile that I ever saw on his face.

But now it was back. Damn. Now I really wish that Opie was here. This heartwarming family reunion felt incomplete without him.

Jax shook my hand then asked again, “Would you be my witness?”

“What?” I replied automatically as I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Then his question registered. OH MY GOD! “Yes! Yes, of course! Where’s the pen?”

He passed it to me and wrapped an arm around me to lead me over to the marriage certificate. I quickly scrawled my name on one of the witness lines. When I was done, I moved to pass the pen back to Jax, but it was Tara who was now standing there. She took the pen and placed it on the counter so that she could lead me away from it by my hand.

Thankfully she didn’t lead me too far away because Happy was looking to intervene. Not that I gave him any reason to be concerned. In fact, I shook my head and gave him a reassuring smile more than once to get him to back off. I was with Happy and she was married to Jax, so this couldn’t be part of any sort of power play. And she really didn’t need to try to intimidate me in anyway.

SO, what was happening?

“How are you feeling, Andie?” Tara asked quietly.

I watched as she ran her fingers over the scar on my forearm. “I’m… I’m pretty good. Kinda confused…”

That got her attention. She let go of my arm and took half a step back away as she said, “I’m sorry. I know we haven’t been… close. But I want to fix that. Jax says you and Opie are his family… Heck, he calls you his sister so casually that it sounds as natural as when Opie says it. You’re important to him and… I want us to be okay with each other.”

“Okay. I’ve… uhh… I’ve…”

“Always wanted that,” she jumped in. She smiled more easily then continued, “I’m sorry I fought you on that. But… If you’re willing to forgive me…”

“Of course. Tara? Us fighting? That… That’s never been a thing.” I smiled then turned my head to show her my scar as I asked, “In the spirit of… Sisterhood, could you take a look at my scar and tell me what you think?”

“Are you having problems with it?”

I shook my head and looked at her over my shoulder. “No… Not really, but I can’t see it properly, no like my arm, so… it… it bugs me.”

“Oh… That.” I turned completely around to give her a questioning look. “No, not… it’s… It’s just that Jax has always said that you feel more at ease when you have a handle on things.” She lowered her voice then added, “You’re an Alpha being forced to follow. I get that now.”

When I started to smile more easily, Tara finally answered, “It’s looking really good. In fact, the scar is a lot smaller than I expected it to be. Who…? I mean… Do you know who did your surgery?”

“It was Dr. Cunningham at Sutter Memorial.” Her eyes widened slightly, so I quickly asked, “Does that mean something to you?”

She nodded and suddenly felt myself starting to panic. She recognized it right away and gripped my shoulders tightly. “Nothing bad, Andie. It just makes sense. He started as a plastic surgeon before he moved into neurology. Your scarring is minimal. Heck, one your hair grows out, no one will even know it’s there.”

“That’s… that’s what Happy said too. Thanks Tara.”

She smiled and squeezed my shoulders as she replied, “It’s the least I can do to make amends.”

I lunged forward to hug her then. “We’re square, Tara. You don’t owe me anything, but…”

“But what?” She asked as she pushed out of my embrace to look me in the eyes.

I nodded towards Jax and replied, “Be good to him. You guys finally found your way back to each other. Be good to each other and enjoy the happiness you deserve… as a family.”


	16. That we all carry on

That We All Carry On

We watched as Bobby walked up to Jax to pass him a cell phone. That looked like a really good sign. At least I assumed it was by the look of relief on Jax’s face when he finished the call and passed it back to Bobby.

I tried to watch the two of them while they talked quietly but my sight line was suddenly blocked… by Happy’s broad chest. He cupped the left side of my head with his fingers in the shape of a ‘V’ around my ear. Normally I would get angry with him for shielding me and for being over-protective, but the look on his face told me I was wrong. He was being protective, not because of club business but because he genuinely cared about me.

“Hey, are you feeling okay, Princess?” I started to nod but I couldn’t complete the action because of the way he was holding my head. “You and Tara… You’ve always…”

I surged up to kiss him and gently teased, “You worry too much.”

He tried to glare at me as he retorted, “You don’t worry enough.”

“Because this isn’t a problem. Tara and I are finally on the same page. We’re good, I swear.”

He brushed away a stray tear that escaped out of my right eye. “Then why are you crying?”

‘Things are finally… settling down with Tara and Jax and…” Happy pulled me into a hug as I started to cry harder. “Opie should be here. HE should be a part of this too. I wish my whole family was here. This doesn’t feel complete without him.”

He ran his hand up and down my back to comfort me the best the he could. “I’m sorry, Princess,” he whispered against my head. “This should be a happy day for you, not one that brings you to tears.”

“I’m okay,” I replied as I eased out of his embrace. I swiped my hand covered in my sleeve over my cheeks. “I’m… I don’t think I’m sad. I’m just exhausted. Can you take me home so I can nap before the guys turn themselves in? Please?”

“You don’t…” He started as he dried my cheeks with a tissue.

I glared at him and when he fell silent, I retorted, “I’m going and if you won’t take me, I’ll just call Gemma.”

“Okay…okay. But first, let’s go say our goodbyes to the newlyweds.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As we all sat in the clubhouse, the tension was so thick it was stifling. We all knew we were here to say goodbye, but the killer was that we didn’t know how long they would be gone. Yeah. Jax heard from the Cartel, but they couldn’t guarantee they could line up protection in time. That meant that Damon Pope would most likely get his wish; he would more than likely be able to pluck a few feathers off more than one crow.

Goddammit! He couldn’t win. We couldn’t let him, not like this. They came too far, worked too hard to go out like this. Plus… we had lost enough of the heart of this club; we couldn’t lose our soul too.

“Hey… Are you okay?”

I kept my eyes closed as I rubbed my temples replying, “I’ll be okay. It’s just… I didn’t sleep well and my head…aches.”

“I’ll get you some water,” Happy stated firmly as he stood up.

I caught his arm and shook my head. “It’s not that.” I opened my eyes to meet his as I swallowed down the last of my scotch. “The air in here… it’s… stale. I’m gonna… I just… I’m going to step outside and get some fresh air before the Sheriffs get here so I can say a proper goodbye to the guys, okay?”

“Okay. I’ll come get you when we hit the ten-minute mark.”

“Thanks, Grumpy,” I replied as I kissed his lips.

He walked me to the door so that no one would try to stop me. As I stepped out the door, I heard Gemma call out to me, but Happy was there to stop her from following me. I have no idea what eh would say to her, but I was confident he knew the right words. If anyone could find a way to calm down our tumultuous mother hen, it was Happy. He didn’t say much because you didn’t have to waste your breath when you were able to speak the perfect words to get your point across without rambling like I did.

Fuck, that must be nice. I still felt like a toddler babbling away, hoping their parents would understand what I needed. Lucky for me, Happy seemed to be able to read between the lines whenever I started rambling. He seemed to know what I was thinking before I did sometimes. I always found comfort in that. ESPECIALLY today.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Somehow, I found myself laying in the boxing ring again. I think this had become one of my favorite safe havens because it reminded me of Happy. The first time I ever saw him was in this ring. The club was celebrating something or another. I stopped by to ask Gemma’s advice about my new bar and I had caught a glimpse of him from afar.

I’ve never been a fan of watching anyone fight, but I couldn’t take my eyes off him that night. Even though it was just for fun, he moved with a deadly precision. I wasn’t watching a fight, it was a dance and it was… beautiful. Gemma had invited me to stay, but I quickly declined. I wasn’t ready to face my dad at that time.

As I laid in the middle of the ring, I couldn’t help but to wonder how my life would differ if my answer had of been ‘yes’ that night. What if I had met Happy before David decided to make is home and pursue me? What if I had of gotten closer to the club before Donna was murdered? Could I have made a difference? Could all of the pain and destruction have been avoided?

I wiped a tear away and shook my head. There’s no point in play the ‘what if’ fame. It was one with no way to win.

_So, there’s no point falling into that pit now._

That thought was abruptly cut off by the sound of an approaching motorcycle. Since everyone was inside the clubhouse, there was only one person it could be. I sat up and smiled when I had my suspicions confirmed. Opie was here. I don’t know why, but I instantly felt more at ease the second that I saw him enter the parking lot.

He was just finishing parking his bike when I made it to his side. I didn’t give him a chance to dismount or remove his helmet before I hugged him tightly and quietly exclaimed, “You’re finally here.”

“Sorry it took so long.”

I sniffled a breath and shook my head. “Doesn’t matter. The family is finally all together. Come on, let’s go have one last drink together before we get torn apart again.”

“Uh… Sis…?”

I turned towards the direction of his gaze. “Fuck,” I cursed under my breath when I saw the Sheriff’s truck drive onto TM’s lot, followed by what looked like the entire Sheriff’s department. Shit. Was it 8pm already? Why the hell did time have to pass so damn fast when bad shit was about to happen?

I must have made a move to head towards the clubhouse, but Opie stopped me. He kept his arm around my waist and gently pulled me into his side. “Sis, it’ll be better if we hang back.”

I wrapped my arms around his waist to hug him replying, “You’re right… you’re right.”

We watched as Ally Loewen met Lieutenant Roosevelt at the door. She took a piece of paper out of his hands and then took a step back. Shit. This was really happening.

As they started escorting the guys out of the clubhouse, Opie lead me towards them. The guys were saying their final goodbyes before they offered themselves up to be cuffed. I guess you could say it was peaceful. But I couldn’t help but to laugh when Chibs stopped forward, one finger salute held his on each hand. Of course, they couldn’t go without some form of protest.

“So, you came to say goodbye,” Lt. Roosevelt commented in an amused voice as he walked towards us.

Opie nodded answering, “Yeah.”

Then Opie took a large step away from me. I think I reached out to stop him, but that just resulted in me holding a handful of his cut. I stared at it as I tried to piece everything together because it made no sense that he would take it off.

That was until I heard a very loud THWACK. BY the time I looked up, Opie was rearing his arm back to punch Eli again. What the fuck was he doing? Assaulting a police officer would…

“Fuck,” I cursed out as I ran towards the mass of Sheriff’s deputies who were now forcing Opie’s arms behind his back to cuff him.

I couldn’t get close to my twin. Hell, before I could even think of forcing my way past anyone in a brown uniform, I was being pulled away from the melee. Well, not pulled, more like carried away. I didn’t have to turn around to check who was behind me because I knew it was Happy right away.

“I just want to say goodbye to him. Please?” I pleaded before he could carry me too far away.

He put me back on my feet once we were standing with everyone else from the club who was standing outside and quietly replied, “Behave, Princess.”

I gave him a half-hearted glare over my shoulder as I walked away. Everyone had calmed down no that all four members of SAMCRO were in cuffs, so I diverted my course towards Lt. Roosevelt.

“I’m so sorry about what my brother just did, Lieutenant,” I started with sincere regret in my tone. “I… I don’t know what got into him, I swear.”

He gave me a half-smile replying, “Thank you for the sentiment, Ms. Winston, but you don’t have to apologize for your brother. You don’t control his actions.”

“That’s true, but I know he won’t do it and you deserve an apology because that behavior is inexcusable.”

“Thank you again.”

He shook his head as he suppressed a chuckle and turned away. I then placed a gentle hand on his shoulder to get his attention again. After he had turned around with a confused look on his face, I asked, “I know it’s kind of out of line to ask but… would you be okay with me saying goodbye to my brother? I wasn’t expecting… and now… well…”

His whole facial expression softened as I started to lose my train of thought. “Sure, go ahead. Deputy! Hold up a minute with, Winston.”

“Thank you, thank you so much, Sir.” I sprinted over to Opie and wrapped him in a hug then quietly scolded him, “You fucking idiot! I could kick your ass for that!” I felt him chuckle as I leaded back to look up at him. “Watch your back and take care of each other.” I placed my hand over the spot where his ‘A’ tattoo was and added, “I love you, Baby Bro.”

“Love you too. I promise we will.”

He leaned down to kiss my forehead before he was led away by a Deputy. I then walked over to Happy’s side and tucked myself under his arm. We all stood back and watch as the were escorted to a prisoner transport truck in silence. I don’t know about everyone else but I know I got completely lost in my own thoughts. I couldn’t stop wondering what was going to happen next. Would they really have protection by the time they made it to county? Or would Damon Pope get his wishes granted and be able to off them? Here’s hoping we got a win on this one.

“Are you ready to head home, Princess?”

I nodded with my head resting on one of Happy’s shoulders. “Absolutely. Lead the way, Grumpy.”

Happy took me by the hand to walk me over to his bike. We said a quick goodbye to everyone but that was it because what else could we really say? We all hoped for the best, but we were realistic enough to try to mentally prepare ourselves for the worst. And if the worst was to happen, it wasn’t something you wanted to talk or even think about until it happened. It was somewhat… okay really superstitious but it fell in line with the old adage of ‘don’t poke the bear’. Don’t discuss the worst-case scenarios or you might cause them to manifest… Or feel really guilty if they did happen.

Once we got to Happy’s bike I started to put on Opie’s cut. Why? Because it was in my hands and I couldn’t carry it AND hold onto Happy for the ride home. Did I think those things before I did it? No, it was just something I automatically started to do. Just like I would if I was carrying my own jacket or backpack or something else like that.

“ANDREA!”

I jumped when I heard Happy angrily shout my proper name. I also completely froze as I tentatively moved my eyes up to his face and timidly asked, “Yes, Happy?”

“You can’t wear that.”

“Wear what?” That’s when it hit me; I was putting on Opie’s cut! Fuck, that was a MAJOR faux pas. “Shit!” I pulled it off my right forearm and threw it onto the seat of his bike. “I swear I didn’t mean to put it on… At least… not consciously… Really! I didn’t!”

“It’s okay, Princess,” he replied in a much less severe tone. “Please, don’t cry. I didn’t mean to yell… I just needed to get your attention.”

He hugged me close when he noticed Bobby and Gemma had stopped their conversation to watch us. They obviously had heard him shout out my given name too. And everyone knew nothing good came after hearing a terse ‘ANDREA’, especially if I was at TM. I immediately melted into this embrace because I wasn’t upset about him admonishing me. I deserved it and he really was just looking out for me. The cause of my tears was more frustration and exhaustion. It had been a long day and I had tried to work too long at the garage before going to Stockton. Even though Happy had taken me home to nap, I wasn’t able to sleep or even properly rest. I had tried calling Opie, but he wouldn’t answer his phone. (It never occurred to me that he might not be able to because he was riding out to talk to Lyla. In my mind it was a conscious decision on his part so that he could avoid talking to me.)

Plus, seeing Opie punch the Lieutenant really shocked the hell out of me. Since I was dealing with a concussion caused by a traumatic brain injury, all of the day’s events were overwhelming and exhausting. And when all of that hit me at once (along with my bone-headedness) it all added up to tears forming. I seriously hated how my brain worked sometimes.

“I know you didn’t and that’s…” I stopped and took in a deep breath to calm myself down. “I’m just exhausted from… fuck from everything. Thank you for stopping me. But…? Can you…?”

“Of course,” he replied quietly.

He then picked up Opie’s cut and carefully folded it. I watched as he stowed it into one of the pockets on the side of his bike with a sad smile on his face. The last time I had been in possession of my twin’s cut was when Charming PD had come to the clubhouse to arrest him when Kyle had left him high and dry. David had been nice enough to pass it to me so I could give it to Donna to hold onto until Opie was released from prison. That also meant I had the dubious task of telling my sister in law that her worst fears had become a reality. Don’t get me wrong, I did so willingly but I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t let out the biggest sigh of relief when Gemma showed up to take over comforting a completely distraught Donna later that night.

I carefully climbed onto Happy’s bike and wrapped myself around his back. Thankfully I was able to hold off my latest round of tears until he had his bike started. My silent sobs were easily concealed by the rumble of his motor and any shaking caused by those sobs were masked by the movement of his bike. I was able to cry myself out by the time we got home. All I had to do was dry my cheeks and Happy wouldn’t be any wiser.

Yeah… right. He had a sixth sense about my emotions and must have known I was crying during the ride because he passed me a couple of tissues over his shoulder before he dismounted. I took them with a quiet thanks and quickly went to work at drying my cheeks.

Once he was standing, he pulled my face forward to give me a reassuring kiss. “I’ll start the kettle while you get ready for bed.”

I stared up at him from where I was still sitting on his bike and just gaped at him for a couple of seconds. “You’re too good to me.” He just shook his head and tried to brush off my compliment. “No, you are. But I have to admit, right now, I’m… conflicted.”

“Conflicted about what?”

“I’m beyond relieved to have you here to take care of me, especially right now. I was a mess the last time Opie was locked up. Having you by my side will help keep me relatively sane. But in the next breath I wish you were going with them so you could keep them all safe.”

“Well, I’d rather be staying with you right now.”

“Really?”

“Really. Taking care of you is infinitely better than being in prison.”

“Yeah… That makes sense. But I hear guys give better head because they gain their knowledge from personal experience.”

He stared at me in wide eyed disbelief for a second before he held out a hand. Without a moment of hesitation, he pressed the back of it to my forehead as if he was checking my temperature.

“Happy?”

“Sorry. Just checking you don’t have a fever that’s making you delusional. But you don’t, so I guess I should laugh at your attempt at humor.”

Now it was my turn to glare at him. “Yes, you should always laugh when your girlfriend is being funny.” He continued to stare at me with a blank look on his face, prompting me to ask, “Well?”

He shrugged then answered, “Sorry. I was waiting for you to say something funny.”

I continued to glare at him as I playfully slapped his chest. “HAPPY!” I smirked and added, “Just for that I should make you carry me to bed on top of you waiting on me hand and foot.”

Now it was his turn to smirk. He placed his arms under my thighs and easily lifted me off his bike before he carried me bridal style towards the house. “That I will do gladly any day, Princess.”


	17. But part of me still thinks that we are just stardust

But Part Of Me Still Thinks We Are Just Stardust

I woke up to the sound of someone knocking loudly on the front door. At first, I was tempted to roll over and ignore it, but when I found the other half of the bed still empty, I got an unwelcomed reminder. I was home alone. After we ate dinner together, I finally fell asleep on the couch.

When Happy carried me to bed later that night, I woke up briefly. Happy kissed my head then quietly said, “Go back to sleep, Princess. You need your rest.”

At that time, I nodded and rolled over with every intention of snuggling up into his side. But Happy hadn’t gotten into bed. When he saw me sit up to look for him, he came back to my side to explain, “I was going to check on Tara while you slept. I wanted to see if there’s any updates.”

“Really? That’s awesome. Give her my best.”

“I will. Sweet dreams.”

He kissed me one last time and then helped me settle back into bed to tuck me in. I closed my eyes until I heard him start to walk away. As he approached the door, I opened my eyes to watch him walk away. Damn, I really needed to buy him some tighter fitting jeans. The baggy pants and his cut really didn’t do his firm muscles justice. It was always better to watch him walk to the bathroom for his morning shower because he didn’t waste any energy pulling on any clothes. And we both usually opted to sleep naked so that we didn’t have to worry about disrobing if the mood struck us.

Now, though, I just hit my palm against his side of the bed and cursed Happy’s kind heart. Not that I was genuinely upset about him checking on Tara and the boys. But I was selfish and really wanted him to be here to deal with whomever was knocking on our front door.

I forced myself to roll out of bed and heart the persistent knocking continued. As I pulled on my robe I called out, “COMING!”

But that didn’t help because they just kept knocking. And yelling something that was too muffled for me to hear.

FUCK! I was awake and coming to the door. Maybe if they stopped knocking for a damn second, they would hear me as I walked through the living room yelling, “COMING!”

“Jesus,” I huffed out as I pulled open the door. “What the hell…?” The ‘do you want’ went unsaid when I saw that it was Lt. Roosevelt standing on our front doorstep.

He removed his hat as he turned around and gave me a sad smile. “I’m sorry to wake you, Ms. Winston but…”

“Happy isn’t here. BUT! HE was with me all day, so whatever he’s been accused of, it wasn’t him, I swear,” I interrupted in a near panicked tone.

He reached out a hand to touch my forearm to get me to make eye contact with him. “I’m not here about Mr. Lowman.”

He didn’t say anything else after that. But he did maintain steady eye contact until my breathing started to slow down. Shit. I hadn’t noticed that I was hyperventilating until I met his unyielding gaze. I think that realization helped more than anything for me to try to regain my composure.

Once I had calmed down and was breathing at a more normal pace, Lt. Roosevelt finally continued, “Again, I’m sorry I had to wake you, Ms. Winston. Would you mind if I came inside?”

I didn’t have to give any conscious thought before I gave my answer. It was the same answer I had been trained to give since I had first learned how to speak.

“Sorry, Sir. I can only let you in if you have a warrant.”

That answer seemed to take him aback. But he recovered quickly and smiled politely as he replied, “Ms. Winston I’m not here to search for anyone or anything. I just need to speak to you and I feel it would be prudent if we were seated for this conversation.”

_Seated? What the hell? What could he need to tell me that was so important?_

I shook my head then repeated, “I’m sorry, but I can’t allow you in, Sir. Please, just tell me whatever it is that you need to say so that I can get back to bed.”

“Alright,” he answered, not sounding like he wasn’t really happy about the fact that he was still standing out on the front doorstep. “The San Joaquin County Correctional Center requested we attend your residence to speak to you because they weren’t able to reach you by phone.”

“I put my cell on silent when I’m sleeping. Everyone from the Club and my businesses know to call the house if it’s an emergency and I don’t answer my cell.”

“Ah… That’s understandable. And again, I know how important it is for you to get proper sleep while you’re healing, but this unfortunately can’t wait.”

“Can’t wait?” I questioned around a lump forming in my throat. “What can’t wait?”

“Ms. Winston…”

“Andie. Just fucking call me Andie, Eli. We don’t need all of the formal bullshit.”

Not surprisingly, he looked annoyed at that comment but that expression was replaced with a professional, bland look just as quickly. “Alright… Andie. I was asked to speak to you because there was an incident at the center tonight…”

“An incident?” I asked in a high-pitched voice because panic was trying to over-take me again. “What…? Kind…? Of…? Of…? In… Incident?”

He reached out to catch my arm as I started to double over as I tried to catch my breath. But I was full on hyperventilating, so I couldn’t take in a proper breath no matter how hard I tried. It didn’t help that tears were not gathering in my eyes as the lump on my throat grew uncomfortably large.

“Andie, maybe you would prefer to sit down,” he offered again in a soft, caring tone.

That helped me to sober up enough that I could protest (although I was still hyperventilating pretty badly, so I know I didn’t sound all that confident), “No. Puh… lease… St-stop de-de-delaying. Please… Please just tell me.”

“Okay… Okay…” Lt. Roosevelt moved his hand up my arm so that he could help keep me upright as he continued speaking. “Andie there was an incident where Mister… uh… Your brother. He got into a fight with another inmate…”

“NO!” I interrupted with a horrific wail. That’s when I finally started to connect the dots. “NO! NO…! They… they… NO!”

Suddenly my knees gave out on me, but I didn’t fall. Eli looked as surprised as I felt about the fact that I wasn’t down on the floor, which told me that he wasn’t the cause. No, I was still upright because two strong arms had caught me from behind. He literally caught my dead weight so that I remained upright, so effortlessly that Eli actually looked startled.

“Why don’t you come inside, Lieutenant?” Happy offered as he picked me up to carry me over to the couch.

Lt. Roosevelt nodded but he couldn’t find the proper words to respond. Instead, he continued nodding as he closed the front door. When he turned around, he paused at the threshold as he watched Happy comfort Andie. When he was asked to take over the post in Charming, he did so happily. It was mostly because he knew with his experience with gangs that he could really help to clean up Charming and rid it of the criminal parasites that were draining the life blood of this small town.

But once he arrived here something unexpected happened. His wife had actually befriended some of the wives and girlfriends of the motorcycle gang. That included the woman who was now being comforted by her boyfriend because he the ‘fearless lawman’, had reduced her to a choking mass of ugly tears. Those friendships had in turn had started to put a human face on the gang that he now sometimes slipped up and called it a ‘club’ from time to time.

He actually shook his head as he watched Happy try to calm Andie down. When Eli had first laid eyes on Happy Lowman as he rode into town, he initially had worried. Over the years Happy had been a suspect in numerous crimes, not just throughout the State of California, but the Southern USA as well. Eli figured that mean he might have bitten off more than he could chew But Rita had been quick to remind him that Happy was dating Andie… Andie, who was a sweet, upstanding businesswoman in the community. She had also dated the Deputy Chief of Police. If Andie could see enough good in him to be in a relationship with her, that must have meant that he had some redeemable qualities.

Eli hadn’t seen it and he kept trying to write off Rita’s insights because he figure he would never see it. Well, up until now. Right now, he didn’t see a man who had been suspected of carrying out some of the worst hired hits he had ever had to investigate or consult on. No, right now he just saw a concerned boyfriend who was trying to do everything in his power to try to calm his girlfriend down. But all of his efforts to console the distraught appeared to be a losing cause.

The two men sat in an uncomfortable silence while they listened to Andie cry. Lt. Roosevelt cringed a couple of times because she was sobbing so violently that it looked physically painful. She could barely get a full breath into her lungs, but that didn’t seem to impede her tears in any way. As he watched the tragic scene, Eli heaved out a silent sigh. This was the part of the job he disliked the most. He hated having to give bad news to people who, for all intents and purposes hadn’t done anything to hurt anyone or earn such horrific news. From everything Rita had told him about Andie and the searches he had done when he first moved to Charming, Andie appeared to be exactly what you saw; despite being the daughter of one of the founders of the Sons of Anarchy she had no criminal record and didn’t appear to have any direct ties to the criminal activities the gang was suspected of conducting. Her business was completely separate from the club and the member of SAMCRO seemed to respect that separation because they didn’t frequent her bar or restaurant. When he noticed that the parking lot at the Buffalo Bar and Grill rarely had a motorcycle in it, he stopped in for a meal. That soon turned into him and Rita going to the restaurant for dinner on a frequent enough basis that he had a few friendly conversations with the owner. He genuinely liked Andie and he had actually been the one to insist that she use his first name, especially when he was her customer and out of uniform.

Bu that familiarity just made this part of the job that much harder. If he had of been able to maintain a professional distance then maybe he wouldn’t be feeling the gnawing pain in the pit of his stomach. Or the lump that wanted to find a home at the base of his throat.

Eli couldn’t hear anything that Happy was murmuring into Andie’s ear, but he really wished he could. She was still crying, which wasn’t a surprise or completely unexpected, but her soul crushing sobs had finally started to subside. She tried to sniffle in a breath and as it always happens when she cries, her airway was completely obstructed. Eli spotted a box of tissues at the opposite end of the couch from where the couple was seated, so he hurried over to it to carry it over to Happy.

Eli cleared his throat quietly to get Happy’s attention. When the biker looked up, he had a slightly perturbed expression. That was until he saw the Kleenex box. The instant it came into view, his face completely relaxed and if Eli wasn’t mistaken, he would say he even managed to get a soft smile from the other man.

The ‘thank you’ Happy uttered when he plucked a couple of tissues was barely audible. But Eli could feel the sincerity by the look it put on Happy’s face. It was enough to ease some of the tightness in Eli’s chest.

After he took in a couple of deep breaths to ensure his voice would be steady, Lt. Roosevelt said, “I know I can’t say anything to ease the pain you’re feeling, but if there is anything I can do, please don’t hesitate to let me know.”

I blew my nose no less than five times then answered in a stuttered manner, “Th-th-thank y-you. I…” I had to stop there because I choked on either the breath I took in or my tears. That’s also when another thought hit me. “D-d-does…? H-h-has…? H-h-has s-s-some w-w-won t-t-told…?”

“Yes, the officials were going to call Lyla.”

I wanted to reply, but a fresh round of tears stole my words. Happy hugged me into his chest then said to Lt. Roosevelt, “Thank you for everything that you’ve done for Andie, Lieutenant.” He then picked me up and carefully placed me on the couch while quietly saying to me, “I’ll be right back, Princess.”

He then stood up and turned to say to the lawman, “I’ll walk you out, Lt. Roosevelt.”

“Oh… Right… Alright.” Eli looked past Happy to somberly state, “I truly am sorry for your loss, Andie.”

I wanted to thank him. I really did try to say it. But all I could do right now was hiccup between sobs.

As they walked to the front door, Eli quietly asked, “I heard a rumor that her father passed away earlier this year… Has she really lost both her father and brother this year?”

“Yes,” Happy replied in a clip, abrupt voice.

“Shit,” Elie cursed in a barely audible voice. At the door he put his hat back on his head to help him try to reground himself. “That… That’s more loss than anyone should have to experience. I know you and your… club have trust issues with my department, but we do have some very well-trained people in our Victims’ Services sectioned. Please make sure that Andie knows they are available to her. And anything she says to them is completely confidential.”

“Appreciate the offer,” Happy replied with his eyes focused on his girlfriend. “But that won’t be necessary.”

Eli followed Happy’s gaze to look at Andie as well. She was sitting up straight and looked like she was trying to appear confident and calm. Eli shook his head then replied, “I know she’s a strong woman, but…”

“That isn’t what I meant,” Happy interrupted when he noticed the Lieutenant’s misunderstanding. That caused Lt. Roosevelt’s to turn his eyes to Happy’s face. Happy had a familiar intense look in his eyes as he stared the Lieutenant down and added, “She’s still seeing the psychologist at the hospital where she had her surgery. If she wasn’t, I would suggest she contact your office.”

“She…? Oh… I…” Lt. Roosevelt shook his head to clear his head. “That’s wonderful to hear. But don’t forget we’re here to help.”

“We’ll keep it in mind.”

With that said, Lt. Roosevelt nodded his head then slipped out the door. Happy remined where he was standing until he heard the engine of the Lieutenant’s vehicle turn over because he was lost in thought about the other man’s last question. He had said he heard a rumor that Andie’s father had died. Where had he heard that rumor? And more importantly, from whom?

Happy would have been content to run through a mental list of possible candidates until he heard Andie blow her nose again. That noise coincided with Eli starting his vehicle and leaving. His eyes automatically jumped to where Andie was seated and all of his thoughts of a possible mole working within the club to feed the Sheriff’s department information disappeared. Now he only had one topic in mind; Andie, his Princess.

Happy rushed back over to the couch and lifted me into his arms again. I felt like a little girl who was being carried to bed after falling asleep on the couch by her daddy. My head fell to his shoulder as I finally started to relax a minute amount.

“I… I… I… Sh-sh-should…”

“No,” he retorted in a firm but loving voice. “Right now, you need to rest as much as you can.”

“B-b-but…”

“But nothing. You want to comfort her, so you need to rest so that you’ll have the strength to do that.”

“I… uhh…” I stopped to try to let my brain process what he had just said. I didn’t want to admit he was right, but I couldn’t argue with his logic. “But I… I… I don’t think I can sleep.”

“That’s fine, Princess,” he said as he started to carry me towards our bedroom. “But I said ‘rest’ not ‘sleep’.”

Oh, shit. He had me there. I couldn’t find the words to let him know I understood what he was saying or that I understood what he meant. That’s why I just kissed his cheek and then rested my head back on his shoulder while he continued to carry me to bed.


	18. And from the highest mountain

And From The Highest Mountain

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I’ll get it to you as soon as I can.”

I kept my eyes as I listened to Happy talking to somebody on the phone. I didn’t know who he was speaking to and in all honesty I really didn’t care. My brother was dead and the world could go and just fuck itself or burn to the ground. I really didn’t give a fuck, so long as it meant everyone could feel as miserable as I did because that’s all that mattered right now.

After Lt. Roosevelt left, I practically cried myself out in Happy’s arms. He didn’t say anything, he just held me and let me cry. I know he wanted to try to make things better for me, but at the same time what could he say? No one could fix this and there really wasn’t anything he could say to make me feel better so there was no point spewing empty sentiments.

Sometime during the night, I had gotten up to retrieve Opie’s cut out of the closet. I swear I don’t remember doing it but it’s the only thing that makes sense. After falling asleep… Okay, crying myself into exhaustion and passing out in Happy’s arms, I woke up, tangled in Opie’s cut. I had put it on backwards so that my arms were through the sleeve but it was resting across my chest instead of my back. It was a comfortable way to wear a jacket when you were sitting in a cinema watching a movie to keep warm, but not the smartest way to sleep. You see, it acted more like a straight jacket than a blanket when I moved around in my sleep. Not exactly comfortable, but that didn’t matter much to me.

Not that me wearing a straight jacket felt unwarranted. I really wouldn’t be surprised if someone suggested that I spend some time in a padded cell or for me to be taken away for some ‘time to myself’ or whatever line of bullshit the club offered in one of these situations.

As I laid on the bed trying to keep my thoughts as blank as possible, I couldn’t help but wonder to whom Happy had been speaking. I was pretty sure that it was Skeeter. He would be preparing Opie for… for burial and he would need his cut to do that.

Since Opie had… passed away while he was in custody, we would be able to give him a proper… send off. That meant having a wake at the clubhouse. It also meant that he would… spend eternity… be… be buried in his cut. And I’m more than certain that Happy had been tasked with retrieving it from me to get it to Skeeter so… he could do his job.

Well they could have it over… I mean, when I was done with it. It still smelled like Opie and I wanted to keep that with me for as long as humanly possible. In the front of my mind I knew that my brother was gone, but it didn’t actually feel like he was completely out of my life when I was hugging his cut and inhaling the familiar scent of leather mixed with Brut aftershave and sawdust. When those odors mixed together, they created a scent that was uniquely Opie in my mind.

After he had hung up the phone, I could hear Happy walk over to the bed. I had my back turned towards the door where he had been standing so it made it easier for me to pretend that I was still sleeping. I hugged my arms around my torso so he could have to practically wrestle the cut out of my grasp if that was his next plan of action.

Trust me, I geared myself up for a fight. But none came about. When Happy made it back to the bed, he climbed under the covers and wrapped his arms around me in a comforting embrace. After he had me hugged into his chest, he kissed the back of my head and said just over a whisper, “Sweet dreams, Princess.”

Sweet dreams? That was it? He wasn’t going to chastise me for clinging to a hunk of leather as if having it in my arms would help to keep my twin alive? I expected some kind of words of condemnation so hearing his soft, caring words actually hit me hard. I struggled to roll over onto my left side so that I was facing Happy. I actually had to completely untangle myself from Opie’s cut so that I could move properly. It was now laying on the bed behind me which gave me my full range of motion again so that I could hug Happy and pull him forward to kiss him.

“Thank you,” I whispered against his lips before I leaned out of our kiss.

He brushed a couple of stray tears off my cheeks as he asked (in a completely earnest tone), “Why are you thanking me?”

“For being you…” I kissed him again then added, “For not pressuring me… For… being you.”

He smiled and looked like he was trying his best to stifle a laugh. He placed one last soft kiss on my lips then hugged me into his chest again. Once he had me settled there, he rolled over onto his back so that I could cuddle into his side and use his chest as a pillow. I know he wanted me to fall back asleep but now that I had my head on his chest, I could hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat and I was loathed to close my eyes and miss hearing it. It was a slow, steady pace that rarely sounded like it would speed up or race for any reason, especially when we were laying in bed like this.

_What did Opie’s heartbeat sound like when he took his last breath? Was he scared? Did he see it coming? Was he alone? Did that…?_

Suddenly all of the questions that had started racing though my head when I first heard the news from Lieutenant Roosevelt came rushing back to me all at once. They were so overwhelming that silent tears started spilling down my cheeks while I tried to stop the questions I could never find answers to from running though my head.

Happy, of course, felt my tears drip onto his bare chest right away. He squeezed me into his side so that he could kiss the top of my head. “You’ll make it through this, Princess… Try to get some more rest…”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When I woke up later that day, our bedroom was bathed in sunlight and I was alone in bed. Shit. That meant I would have to get ready to go to Opie’s... to the clubhouse soon. That also meant that I would have to... to... say a final goodbye to him... FUCK. He was really gone.

What do you wear to your brother’s wake? First step, get out of bed so you can look at what you have in the closet. Once you’ve seen the options, it’s easier to make your decision. Luckily for me, Cody had visited with a few choice accessories that were supposed to help me feel more comfortable when I went out in public. They weren’t meant specifically for a wake or a funeral, but I think they would help out a lot today, nonetheless.

It didn’t sound like anyone else was in the house... not that it really mattered because I planned on taking my time getting ready today. Yeah, I was dragging my feet and delaying the inevitable. But who could blame me? And I dare anyone to call me out on it.

After I finished showering, I detoured towards the kitchen to grab a glass of water. I felt like I had been crying non-stop for the past day and suddenly I felt really parched. In a way I didn’t want to drink anything, but I knew dehydration wouldn’t stop my tears from flowing freely. Somehow my body would find the fluids from somewhere in my body to force more tears to spill out of my eyes. If it couldn’t, then I would be reduced into a sobbing mess who would just have to dry heave to release that tension out of my body.

Since I thought that I was home alone, I wasn’t all that concerned with covering up. Sure, I had a towel wrapped around me to dry off after showering, but it left nothing to the imagination. It also meant that Rat got an eyeful when I passed the living room and I dropped my towel when I saw him. What can I say? Seeing someone sitting on the couch when I thought that I was home alone scared the shit out of me and he was lucky all I had in my hands was a towel.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry!” He called out from behind his hands that were now covering his face.

I quickly covered myself as much as possible with the towel as I angrily retorted, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I… uhh… I was sent to pick you up.”

“Pick me up?”

He tentatively pulled his hands away to gauge my demeanor because he wasn’t sure if I was genuinely confused or not. When he saw that I looked more angry than confused, he quickly explained, “Yeah, to take you to the clubhouse. Happy didn’t think you’d be up for driving yourself there today.”

“So, he sent you?”

“Y-y-yeah. Uhh… Phil’s picking up Lyla and you don’t know V-Lin so Happy thought you’d be more comfortable with me.”

“And you just let yourself into our house without announcing your presence at all?” I snapped out as I adjusted the closure on my towel while I glared at him.

“No!” He practically shouted as he jumped off the couch. “Happy gave me his key with strict instructions to make my presence known. I yelled when I came in… I yelled LOUDLY. I just thought that you weren’t in a talkative mood.”

“You’re right. I’m not in a talkative mood.” He opened his mouth to say… well I really didn’t give a shit, so I held up my hand to keep him from interrupting me. “Seriously, I have nothing to say to you… And I don’t know you well enough not to make you cry right now, so I’ll say this. I can get to the clubhouse on my own, I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Alright, but Happy…”

“Isn’t here right now, is he? But I am…” I stomped my foot and that finally got him to look at me. “And I’m the only legacy who still has a pulse other than Jax. Guess what that means?”

He stood up straighter and I swear I could hear him swallow. Good. He was finally starting to understand the pecking order. First and foremost, I was a Winston. I was the sister of a fallen Brother and the daughter of one of the founding members of the Sons of Anarchy. Rat was a Prospect, so it would do him well to remember he answered to me and NOT the other way around.

“It means I should… should…”

“See yourself out,” I finished for him.

“And if Happy asks…?”

He trailed off when he saw the annoyed look on my face. “You can tell him I told you to get the fuck out of my house so that I could get ready for my brother’s wake. Wait, no… my TWIN brother’s wake. And if he doesn’t like it, then HE can bring it up with ME.”

“But Andie…” He abruptly cut himself off as I glared at him. “Uhh… Ms. Winston…”

“Just go,” I replied over the rest of his mumbled words. “I’ll be able to get to the clubhouse on my own and Happy can kiss my ass if he doesn’t like that idea. Got it?”

“Y-y-yes, Ma’am. I’ve got it…” He actually tripped over his feet while he hurried towards the door. “But you don’t actually want me to say THAT to him, right?”

I gritted my teeth but swallowed my first reply. Sure, it was fun to play ‘Kick the Prospect’ but Ratboy didn’t deserve it from me. He seemed like a nice kid. Almost too nice to be SAMCRO. Just like Phil or… or… Opie. Well… Shit.

“No,” I finally answered while I fought back tears. “Of course, I don’t. Just tell him I needed some time alone. Tell him you were a huge help to get me to the point where I was feeling enough like myself that I wanted to… to drive myself to the clubhouse to say… say goodbye to… my brother.”

“Ms. Winston…”

“Andie,” I interrupted. “I’m jus Andie, Rat. But seriously, you should head back to TM.”

“Are you sure?”

I nodded the answered, “Absolutely. And if you don’t leave now, I WILL tell him you saw me naked.” His eyes went comically wide causing me to laugh softly. “But if you leave now, we can keep that between just the two of us.”

“Okay,” he finally answered as he hurried towards the front door. “But if you change your mind, please… PLEASE call me or Phil, okay?”

I smiled softly then said, “You two are the only members on my speed dial tonight.”

“Thank you,” he whispered with a relieved smile before he slipped out the front door.

I stared at the front door for a couple of breaths before I turned to head back to the bedroom, my glass of water was now completely forgotten. Now I had to find something to wear to go to a wake. Shit. Maybe I shouldn’t have sent Rat away so quickly because he was a good distraction from wanting to curl into a ball and cry.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Driving myself to the clubhouse was a brilliant idea. The fresh air hitting my face as I drove helped to chase away the headache that he been plaguing me from crying nearly non-stop for a day. My truck was still at Opie’s house, so I ended up riding my bike through the streets of Charming to get to TM. I don’t know what it was about being on my bike made me feel more free and alive, but it really did, no matter how long or short the ride. It also felt strangely fitting for me to arrive to Opie’s wake on my bike. It’s silly but riding my Honda felt like a bit of a tribute to both my father and brother and their legacies within the motorcycle club. What can I say? I still had a concussion from a traumatic brain injury. If my thoughts sounded crazy, the injury was most likely to blame.

When I got to TM, there were a few people milling around the parking lot. All of the bikes and cars parked in the lot looked familiar, which made not seeing Skeeter’s work vehicle there stand out. Was I early? Were they still waiting for him to arrive? Shit.

I parked by the row of bikes belonging to member of SAMCRO and other SOA charters so that I could find out. Please say I wasn’t super early, please? Don’t get me wrong, the club is my family and I love all… well almost all of them dearly, but I just wasn’t sure how much of them I could take. Happy was the perfect person for me commiserate with because he didn’t try to force a conversation our of me. He didn’t want, need or try to get me to talk about my feelings. If I felt like talking, he would listen. If I didn’t, he would just hold me and let a comfortable silence settle between us. But I couldn’t say that was the case with everyone else. Especially Gemma. They would all be asking me how I was feeling. What could they do? What did I need? If I said okay, nothing and nothing as my honest answers, they wouldn’t accept it. They would insist there was something I needed and as that back and forth happened, it would eventually turn into a fight.

How do I know this? Why would I think such a thing? Because it’s what happened to Opie after Donna was murdered. He had arranged for Mary to take care of the kids while he made arrangements and such, but that also meant that he had no buffer between him and people like Gemma when they offered to ‘help’. Before he could blow up at them, he decided to head out on a solo trip. That was the primary topic of conversation between the two of us while I was trying to get a flight home. At one pint he even told me he was kind of happy I wasn’t there with him in Charming. Yeah, I was pretty shocked to hear that too. And if I’m being honest, I was a little offended by hat comment too.

That was until he explained his insane logic. Okay, not insane once you hear it. Opie explained that by me not being home, I gave him an excuse to get away from everyone. If he wanted out of a conversation, he would just pretend his phone was ‘ringing’ (he kept it on vibrate most of the time) and leave the room to ‘talk’ to me. Most of those times he ended up calling me so that it wasn’t a total lie. I never would have thought about doing that because I would feel like I was being rude, but it was a brilliant plan.

_Damn,_ I thought as I dismounted my bike. _I wish Opie was here to… Fuck…_

I shook my head after I removed my helmet to clear my head of that insane thought. If Opie was here then there would be no reason for me to be standing in the parking lot of TM trying not to cry. And in a dress no less.

I barely had my helmet secured on my bike before I heard, “Andie? Luv…? Is that really you?”

I nervously combed my fingers though my shoulder length hair answering, “It sure is.”

Chibs hugged me tight before I could say anything else. The tears I had been fighting when I first got here resurfaced with a vengeance. Thankfully my face was buried into his chest because that completely muffled the sound of me sniffling in a breath. Somehow, I managed not to sob. That was a relief because there was no way he wouldn’t have felt that even if he couldn’t hear it.

I remained with my face pressed into his chest until I felt like I had my emotions somewhat under control, (Let’s be honest, there was no chance I would be able to get my emotions completely under control today.) I moved out of his embrace and smiled sadly. I reached up to touch the cut on his left cheek and quietly asked, “Did…? Did you get that in…?”

“Aye. We had a bit of a skirmish with some lads.”

“But I thought…”

“Tis nothing, Luv. Aye, we had protection, but prison is still a violent place. How are you holding up?”

I shrugged then shook my head because I didn’t think I could speak without crying. Chibs realized that was happening right away and pulled me into another hug. He kissed my hair then said against the side of my head, ‘We’re all here for you, Luv. We’ll help to get you through this.”

I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him back fiercely. I don’t know how long I let him comfort me before I pulled out of his arms to lean up and kiss his cheek. “Thank you, I know you are. I love you.”

“Love you too, Andie.” He kissed my forehead and gave my hands a comforting squeeze. “I

I only took a couple of steps before I was stopped by Bobby. He had been sitting at the table outside of the clubhouse and stood up as I approached him. No words were exchanged before I found myself wrapped in his arms and hugged into his chest.

“I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t, Bobby,” I interrupted as I leaned back to look up at him. “No, empty sentiments, please?”

“Alright, Beautiful.” He moved one of his hands from around my waist to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear. “I am curious about this new hairstyle because I thought you liked the look of shaving your head.”

“I am still almost as bald as Happy. But Cody brought by a couple of wigs and hats a few days ago and it just felt right. It’s going to be a tough day for all of us and I want us to be able to focus our attention properly.”

“That makes sense. I know you said no empty sentiments, but I’m still sorry your hurting and that this happened. If you need anything… and I mean ANYTHING, Beautiful, just call and we’ll make it happen.”

“Thanks, Bobby. Right now, I just want to know is…? I mean I don’t see Skeeter’s car here, so is…?”

“In the chapel,” he mercifully cut in to answer the question I wasn’t able to articulate.

“Okay. Thanks.” I leaned in to kiss his cheek. “I love you, Bobby.”

“Love you too, Andie. Did you want me to walk you in?”

I almost said yes, but then someone caught my eye. Just behind him I saw Happy slowly approaching us. Happy knew that everyone in the club was like family to me. Well, the older members. The three Nomads that had patched into SAMCRO still felt like strangers, but everyone else was like an uncle or cousin (in Juice’s case). Well, except for Clay… But everyone already knows that story.

“Thanks for the offer, Bobby, but my chaperone is right behind you.”

He turned with a confused scowl on his face to check who was behind him. When he saw Happy, he smiled. “Perfect. I’ll see you inside.”

He kissed me on the cheek on last time then gently helped to lead me towards Happy. As soon as I was within reach, Happy took both of my hands into his. I tried to move in to hug him, but he made sure to keep me at arm’s length. It felt weird for him not to hug me right away, but I didn’t get a chance to question him.

He reached up and ran his fingers through the length of my hair, marveling out loud, “It looks so natural. How does it feel? Is it bothering your scar at all?”

I shook my head answering, “At least not yet. So, is…?”

“Everyone’s inside. Layla is with him right now.”

“Shit…” He finally let me move forward to hug him. “I’m not ready for this. I don’t want to say goodbye.”

He held me close and stroked the back of my head to try to calm my tears away. “I know you don’t but it will help you to start to heal.”

And people wonder how he and I got so close so fast. He had given me the same type of sage advice during David’s funeral. He didn’t have to say much because he was able to say the right words to help me muster up the strength to get through whatever shitstorm I found myself in.

“I know you’re sick of hearing it, but we’re all here for you, Princess. I promise to do whatever I can to help you get through today, tomorrow and however long you need to grieve.”

“I know you will. Thank you, Grumpy.”

He held me in his arms for a couple of minutes before he turned to lead me to the clubhouse. He let me get lost in my thoughts and made sure that I wouldn’t walk into anything. Sounds like I’m trying to be funny, right? I wish. At David’s service, I was so distraught and distracted that I had actually bumped into a couple of people. Lucky for me it was Chief Unser and Constable Cobb, so they didn’t hold it against me. After that, Happy wrapped my left arm securely around his right so that he could steer me away for any other potential victims of my clumsiness.

At the door he paused with his left hand on the knob to look down at me and ask, “Are you ready?”

I shook my head emphatically replying, “Of course.”

He frowned at my false bravado, but he didn’t call me out on it. Instead, he leaned down to place a soft kiss on my lips and then pulled the door open. I hate to admit it, but I actually tugged on his arm to pull him back as he stepped through the door. It only took one questioning look from him for me to realize what I had done.

I immediately loosened my grip on his bicep so that I could run my hand up and down his arm. Once I felt him grip my hand tightly, I gave him a weak smile as I said, “Okay, now I am.”

He gave me a half smile at my attempt at humor. But again, he didn’t call me out on it. I wasn’t delusional enough to believe that this would last very long, so I had to remember not to abuse this power too much.

As soon as we got through the door, I felt someone touch my arm. I turned to tell them off, but that retort never made it out. As soon as I saw the taped up cut over his eye, I let go of Happy’s hand so that I could hug the newcomer.

“I’m so sorry, Sweetheart. He didn’t deserve to go out like that.”

I sputtered out a tearful laugh at that because it was the same thing he had said at David’s service. I would be tempted to tease him about it, but that didn’t feel appropriate. Plus, I had heard about him being the victim of a home invasion and seeing the damage… Trust me, you would cut him a lot of slack too.

“I agree. But… How are you doing, Chief? I asked as I brushed my fingertips over his cheekbone.

He caught my hand and gently guided it away from his face. “I’m alright, Sweetheart. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I know I don’t HAVE to, but I still do.” I hugged him again and quietly added, “And you can’t stop me.”

“I guess I can’t.” He kissed my cheek then looked me in the eye to say, “IF you need anything, I’m just a phone call away.”

“Ditto, Chief.”

As I continued to move deeper into the clubhouse, I was once again stopped by someone hugging me. Just like with Chief Unser, it was far from an unwelcomed invasion. At a time of loss, family came together to help each other through it.

“Andie…. I’m… I’m so sorry. If…”

A sob cut off the rest of his statement. My hand flew up to the back of Tig’s head and my fingers buried themselves into his curly hair. I went back and forth on a daily basis about how I felt about Tig. Some days I was so angry I couldn’t see straight. Those were some of the only days that Happy and I fought. Lucky for me, he was smarter than me and knew I was misdirecting my anger towards him because he was the closest target. He usually made himself scarce until I came to my senses. The primary cause for our fights was me demanding he tell me how I should feel about Tig. Should I be angry with him or if I should give him a pass because he was just following Clay’s orders?

Today was one of the days where I didn’t need anyone’s help to figure out how I felt. When someone was stifling a sob into your shoulder, you tried to ease their pain. Granted I did have a few exceptions to that rule, but they were very few and Tig didn’t fall into any of them.

“Shh… Tiggy, I’m just relieved you three made it out.”

“Andie, I…”

I silenced him with a kiss. It was a quick, chaste peck on the lips. We had shared many embraces like that since I was a little girl. Thankfully, tonight it stunned him into silence.

“Not tonight, Tiggy. Maybe we can talk about it some other day, but just… Not tonight, okay?”

He nodded answering, “Of course.” He leaned down to kiss my forehead then said, “I love you, Roo.”

“Love you too, Tigger.”

He kept a hold of my hand and asked, “Did you want some help getting through the crowd?”

“That’s okay, Happy…”

I lost my words when the chapel door opened. Layla stepped out and froze when she saw me. I don’t know how long we stared at each other, but suddenly, almost as if in a blink of an eye, we were holding each other, sobbing in each other’s arms.


	19. I went to make a sound

I Went  To Make A Sound

I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but I didn’t come back to myself until I felt Lyla kiss my cheek to get my attention. When she saw me wipe my cheeks to dry away my tears, she quietly said, “I’ll leave you alone to... to...”

I reached out to stop her when I heard tears trying to overtake her again. She stepped into my arms for another, albeit less intense, hug. “Thanks Layla. If we don’t catch up later, I’ll come by tomorrow, okay?”

“That sounds good.”

She gave me one more squeeze before she turned to leave the room. I kept my eyes on the door until it was fully closed while I tried to center myself to prepare for what I had to do next. I almost ran to the door to call for Happy to come in and hold my hand whil I did this. But I knew what he would say. He would tell me I had to do this on my own, that I wouldn’t be able to say a proper goodbye or what was really on my mind if anyone else was in the room.

“He’s right,” I whispered to myself, even though he hadn’t actually said those words to me. My eyes remained focused on the door while I took in a couple of deep breaths and summoned every ounce of courage I could muster.

You know when you’re watching a horror movie and the freaked-out girl hears a noise behind her? You’re sitting in your seat yelling at her not to turn around. DON’T investigate the noise. DON’T BE STUPID! Just RUN and GET THE FUCK OUT! 

That’s how I felt right now. If anyone was watching me, they’d tell me not to turn around and face the scary monster behind me. Not that I thought my brother was a monster, even though my favorite name to use to tease him was ‘Sasquatch’.

After I forced myself to turn around, I let out an uncomfortable laugh. I always wanted to spend more time in the chapel, but... But I never thought this was how I’d get that time in here. I was actually a little surprised that I could see into his coffin so comfortably. I know (although I usually hate to admit it) that I was vertically challenged compared to most of the members of SAMCRO... Heck when Opie and I went out together, it took a lot of time, energy and effort to convince people that we were siblings, forget about us being twins. I should add that it took a lot of effort on MY part. Opie was usually content to stand back and watch while I blushed and got flustered. At the time, I would just get  hella annoyed and pissed off with him. But what I wouldn’t give to hear his low chuckle while he tried, badly, to hold back his laughter. What I wouldn’t give to have him poke me in the ribs while I pretended to be annoyed.

Right now, I stared at the black box not wanting to step closer to it or look inside. If I could delay doing that then I could pretend that this was all just a bad dream that I would eventually wake up from if I gave it enough time.

“Stop being such a wuss,” I reprimanded myself out loud.

Before I had a chance to chicken out again, I stood up and looked inside and there he was... as serene looking as ever. Hell, if it wasn’t for his unnaturally pale complexion and the huge gash on his forehead above his right eye, I would have said that he was sleeping.

“Fuck...” I cursed through a sigh. I reached out to run my index finger over the cut on his forehead with a feather light touch. “What the hell happened? How did we get here? You were supposed to have protection. You were supposed to be safe. Why the hell am I standing here?”

I choked on a sob so forceful that I had to pause. I let myself give into the tears ever so slightly. If I gave them an inch then maybe my tears could be persuaded not to overwhelm me. Maybe if I let the tears out in slow increments, then I’d be able to get through the rest of today with a little bit of dignity.

Scratch that. Fuck dignity. No one was expecting met to keep my composure so why was I wasting so much energy on holding them back. Why not just let myself turn into a sobbing mess?

Because that wasn’t me. I was raised to be stoic and hard. You couldn’t survive in the MC if you were soft. Everyone would eat you alive and eventually you would get yourself killed. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen. As an Old Lady you were supposed to be feminine but with an edge. We were like those candies that were sour and turned sweet or vice versa. We had a tough, hard shell that would shred the inside of your mouth if you weren’t careful while you ate it to get to the sweet jelly filling. We were supposed to have layers where we could fight and defend ourselves while at the same time being docile and obedient to our men.

Well... That jelly filling was ready to come out.

I reached over and finger combed Opie’s hair like I always did when I was comforting him. That’s when every thought that was in my head came spilling out. “Opie... what am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to go on? I’ve never...” A sob choked me up enough that I couldn’t breathe for a couple of seconds. “I don’t know how to exist without you in my life. I’ve never had to and... and... I don’t know how to do it. I don’t WANT to do it. How could you leave me? How dare you abandon me! We were always supposed to have each other’s backs! But now you’re... you’re...”

I fell over with my forehead touching his shoulder while my tears overtook me. I couldn’t speak because I wasn’t able to take in a proper breath. Instead, I just hiccupped a couple of breaths while violent sobs racked through my body.

“Don’t leave me, Opie. Please, not like this,” I whispered after I got a full breath into my lungs.

I stayed standing at an awkward angle with my head resting on his left shoulder. Even though it wasn’t much of one, it was the only way I could hug my twin right now. Amazingly enough, his scent still clung to the leather and I was ready to breath it all in because... this was my last chance. After tonight it would be buried away... forever.

“Opie... I miss you so much it hurts already,” I whispered before I kissed his cheek. My red lipstick looked like a new cut on his left cheek even though most of it got on his beard. Seeing it there made me smile through my tears. Hopefully Skeeter wouldn’t wash it away so that part of me would stay with him forever. I know what you’re thinking, I’ve gone completely insane and I’m okay with that. I knew the was just a body and that it wasn’t really my brother, but it’s all that I had. He didn’t give me a chance to say a proper  goodbye before... this happened.

I kept my eyes on the lipstick stain on his cheek as I finger combed his hair back into place saying, “I love you so much, Baby Bro. And I pro... prom... I promise to always be there for Kenny and Ellie. I will do EVERYTHING in my power to make sure they feel loved every single day.”

I then pulled out a picture from the pocket of my dress. I had to brush away a couple of tears off of it while I stared at it through blurred vision. All of this was so surreal that I was feeling weirdly numb and distant. The only good part about that was that it helped to finally get my tears to subside.

I kissed the same spot on his cheek again while I tucked the sonogram photo of me wrapped protectively around him in our mother’s womb under his left hand. Once I was assured it was  safe there, I moved my lips to his ear and quietly said, “Say ‘hi’ to Donna for me. I love you so much, Ope.”

I stood back and took in a deep, snotty breath. THIS was the final goodbye. THIS was the last time I’d ever see my brother’s face in person. This... was the end for us.

And I didn’t want to leave... That meant that I HAD to go... NOW. Standing, bawling in the MC’s chapel wasn’t going to change anything. No amount of ‘what  ifs’ would change this outcome, so I had to stop torturing myself. At least for now. (I could always pick up this train of thought when I got home and could hide away from any prying, albeit legitimately concerned, eyes to cry myself to exhaustion again.)

At the door, I paused to try to regain my composure. I pulled another tissue out of my pocket to dry my eyes and cheeks and checked over my shoulder to make sure Opie was where I had left him. It’s stupid, but I was still expecting him to sit up and call out “Got you!” But that wasn’t going to happen, no matter how much I wished it to be true.

“I love you, Bro,” I whispered to the room before I turned and pulled one of the doors open.

_ You can do this, _ I silently coached myself as I pulled it open.  _ You can go out there with your head held  _ _ high. _ _ You can... _

As soon as I stepped out of the room, everyone went silent and turned towards where I was standing. Fuck, I thought shit like that only happened in shitty movies geared to make teens feel so inadequate that they would buy whatever material shit they were being told would fill a bottomless void in their soul. But no, it was a reality I was living right now.

Gemma was hugging Lyla and most everyone else looked like they had stopped talking, mid-sentence. Gemma whispered something to Lyla then let her go. As she took a couple of steps towards me, I realized that no, no I wasn’t ready to face everyone. I didn’t want to hear whatever they thought I wanted to hear. I needed more time to let this all sink in and come up with the line I was going to give back to them.

So, I did the only thing I could think of... I ran. At first, I didn’t have a destination in mind beyond ‘away’, but then I saw the ladder on the wall that led up to the roof. Perfect! Solitude AND fresh air!

XXXXXXXXXXX

“I’ll be right back, Sweetheart,” Gemma said quietly against Lyla’s hair.

The younger woman almost started to question Gemma about where she was going, but then her gaze followed Gemma’s. When she saw Andie standing at the door to the chapel, she quickly answered, “Of course, I’ll be here.”

Gemma simply offered a smile as her thanks. She only got about two steps away from Lyla before her path was blocked. Who would dare to do such a thing? Not many people. Usually Happy wouldn’t either, but he was willing to endure Gemma’s wrath for Andie.

“Happy, you...”

“I’m not moving,” he interrupted. That earned him an incredulous look to which he replied, “She just said goodbye to her twin brother. I think she needs some time to process.”

Gemma’s expression softened ever so slightly as she replied, “I know, but she shouldn’t have to do this on her own. We need to make sure she knows she isn’t alone... that she has all of us to help her through this. I know it must be devastating but she should keep everything bottled up. She should talk to someone.”

“And she will... when she’s ready.” Happy wrapped an arm around Gemma’s shoulders to turn her around and gently steer her away from Andie’s escape route. “But what can any of us say right now that she hasn’t heard already? Give her a few minutes, Mom. I’m sure she’ll be ready to talk soon.”

She gave his words a couple of minutes of thought before she finally replied, “You’re right. But if she doesn’t come down before we...”

“I promise, I’ll go and get her, Mom.”

That finally got her to relent. Happy watched as Gemma reestablished her post at Lyla’s side. After he saw the grieving widow hug the club’s matriarch, Happy then moved back to the bar. Phil passed him a bottle of beer with a tight smile on his face.

As Happy claimed it he said to Phil, “She’ll be okay, Filthy. Just give her some time.”

“I know,” Phil replied with the same strained smile. “I just hate knowing she’s hurting so much. She doesn’t deserve that much pain. I wish there was something I could do.”

For a split second, Happy wanted to be angry, but then he remembered something Andie had said when they were debating who should stay with her after she recovered her memories. She had been the first one to compare Phil to a guard dog; he was loyal to a fault and would rip out the throat of anyone that dared to threaten her. Happy still thought that he was the best person to play that role and he couldn’t argue with Andie’s logic.

Plus, she had called him another big, little brother. She had compared him to Opie enough times that Happy felt a slight pang of guilt for doubting her, for feeling the slightest hint of jealousy when he heard the young Brother’s concern for his girlfriend.

Happy took a swig from his bottle then said, “We all do, Filthy. We all do.”

XXXXXXXXXXX

Once I cleared the hatch to stand on the roof of the clubhouse, all of my memories up here hit me. That was alright because fresh air wasn’t the primary  reason I came up here.

** _ I poked my head through the hatch and bit back a sigh and a laugh. There he was. Opie was pacing up here. Seriously, it looked like he might wear a hole through the roof if he kept up this pace. _ **

** _ The visual of him falling through into the chapel actually did make me laugh. That, of course, got Opie’s attention. He turned with murder in his eyes until he noticed it was me standing there. It looked like someone had popped a balloon when you saw how quickly he deflated. _ **

** _ “Hey, Ope. I didn’t see you downstairs, so I wanted to check on you.” _ **

** _ He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. “I’m okay, Drea.” _ **

** _ I pinched his stomach so that he would loosen his hold enough that I could look up  _ ** ** _ into _ ** ** _ his face and say, “LIAR.” _ **

** _ “No, really. I’m alright, Sis.” _ **

** _ “Uh huh,” I teased as I led him by the hand to our favorite spot to sit and look over the parking lot of TM. “That’s why you’re singlehandedly ruining the integrity of the clubhouse’s roof, Sasquatch?” _ **

** _ That earned me a nervous laugh. “Have you heard anything?” _ **

** _ I shook my head answering, “No, but then again I just got here. When I couldn’t find you and... Dipshit said he didn’t know where you were, my focus was on finding you.” _ **

** _ “Dipshit?” Opie questioned with a chuckle. _ **

** _ I just shrugged it off. “He earned that nickname. It’ll take a LOT of  _ ** ** _ groveling _ ** ** _ for me to use his real name again.” _ **

** _ “Fair enough.” He hugged me into his side while we were still sitting then quietly added, “Thank you for finding me.” _ **

** _ I wrapped my arms around his waist to hug him back. “Nowhere else I’d rather be, Baby Bro.” _ **

** _ After a couple of minutes, our tranquil moment was interrupted by a familiar voice calling out, “There you are!” _ **

** _ Opie and I didn’t move until Jax placed a six pack at our feet and then sat down next to me. I then turned and gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek. He reciprocated by passing us each a beer before he settled back in his place. _ **

** _ “So...?” I questioned, prolonging the word on purpose. Jax got an expectant look on his face, so I quickly changed tactics. I leaned down to pick up the bottles still in the box asking, “What do you guys plan on drinking because this is barely enough for me to deal with you two Drama Queens.” _ **

** _ “Drama...?” Jax started until it hit him. He then moved in close to my ear to stage whisper, “Should we call a roofer?” _ **

** _ “Nah, I think I caught him before he could do any permanent damage.” _ **

** _ “Ha! Ha!” Opie barked out as he finished his beer. “you two are hilarious.” _ **

** _ I leaned against Jax’s chest as he hugged me with one arm. I lifted my open bottle for Jax to tap the neck of his bottle against mine. “Good of you to notice, Baby Bro.” _ **

** _ He retrieved one of the beers out of the  _ ** ** _ six-pack _ ** ** _ box despite the annoyed growl I issued. In fact, he ignored it completely to ask Jax, “Have you heard anything?” _ **

** _ Jax shook his head as he helped me settle against his chest again. “No, they’re still deliberating.” _ **

** _ “But they’re  _ ** ** _ gonna _ ** ** _ vote yes, aren’t they?” I asked, trying not to sound too naïve or worried. “I mean what reason could they give to justify voting no?” _ **

** _ “None that makes sense to me,” Jax replied with a kiss against my temple. _ **

** _ Opie turned his gaze over to us and looked peeved for a split second. But then he finished his second beer in a couple of swallows and that seemed to help to change his mood. “Yeah... What he said.” _ **

** _ “Alright... good.” I finished  _ ** ** _ my _ ** ** _ beer then tossed the bottle over the edge of the roof. Once my hands were free, I hooked an arm around each of their necks to pull them into a hug. “Then it’s settled. This time tomorrow you two WILL be Prospects for SAMCRO. And that’s final. No more fretting.” _ **

** _ “But...” Opie tried to protest. _ **

** _ I let go of Jax so that I could put Opie into a proper headlock. “I said no... more... fretting, Baby Bro!” _ **

** _ Jax was in near hysterics, but we all fell silent when the hatch to the ladder flopped open. Kozik  _ ** ** _ popped _ ** ** _ his head through it to call out, “Hey. They’re ready for you guys.” _ **

** _ I grabbed Jax’s cheeks to peck his lips and then I turned to kiss Opie’s cheek. “I’ll have the tequila shots lined up at the bar.” _ **

Thankfully those shots were drunk in celebration and not commiseration. I knew that they should be voted in, but I couldn’t sit till while I waited to hear the verdict. Plus, I didn’t want to stay in the room alone with Kozik either. So, after I had every shot  glass I could find at the bar lined up and filled with tequila, I moved out to the parking lot to work off my nervous energy. Kozik was kind enough to call me in when everyone exited the chapel. He hadn’t let on what the outcome was, so I had to steel up my bravado to put on a brave face in case we had been wrong.

I flopped down on the part of the roof we always used as a seat with an audible sigh. “You trusted me then, Baby Bro. Why didn’t you trust me this time?”

And that’s when I started crying again. I guess this was my life now. I was going to cry at the drop of a hat. Or at the most random times and places where I had any sort of fond memories with my twin brother. Great that was... Fucking everywhere.

“There you are!” I heard a familiar voice call out, prompting me to lift my head out of my hands to check my surroundings. 

Seriously, I half expected to find an  eighteen year old Opie beside me. But no. That day was years ago and now he was... gone.

“How are you holding up, Andie?” Jax asked as he sat down beside me. Before he could wrap an arm around me, I stood up to step away from him. I wasn’t ready to talk yet. I really needed a few more minutes... hours... days alone to help me get a hold of everything. Just a few more moments of solitude. You know those moments that can last days or months or years?

“And...?” Jax tried again as he stood up to try to hug me. He finally fell silent when I took a large step away from him while shaking my head.

“Jax... I’m not ready yet.”

He  smiled sadly replying, “I get that, but...”

“NO!” I cried out over the rest of his thought. “No, you don’t! If you  did, you’d leave me alone and quit pestering me!”

“Andie, I...”

“JAX! STOP!” I started walking towards the ladder. “When I’m ready to talk I’ll come to you. So, please, please, just give me some time.” He held his hands up in surrender and sat down. That made me smile because that was better than words to prove that he was listening. Well, not just listening, but  respecting my wishes.

Before I lifted the hatch, I gave him a soft smile and said, “Thank you, Jax. I love you, Bro.”

“Love you too, Sis.”


	20. I thought that if I called, You would answer

I Thought That If I Called You Would Answer

Once I got down the ladder, I could hear the murmur of voices coming from the clubhouse. Fuck, I was so NOT ready to rejoin that crowd. If I went back in there, everyone would want to talk to me… or at me. Most of it would be what they thought that I wanted to hear. But anything that they could offer was just words and I didn’t want to hear any of that bullshit right now. Plus, it would be unfair of me to ask Happy to run that much interference.

_So? Where do you go?_ I silently questioned as I quickly tried to weigh my options. There was the apartment… _No! I hate that room. _ Or the ladies’ room… EW.

I was just about to resign myself to the fact that I was going to have to head back into the crowd, when I saw it, a portal to freedom. Alright, it was just the back door to the clubhouse, but it seriously did feel like I had finally seen the light at the end of the tunnel.

I forced myself not to run to it. It wasn’t like anyone was around to see or judge me, it just felt undignified. Once I was outside, I leaned against the door and took in a deep, cleansing breath. It finally felt like the weight pressing down on my chest had been lifted so that I could get oxygen into my lungs. I then closed my eyes and reveled in the feeling of being able to breathe easily because that meant that I could start thinking more clearly.

“The clubhouse!” I blurted out quietly. “Perfect.”

No, I didn’t mean THE clubhouse. I mean the playhouse the Prospects had built for Abel. No one would think to look for me there, mostly because there were few adults who could fit inside of it. Thankfully, I was petite enough it should work.

Even though people seemed to be coming and going, I managed not to be seen as I crossed the parking lot. Since it was away from prying eyes, I didn’t have to worry about being polite when I crawled up the child sized ladder to get inside the playhouse. I chuckled silently to myself because this wasn’t the first time me wearing a skirt had been a hindrance. No, it had been a problem as few times in the past.

**“Andie? Peanut? Are you in here?”**

**I swiped my forearm over my eyes and under my nose and then tried to take in a deep breath. Damn, I really needed to blow my nose. But that wasn’t going to happen, so I had to soldier through until I could find a tissue. **

**I took in another snotty breath then called out as loudly as I could, “No!”**

**All I could hear in reply was his laughter. Great, he thought I was funny. And why wouldn’t he? Everyone else thought I was a joke. Okay, maybe not everyone. But they definitely didn’t take me seriously. Whenever we were at a club gathering, I HAD to wear a dress. I begged Dad not to put my hair in pigtails, but he insisted I wear my hair like that because I looked so ‘cute’. I HATE being cute.**

**“Peanut…? Why are you in the playhouse in the dark?”**

**“Because I want to be left alone.”**

**He passed a tissue over my shoulder and waited until after I blew my nose before he said, “I didn’t think the party was that boring.”**

**I accepted another tissue from him and quickly put it to use. “Wanting to be alone means… y’know… no one else in the room.”**

**“I understand and normally I would leave you, but…” He twirled his finger around one of my pigtails adding, “But then I heard you crying. Who made you sad? Or… Hurt you?”**

**I huffed out an annoyed breath. “I’m not crying because I’m sad or hurt. I came in here to try to calm down so I don’t get into trouble for punching Opie and Jax in the face.”**

**That made him laugh again. I really didn’t need him laughing at me. I let out a quiet growl before I huffed out, “Uncle John!”**

**“I’m sorry, Andie. I shouldn’t laugh, but I was just imagining what they could have done to incur your wrath.”**

**“They’re stupid jerks, that’s what.”**

**He sat down beside me so that his back was facing my feet. This way he could see my face and I could see his but that was about it. I hugged my knees tightly then let them fall to the floor. He seemed preoccupied with seeing my face and drying my tears, so I let him pat a couple of tissues against my cheeks.**

**“Alright, I know that’s true, but what did they do this time to earn that title?”**

**“They acted like jerks.”**

**He barked out another laugh and this time I chuckled with him.**

**“I’m sorry, Peanut. I seriously don’t’ mean to laugh at you. I’m still just picturing different… Anyway. Could you be a little more specific?”**

**“They said I could play with them if I could keep up with them.”**

**“And you can always keep up with them, so…?” He stopped when I let out another growl. “What happened, Sweetheart?”**

**“This stupid dress happened. I don’t get why they get to wear jeans and I have to wear this stupid dress. If I was in jeans, I would be out with them, but no! Now I’m in here because they’re jerks and I’m going to be in so much trouble when I get home.”**

**“Trouble?” He hooked his index finger around a lock of hair that escaped my right pigtail and tucked it behind my ear. “I thought you said you came in here to calm down so you wouldn’t get into trouble.”**

**I turned just my eyes up to glare at him through my eyelashes. “So I don’t get into MORE trouble. Better?”**

**“Not really. Why are you going to be in trouble, Andie?”**

**“This stupid, ugly, frilly, girly, fuh… dress. I hate it. But Dad and Auntie Gemma said that I have to wear stupid stuff like this because I’m a young lady and I need to ‘dress the part’.”**

**“Which means…?”**

**“I have to wear stupid dresses!” I shouted over the rest of his question. When I saw the shocked look on his face, I swallowed my anger and more calmly said, “I have to wear girly dresses and pigtails even though I’m almost twelve. Next year I’ll be in high school and almost an adult. I don’t want to be treated like I’m a little girl anymore.”**

**“I understand that. But you still haven’t answered my question. Why are you going to be in trouble?” My eyes flicked down to my knees and John’s quickly followed. “Ann… Andie…? Is that blood?”**

**I nodded and sniffled in another breath. “The stupid lace got caught on a stupid branch. When I finally got myself free, I fell and got a piece of a bottle stuck in my knee. The jerks came back just as I was pulling the glass out of my knee. When they saw the cut, they told me to come back and take care of it. So, I did… I mean I tried, but I… I can’t get the bleeding to stop so it got on my dress and now Dad is going to be so mad at me… Unless I bleed to death. “I started crying and said through a sob, “If you left me alone, I might.”**

**“Andrea,” he called out in shock. “Peanut, I can’t let you do that. So, come on. Let’s get you cleaned up and fixed up so we can get back to the party.”**

**“Fixed…? How are we going to fix this?”**

**He stood up and held a hand down to help me stand. “Let’s get inside and I’ll show you how.”**

**I let him help me to my feet, but I cemented myself there and refused to move until he let me say, “But everyone will see that I ruined my dress.”**

**“Andrea? Don’t you trust me?”**

**I scowled at him using my full name answering, “Of course, I do, Uncle John. But I don’t understand how we’re going to be able to hide this until we get into the house.”**

**He looked down at the blood on my skirt that I was pointing to with a wide smile on his face. I waited for him to say something but he remained silent. Instead, he pulled out a cloth bandana from his pocket and wrapped it tightly around my wound. Alright, that made sense, but how…?**

**“Okay, Peanut, I know you’re too old for piggyback rides, but…”**

**“That way no one will see my dress! You’re a genius, Uncle John!”**

**As we walked into the house, we were stopped by a couple of people to check on me. Luckily one of them was Gemma. John told her he needed some help. At first, she looked like she was going to ignore him, but then her eyes met mine. I tried to conjure up the most sympathetic puppy dog eyes anyone has ever seen to sway her to help us.**

**“Oh… Alright. Let’s head in,” she finally replied.**

**Once we were inside, Gemma completely took over. She tasked John with patching up my knee while she found me clothes to change into while they worked. I tried to watch what he was doing, but I got distracted and confused when he pulled out a tube of crazy glue. The tape and gauze I understood, but crazy glue? Maybe Uncle John was losing it.**

**Nott that what I thought about him really mattered. He got it totally patched up without making it look like it took a lot of work. If I had done it, I probably would have used so much gauze that it would have looked like I had grown a second knee. But now it just looked like he had bandaged a tiny cut.**

**Once I was wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, she retrieved from Jax’s room, Gemma worked at washing the blood out of my dress. I had every confidence in her abilities to get the blood out, but when John was done, I moved into the laundry room to watch her. And yes, I was smart enough to stay out of her way so that she could get it done. By the time she was pulling it out of the dryer, I was in awe at both of their skills. Seriously, with my dress back on, there was no way to tell that my knee was taped up (and looked like it needed stitches from what Uncle John had said) or that I had had a blood stain the size of Texas on my skirt.**

**I hugged them each tightly practically cheering, “You guys are the best! Thank you so much! I love you!”**

**I ran out the door with a renewed energy but all of the wind disappeared from my sails once I ran into my dad. I must have stumbled because the had to catch me to keep me upright. And he used that to his advantage.**

**“Where have you been, Andrea?” He asked as his grip tightened around my upper arms.**

**“P-p-playing with Opie and… and… Jax,” I stuttered out.**

**His eyes narrowed as his neck turned bright red. “Don’t lie to me, Andrea.”**

**“I… I… I’m not…”**

**“You aren’t?” His grip got impossibly tighter with every word spoken. Great, now I was guaranteed to have bruises on my arms that I would have to hide for like a week. “Then why was Opie asking me if I knew where you were?”**

**OOPS! “Be-be-because I fell and had to get a Band-Aid for my knee before I got my dress all bloody. So, I ditched them to ask John and Gemma to patch me up.”**

**“How did you hurt yourself?”**

**“Playing with Opie and Jax.”**

**“Really?” He asked with a skeptical look on his face.**

**“Really. I wouldn’t lie to you, Daddy.”**

**That finally got him to let me go. “You should find your brother.”**

**“What? Why?”**

**“Just do what you’re told,” he retorted as he turned his back on me.**

**I stomped my foot, but Dad didn’t see or hear it. He was being passed a drink by one of the girls who hang around the club. Don’t ask me why but seeing him get all friendly with her made me even madder. As I folded my arms over my chest, I felt tears start to form. NO! I was NOT going to start crying again. No, not about that!**

**Except that I was, no matter how much I fought it. So, there was only one thing I could do, hid in the playhouse again. As I rushed towards it, Opie saw me and called out my name. He was tall enough now that he was actually able to catch up to me with little to no effort at all.**

**“Drea…”**

**I let out a frustrated noise as I pushed him away with an angry, “Leave me alone.”**

**He was so stunned that he didn’t move, so I was free to find my sanctuary. Getting mad at Opie help to squash some of the frustration with Dad. Good, now I didn’t want to cry. I just wanted to be left alone until this stupid barbecue was done.**

**“Drea…”**

**I turned when I felt him grip one of my shoulders. He stopped talking then because my right hand connected with his left cheek. CRAP! I didn’t mean to hit him THAT hard.**

** _Oh… well… He deserved it._ **

**“I deserved that.”**

**_What?_ I stepped away from him in a state of confusion. Had he really just said that? Had he really just agreed with me? Wait! Did I just think it? How could he agree with something I didn’t say out loud?**

**“What did you say?”**

**Now he looked like he was going to cry as he took a tentative step towards me. “I’m sorry. You got hurt and I shouldn’t have abandoned you.”**

**“You’re right, you shouldn’t have.”**

**He gave me an apprehensive smile as he presented a small bouquet of wildflowers to me. “Please forgive me?”**

**I stared at him for a couple of breaths while I decided on my next move. At first, I contemplated not accepting his apology, but then he flashed me his stupid puppy dog eyes. **

** _Dammit!_ **

**I then snatched the flowers out of his hands with a terse, “Don’t let it happen again.”**

**“I promise I won’t.”**

**He then pulled me into a hug, crushing the flowers between our bodies. The thought of us having petals on the front of our clothes made me chuckle. Opie assumed it was a good sign and that I forgave him completely, so he hugged me even tighter. Lucky for him, he wasn’t wrong.**

**“Is it safe to come in?” A voice called out from behind us.**

**Opie chuckled answering, “Yeah, it is.”**

**I remained in Opie’s embrace until it sounded like Jax was closer to us. I then turned around to give him a piece of my mind, but I fell silent because Jax had his own fistful of wildflowers that he had thrust out in my direction.**

**“Sorry Andie. How…? How bad is it?”**

**I took the flowers with a nonchalant, “Just a scratch.”**

**Opie was now standing beside Jax and then gave me the exact same unimpressed look. Damn. I guess I should come clean.**

**“Fine,” I added with a dejected sigh. “Uncle John said something to Auntie Gemma about stitches. But he taped it up and now the bleeding has finally stopped.”**

**“Ouch. Now I’m even more sorry,” Opie replied remorsefully.**

**“It’s fine, Ope. Thanks for the flowers.”**

**“You’re welcome,” he answered as we gave each other another hug.**

**“Do you want to head back out?” Jax asked while my brother and I hugged. I leaned out of Opie’s arms and just shook my head to which he let out a relieved sigh. “Good. So? Is your mom really going to send you guys to camp for the whole summer?”**

**And that’s how we spent the rest of the part, talking and playing games in the playhouse. It became our refuge during club functions when we were younger. Whenever we needed a break from the outside world, we ended up there. It was where Opie and I found Jax after we heard the news about his dad’s motorcycle accident. It’s where Opie and Jax found me when Mom announced she was moving me and Opie out of Charming with her. It’s also where Jax and I found Opie after he ran away from home when Mom made good on her threats to move us.**

I looked down at my knee and ran my finger over the scar that was still quite prominent. God, I missed that playhouse. It was our treehouse on the ground and everyone called it our clubhouse. After we learned how to drive, we didn’t go there anymore. We came to the MC’s clubhouse instead. Because we weren’t using it much when we started high school, it quickly fell into disrepair, so Clay had it torn down before our 17th birthdays.

“Jax? It’s time brother.”

I came out of my daydream at the sound of Bobby’s voice calling Jax down from the roof. A part of me wanted to run into the clubhouse to wat the procession, but an even bigger part of me wanted to stay out here. The latter part of me won out, but I did move over to the swings to watch the club make their way from the clubhouse to Skeeter’s Herse.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bobby patted Jax on the back as he stepped off the ladder. He waited a couple of seconds, expecting Andie to follow. When she didn’t appear, he turned to Jax and asked, “Andie isn’t coming down too?”

Jax gave him a confused look answering, “She isn’t on the roof.”

“What? Where…? Where is she?”

Jax shrugged. “She said she need some alone time. And who can blame her for that?”

“Very true. Poor kid has had more than her share of shit being thrown at her to deal with right now.”

“But then again, haven’t we all?” Jax countered with a soft, sad smile.

All Bobby could do was nod as he followed Jax back to their chapel.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I stayed on the swing, idly moving back and forth while I watched one of the men stray away from the pack after Skeeter started to drive away. Okay, that wasn’t accurate. It was Happy and he was making his slow, cautious approach towards me. By this time, I’m sure Jax had told Happy, if not everyone from the MC, about me biting his head off, so Happy was being extra cautious.

“Permission to approach?”

I smiled at that answering, “Permission granted.”

He stepped up in front of me and caught a chain for the swing in each hand. Once he had stilled the swing, I sat up straighter to kiss him. The look that action left on his face made me laugh. Jax obviously didn’t sugarcoat his last encounter with me.

_Shit. I’ll have to apologize to him._

“Are you ready to head home?” He asked after he recovered.

“Definitely.” He presented me with his bent right arm to me, which I immediately hooked my left around. “Do you mind driving? I’ll come back and pick up my bike tomorrow.”

“I could get one of the Prospects to drive it home for you.”

I shook my head answering, ‘That’s okay. It gives me an excuse to touch base with Gemma tomorrow… and Jax… so I can apologize to him.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“Alright, Princess. Your wish is my command.”


	21. But no one did

But No One Did

It’s amazing how normal life can feel after someone dies, how normal it feels not to see or talk to someone every day. Ever so often I would dial Opie’s number and the fact that he couldn’t pick up the other line wouldn’t hit me until I heard his voice came through the speakers during his voicemail greeting. We talked every single day when he was alive (except for his stint in Stockton. Even then he would call whenever he could and if I wasn’t available he would leave me messages to let me know he was alive and doing relatively well), so it was natural for me to dial his number without thing about it at random hours of the day.

But now that’s changed. Now when I heard his voice it was just a horrific reminder of what had happened and it was like a punch to the gut every time. Seriously, just when I thought I would be able to go a day without breaking down into ugly, choking sobs, I would unconsciously dial his number and I would be right back at square one again.

Because of that, I had convinced Happy that I was better off staying at home. I got distracted too easily and my headaches became too debilitating for me to be helpful at the garage. The clubhouse was no longer a safe haven because all I saw when I thought of going there was my twin’s lifeless body laying in the chapel. I actually had a panic attack thinking about going in with Happy to spend the day at the clubhouse while he dealt with club business. After that I had tried to explain my re-opening wound logic to him using the phone calls as an example along with the clubhouse. Since he had seen firsthand how hard it had been for me to spend time at my apartment after David was killed, it didn’t take long for him to understand the soundness of my logic.

That’s how I found myself sitting in my garden, trying to decide what changes I wanted to make to it. When I had first started planting seeds and plants, it had been pretty haphazard. Rita had mad suggestions of what would be best to grow in our climate and I was eager to try them all. Now I knew what thrived and what I could tend to the easiest, I wanted to take the time to organize it all properly.

Plus, I needed a project. Normally I would throw myself into my work, but that didn’t go over so well now. The garage was a no go because of I the previously listed reasons. My restaurant… well, I got mixed receptions there. If I went in without wearing a wig, everyone wanted to play twenty questions about my injuries. That’s if they didn’t feel so uncomfortable that they avoided eye contact. If I wore my wig, people seemed to be more unnerved for some reason. A couple of days after the wake, I tried going in to check on the restaurant and bar and finally had to bail when the fifth table of diners started questioning me about Opie’s death and how it happened. I kept trying to give the line that it was “an incident” at the county jail, but that was too vague for their liking. I then tried to hide at the bar, but customers who had enjoyed more than a couple alcoholic beverages were even more inquisitive (and pushy) than the patrons in the restaurant.

That’s when I finally went to my office. But there was no work for me to do there. Cody had graciously taken over the day to day operations while I was in the hospital so everything was up to date. We had a brief meeting just to touch base about everything (mostly so I could pretend I was still an active participant at my businesses) and then I finally called it a day.

After that, I realized I had less breakdowns if I stayed out of the public eye. So, staying at home to garden became the activity of choice for me. I took my phone out into the yard with me so I could listen to music and completely “Zen out” while I worked. Or the off chance I was needed for anything I would hear it ring.

“Hey, Princess. Can I help you with anything?” Happy asked as he sat down on the back stairs beside me.

I shook my head before I rested it on his shoulder answering, “Still in the planning stages.” I sat back so I could see his face and leaned in to kiss him. “Not that I’m complaining, but I wasn’t expecting you home so soon. Or… Wait! Did I space out so bad that I didn’t hear you drive up? Because I don’t remember hearing your bike.”

“No, you didn’t,” he replied with a soft snarl. I sat back to give him a questioning look that actually caused him to soften his expression. “Sorry… Didn’t mean to scar you, Princess.”

“It’s not that, Grumpy. It’s just that now I’m beyond curious to hear what happened.”

“I’ll start with the good news,” he stated as he took my hand in his to kiss the back of it a few times. “We’re partnering with Nero to go into the ‘companion business’.”

I snatched my hand back with a disgusted look on my face. “How is that good news?”

He gave me a patient look as he reclaimed my hand but this time, he just held it. “It’s a legitimate business venture that can help us to move away from our other partnerships.”

“Move away…? Wait! Does that mean no more guns and drugs?”

“Not yet. But it’s getting us on the right track.”

I leaned in to place a soft kiss on his lips. “I’m sorry. You’re right, that is extremely good news. Alright, please tell me the bad news isn’t THAT bad.”

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Not everyone is excited about our shift in focus.”

“Shit. Who…?” Then a thought dawned on me. “Clay… He’s the one pushing to stick with what you know, right?”

That seemed to surprise him. I hate that I did it, but I laughed at the look on his face. To apologize for that faux pas, I kissed him again. “Grumpy, don’t look so shocked. From what Opie told me, getting out of coke smuggling is part of the reason Clay shot Dad and knocked me out.”

“Opie told you that?”

I bit my lip as tears welled up in my eyes. “We… He didn’t have a lot of secrets from me. Especially if it could hurt our family. After Donna, he became more open about club business. He was worried about… well something bad happening… just like it did.”

Happy leaned forward to hug me sighing out, “Princess…”

“Don’t,” I interrupted. “I know why you’re worried about me knowing too much. It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me as much as he did.”

“It’s not that. I’m sorry that talking about this has brought tears to your eyes.”

“Oh that,” I tried to reply dismissively as I let him pull me into another hug. “Nothing for you to apologize for. I still tear up when I think about Donna sometimes, so I’m sure the same thing will happen with Dad and Opie for a while. Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

We then shifted in our seats until I was sitting in his lap. This was the best part about being with him, we could just sit and snuggle in silence without it feeling strained or uncomfortable. It was rare that I sought the solitude of silence, but for now it felt like the right course of action.

After a few minutes of silence, I whispered, “Who else isn’t thrilled about the club’s new focus.”

“What?” Happy asked sounding more like he hadn’t heard me over him not understanding the question.

I sat back so I could make eye contact and said in a clearer voice, “You seemed surprised that Clay was an option, so…? Who else is trying to derail the club’s plans?”

“I wouldn’t say ‘derail’, but Galen isn’t too thrilled about our new leadership or the changes he wants to make.”

“He’s not? Did he say that or how can you tell?”

“He and Jax duked it out before he shot up our bikes.”

I stared at him for a couple of seconds trying to let that information sink in. He had said it in such a nonchalant tone that the severity of the situation didn’t quite register. As his words finally penetrated through the fog, I felt my eyes go comically wide. Before I could start to panic, Happy placed a hand on each of my cheeks to force me to look him in the eye.

“We’re all fine, Princess. Jax is a little banged up from the fist fight, but none of us got hurt.”

“But your bikes are…?”

“Scrap metal.”

“Fuck. All because Jax is President and wants to get out of scary smuggling?”

“More or less.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly saying, “I’m glad you guys walked away from the meeting today.”

“Me too.”

“So…?” I made myself comfortable again with my head on his shoulder. “If you got dropped off here, does that mean…?”

“I was thinking we could have chicken tenders and fries for dinner.”

I sat back to check if he was joking or not… because it would be REALLY cruel if he was… He gave me an expectant look that told me he was being completely earnest. Thank God! That meant he finally got the night off from club duties. And it was all because Galen had a hissy fit and shot up their bikes. Wow, I could just… EW! NO! Galen could go sit on some rusty nails. There would be NO thanking him.

But Happy? I could just kiss him, so I did. And he accepted it willingly. While we were still attached at the lips, Happy somehow managed to shift his hold on me so that he could stand up and carry me into the house. I let out a small, surprised squeak into his mouth at how easily he was able to execute that maneuver and then I wrapped my arms around his neck to try to help make it easier for him to carry me. Not that he needed it in anyway.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Our room was still pitch black when I opened my eyes. That made me wonder what had woken me up if it was still the middle o f the night. I wondered, but not all that much. I quickly rolled over to cuddle into Happy’s side, but he wasn’t there and the reason that I was aroused out of my slumber suddenly became crystal clear.

“Yeah, I’ll head out right away,” he replied quietly into his phone. “Of course… yes… yes… I’ll take care of it.”

I couldn’t hear any part of the other side of the conversation, so I sat up on the bed while I watched Happy pace. Shit. I should have known better than to think that we would actually get a night off. The universe wouldn’t allow us that much of a reprieve.

He continued to pace while he listened to whomever was on the other side of the line. He would nod his head and hum out a nose of affirmation every once in a while, looking like he was making a mental list. That’s the only reason I didn’t call out to him to let him know I was awake. I didn’t want to ruin his concentration.

When he was finished talking on the phone, he snapped it closed and then just stood there with his back facing the bed. I guess he hadn’t noticed that I was sitting up. Or maybe he had and he was trying to figure out a way to break the news to me that I would be spending the rest of the night alone.

_My poor Grumpy,_ I thought as I sat up even straighter with my back against the headboard. “Since your bike got shot up, you’re welcome to borrow mine. I know it’s kind of girly looking but it’ll get you to where you need to be.”

He jumped ever so slightly at the sound of my voice. When he turned around, he did it in a very slow, deliberate movement. I’m sure he was expecting me to be angry and have a look on my face that matched that emotion and not my tone or what I had just said. And knowing him he was probably planning out what to say to quell my anger and try to appease me.

I reached over to turn on the bedside lamp so that he could see that my facial expressions matched my tone and offer. His whole demeanor seemed to relax when he saw me and it was all I could do not to laugh. Even though he visibly relaxed, he still seemed apprehensive about approaching me, so I crawled across the bed to his side. As he turned to face me, I raised up onto my knees to lessen our height difference.

“Come here, Grumpy,” I playfully commanded as I beckoned him closer to the bed. He took a couple of steps forward which allowed me to pull him into a hug and give him a soft kiss. “Although I hate waking up alone, I understand why you have t go. And why you can’t tell me about it.”

He ran the palms of both of his hands over each side of my head, just like he used to when he was trying to tame my hair when I had the worst case of bedhead. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking, but I swallowed that question and forced myself to wait patiently. He must have noticed the effort I used because I was rewarded with a deep kiss that nearly took my breath away.

While I was swooning, he hugged out a laugh then replied, “Thanks for the offer but the Prospects should have dropped off my replacement bike by now. Plus, you might need to ride it.”

“Ride…? What? Why?”

He used the index and middle fingers of his right hand to try to smooth out my now furrowed brow. “I have to go meet Jax but you might want to head to the hospital.” He quickly moved his hand down to my mouth to keep me from speaking the new thoughts that had popped into my head. “There was another home invasion… at the Roosevelts. I know you’ve become friendly with Rita and Eli, so I volunteered you to check in with them.”

“Home…? Who got hurt?”

“Rita. She tried to fight the three men off and was shot.”

“SHOT!? Do you know how badly hurt he is?”

He shook his head and kissed my forehead to try to calm me down. “No, that’s why I was hoping you could check on her.”

“Alright. I mean… Yes, of course I will. Shit. Unser, no Rita… those assholes have some balls.”

“That’s one way to describe it. So, you’ll go to the hospital while I go meet with Jax.”

I frowned at that comment replying, “That’s about it, but… why do you have to have a meeting in the middle of the night.”

“It isn’t the middle of the night, Princess. The black out curtains are just doing their job.”

I felt my cheeks heat up under an embarrassed blush as I said, “Oh.”

He kissed me then hugged me against his naked chest. “Why don’t you shower while I make us something quick to eat.”

Before he could step away, I trapped him in a circle of my arms. He let out a soft noise of aggravation so I kissed him until I felt him relax in my arms. “I wish you were coming with me to wash my back.”

“Andie…” He started in a warning tone.

“Hey! I know why you can’t… I just wanted you to know I appreciate you…” I reached down to cup his naked butt cheeks and gave them a squeeze. “Every… last… inch… of you.”

“Andie…” He whispered as he leaned in to kiss me.

Now that was more like it. I moved my hands up his back and hooked them under his armpits with a hand on each shoulder. As I opened my legs to encircle his waist, he moved his hands to my knees and pressed them down on the mattress to keep them closed.

“Andie… We can’t…”

I almost started to pout at him, but the look on his face told me that he was not in a humorous mood. I immediately dropped my hands from his shoulders and held them up in a show of surrender. He remained close to the bed and actually moved in to place a soft, grateful kiss on my lips.

“You go shower,” he ordered softly against my lips.

He then moved away from the bed to his dresser. I watched as he pulled out some clothes to put on. Now I could feel myself pouting, so I forced myself to move off the bed. I ended up beside Happy so that I could follow his lead and retrieve my own clothes. While we both pulled open drawers, I could tell he was pointedly not looking over at me. I guess I couldn’t blame him because standing next to him, completely naked, prove to be a bit of a struggle for me not to entice him back into bed.

I turned to make a smartass comment, but he swiftly took a large step away from me. Oaky that was… not usual.

“Andie… Please…?”

I gelt myself scowl in confusion as I asked, “What? I wasn’t doing anything. I swear.”

“I know it isn’t intentional… But you standing so close is….”

He trailed off there but I was able to piece together what he was trying to say. How could I not since it was almost exactly what I had been thinking too? But if he was having that hard of a time not giving into temptation then maybe… I should hurry the fuck up and get into the damned shower.

I abandoned the thought of finding an outfit. Instead, I practically ran t the bedroom door and pulled my robe off the hook on the back of it. As I slipped through the door, I could hear Happy laughing quietly to himself… Too bad it wasn’t one of those days where that was a good omen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I stopped by my restaurant on my way to the hospital. When I got behind the wheel of my Yukon, a brilliant thought came to me, picking up food for Eli. I knew how horrible cafeteria food at the hospital could be, plus if he was anything like me, he would be so focused on Rita that he would forget to take care of himself. Another bonus was that he would be less likely to dismiss me when he saw that I came bearing gifts.

When I found him, he was in a small waiting area for friends and family. I was all too familiar with it, but the last couple of times I had sat there I had the guys with me. Alright, more importantly, I had OPIE at my side.

_DON’T!_ I mentally scolded myself. _Don’t think about that now. Focus on Eli and Rita. No one but Eli and Rita exist right now._

I continued my approach as I silently coached myself to keep my thoughts on the task at hand. Eli didn’t notice me at all so I slipped onto a chair to his right and quietly asked, “Have you eaten since you got here, Eli?”

He kept his face in his hands as he shook his head. Since he had made no moves to sit up straighter or to look at me, I figured that was the only response I was going to get. Not that it bothered me at all. I know I wouldn’t be very social if roles were reversed.

Not that I let that deter me at all. “You should eat something to help you keep…”

“Look…” He interrupted in a stern, don’t even try to fight with me, tone. “I’m not going down to the cafeteria. Not until I hear something other than she’s in surgery from the doctors.”

“I get that,” I replied meekly. He finally raised his head to look at me, probably to yell at me a bit more. But for some reason he remained silent. I raised one of the bags of food I was carrying in one hand and a drink carrier in the other explaining, “That’s why I stopped by my restaurant to pick something up for you. I wasn’t sure what you’d be hungry for, so I brought you some choices.”

Eli stared at me for a few silent breaths. I could tell when the two other bags of food hit his eye-line because his eyes widened slightly. He started to smile softly as he shook his head then said, “Andie, that’s… very sweet. But you didn’t have to do that.”

“I know, but… well… I also know there’s nothing I can say that will ease your pain, so I figured I’d at least keep you fed. And I promise there’s more than just doughnuts in here.”

I forced him to take the first bag and he reluctantly looked inside it. I then continued saying, “The coffee here is actually pretty decent, so this is orange and apple juice and an iced tea.”

“Andie… This is… Thank you for your thoughtfulness.”

“You’re welcome. So? Have they given you any updates?”

He nodded and suddenly his blood shot eyes turned from sad to devastated. “She’s still in surgery, but they aren’t hopeful that our baby will survive.”

“Babe…? Oh, good Lord, Eli, I had no idea that you two… I’m so sorry.” I paused as I felt my cheeks heat up. Isn’t that exactly what I hated hearing people say? Yeah, but it didn’t make it any less true for this situation. “I really am even though I know everyone is saying shit like that to you. Is…? Can I do anything for you?”

He pulled out one of the muffins from the bag as he shook his head. “There really isn’t anything any of us can do. But this… This I do appreciate.”

“Okay… and you’re welcome.” I stood up and stared down at him. I really wanted to give him a hug but I wasn’t sure if it would be well received. Instead, I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and said, “If there’s anything you need or anything I can do, please don’t hesitate to call. My staff knows that any orders you call in are to go on my tab. The menu is in one of the bags, just call and they’ll deliver it wherever you are.”

“Andie that’s…”

“The least I can do,” I interrupted. “I meant it; you need to keep up your strength.”

“Thanks.” He stared down at the muffin and picked at the paper cup absentmindedly. I guess that mean I had lost him to his thoughts. I started to back away but stopped when I heard him call out, “Wait! There is something you can do.”

I perked up slightly saying, “Name it.”

He turned his face up so that he could stare me down. Gone was the sadness and devastation, now all I could see was anger and rage. I knew it wasn’t directly at me necessarily, but the circumstances that put that look in Eli’s eyes made me sick to my stomach. It was bringing up all of the emotions I felt when Donna and David were murdered. Senseless acts of violence that hurt innocent people who cause no undo harm in the world. Eli and Rita really didn’t’ deserve this at all.

“you give your president a warning. I’m going to find whoever did this to my wife and unborn child. And when I do, there WILL be hell to pay. The damage I did to the clubhouse when I first moved here will be like an amusement park ride compared to the pain that will rain on the club if I find out they had anything to do with this.”

“Eli…”

“No, Andie. You said you would do anything, so that’s what I want you to do.”

“And I will, I swear. But what I was going to say is that I don’t think SAMCRO has anything to do with this…” I held up my hand to keep him from interrupting me again. “BUT if they did and I find out Jax and Happy have been lying to me, I’ll be right at your side while you take them down. I promise you that.”


	22. I know the rules of the game

I Know The Rules Of The Game

While I was standing in the kitchen stuffing peeled and blanched tomatoes into mason jars, I heard a knock at the door. Fuck, I was really starting to HATE that sound. Even if I wasn’t standing in my kitchen with the flesh of, I don’t even know how many pounds of tomatoes on my hands, I would be annoyed by it. And if I was being honest, a little bit terrified. Nothing good came after someone was persistently knocking on our door. At least not lately.

_Please don’t be Eli… Please don’t be Eli…_ I chanted in my head. As I walked towards the door, I wiped some of the grime off my hands onto my apron. When I looked down I almost startled laughing. The carnage on my apron made it look more like I had been in a butcher’s shop than a gardener in their kitchen. That wouldn’t be much fun to try to explain to Eli or his brothers in blue. _PLEASE don’t be Eli…_

While I was walking through the living room, I finally called out, “Who’s there?”

“Miss Andie, it’s…” He really didn’t have to say anything else because there was really only one person in my life who called me ‘Miss Andie’. “It’s Phil.”

I unlocked the door and started to pull it open right away. Poor Phil. It never ceased to amaze me how timid and vulnerable the big guy could look when he was in my presence. You would think that nothing could scare or intimidate him because someone his size should be the one doing all of the intimidating. And yet more often than not, like right now, he looked like a cornered mouse waiting for the cat’s claws to slice through his tender flesh.

I was just about to ask him why he looked like I was going to cut off his balls when I was interrupted by my phone ringing. Phil opened his mouth to greet me, but I cut him off by raising a hand to silence him. He watched as I pulled my cell out of one of the pockets on my apron and I swear he started to pale when he saw me read the name on the call display. THAT had me seeing red because now I had some idea about why the new Brother had been sent to ‘visit’ me.

“What happened now?” I said into my phone instead of my usual greeting of ‘Hello’ or ‘Hey Grumpy’ while I glared at Phil.

“Greg and Go Go are dead and we don’t know where Frankie Diamonds is right now,” Happy answered in a flat monotone.

“What?” I cried out as I stumbled back a couple of steps. Phil quickly caught my arm to help lead me to the couch so that I could focus on my conversation on the phone. “How…? Who…?”

Happy let out a soft sigh then replied in a much more caring tone, “The Nomads were behind the home invasions. Greg and Go Go tried to go after Unser but he put them down. Frankie’s still MIA, so…”

“You sent Phil here to watch out for me. Thanks, Grumpy.”

You could almost hear the smile on his face when he replied, “I meant to call sooner, but…”

“But you’ve been trying to get info on Frankie and dealing with a lot of shit… I get it. Has…? Has anyone told Eli?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been calling around about Frankie so I haven’t heard anything about that. But I wouldn’t be surprised if Unser hasn’t called him yet.”

“Right… Right. SHIT! Is the Chief okay?”

“Gemma’s checking on him but sounds like he took care of the Nomads before they could do anymore damage to him.”

“Right. Of course. Fuck… That means they…?”

“Yes,” he interrupted so I didn’t have to actually ask if they had been the ones that shot Rita.

“And you guys really didn’t know?”

“No. At least I had no idea. I can’t speak for anyone else or their suspicions. But Princess, I…”

“Right. Of course. Phil’s here, so don’t worry about me. Just go find Frankie.”

“That’s the plan.”

I hung up my phone and put it back in my pocket. Phil was seated at the opposite end of the couch from me, looking like he was trying to be as small as possible. Poor Phil. I know I can be a nightmare sometimes and everyone seemed to tiptoe around me a lot more since I was assaulted. I guess I had been a bit… A LOT more short tempered with everyone since my head injury.

Not to mention grieving the deaths of my father and brother. Everyone kept saying they didn’t blame me, but I really was trying to keep from misdirecting my wrath on the wrong person.

“So, Phil?” I finally asked after a couple of uncomfortable minutes of silence.

He perked up slightly in his spot but he still looked weary when he answered, “Yes, Miss Andie?”

_Poor Phil,_ I thought before I stood up and answered, “Have you ever canned tomatoes before?”

He shook his head replying, “No, I haven’t.”

“Me either before today. But it’s actually pretty easy. Follow me.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Having another pair of hands definitely made the process a heck of a lot easier. Plus, Phil’s knife skills were pretty impressive. He even went out to the garden to pick more tomatoes so that we could make sure all of the jars were filled to the brim. He also came in handy when it came to storing the canned goods because he could carry more mason jars than I could. Not to mention that he could line them up on the top shelf without using a ladder.

Damn, I was really going to have to thank Happy when he got home for sending Phil my way. If I had been finishing it all on my own, I would still be stuffing mason jars. But now they were all filled, sealed and lined up in neat rows in the pantry.

While I started dinner for us, Phil was packing a box of sealed mason jars for me to take to my restaurant. Since starting my garden, I had been eager to start bringing in more home grown produce because people seemed to really love to eat locally grown produce. Not that fresh fruits and vegetables were hard to source in California but growing my own definitely helped my profit margins to look much healthier.

“The box is packed and I put it in the back of your Yukon. Is there anything else I can do for you, Miss Andie?”

I didn’t take my eyes off the sauce I was stirring garlic and oregano into it as I answered, “In the pantry there’s a wooden crate of wine. Could you pick out a bottle of red to open, please?”

“Sure thing.”

I kept my full attention on building my homemade pasta sauce at the stove, so I most definitely jumped and let out a noise of surprise when I felt two hands encircle my waist. What the hell was Phil thinking? He should know better than to sneak up behind me like that.

I was just about to admonish him when I felt a pair of lips press against my pulse point on the underside of my right jaw. I didn’t have to smell his aftershave or hear his voice to know who was standing behind me now.

“Something smells delicious, Princess.”

“Thank you. Dinner should be ready in a few minutes. Why don’t you go wash up?”

“Alright. Do you want me to pull out a bottle of merlot?”

“That’s…”

I was quickly silenced by Phil calling out, “I have one here, Sir.” Happy turned around to look at him, but Phil didn’t pay anymore attention to his Brother. Instead, he carried the now opened bottle of wine to my side and placed it on the counter. “Here you go, Miss Andie. I… uhh… I should get going now that Happy’s here and all.”

“Go? But dinner’s almost ready. Are you sure you don’t want to stay for something to eat?”

Phil’s eyes moved to focus on something… no SOMEONE who was now standing behind me as he answered, “That’s a really tempting offer but I should get going. There’s… I have some work I have to get done at the garage.”

“Oh… Okay. Are you sure you don’t want to take some with you? I could whip you up a to-go dish once the pasta’s finished cooking.”

“Uh…” He seemed to give that proposal some serious thought but then he quickly answered, “Maybe next time, Miss Andie. Have a good night.”

“Alright. Good night. Thanks for hanging out with me.” I couldn’t hear if he replied or not. I waited until I heard the front door close before I turned to glare at Happy saying, “He did you a HUGE favor and was a really big help, dinner is the least we could do as a thank you.”

“Except that it wasn’t a favor…”

“Happy!” I cut in. “He isn’t a Prospect anymore. He’s fully patched in now and gets to vote on club business, so it was a favor.”

“No. Now that he’s a member, he’s part of the family. Family takes care of each other without needing or expecting a reward. He was doing his duty as a Brother, so we don’t have to do or give him anything as a thank you.”

“Fine,” I replied with a dejected sigh. “But he was a HUGE help with the canning so I wanted to thank him for that.”

“Okay. Did you want me to go get him? You can just call me when you’re finished your candlelight dinner.”

“Grumpy! It would have just been dinner, no candlelight.”

“Alright. But offer still stands. If you’d rather, I could go get him.”

I stared at him for a couple of breaths because I honestly couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Was Happy really jealous of Phil? I thought I had made it clear that he was like a brother to me, like Jax and Opie, nothing more. I thought we were on the same page about that but… was I wrong?

“No rather, Grumpy,” I finally replied. I stepped forward and crowded Happy’s personal space continuing, “I’d rather be having chicken tenders and fries with you in bed, but I didn’t see the harm in sharing a meal with your new Brother.”

“We could have chicken tenders if you really want that.”

“What?” Now I stared at him in a stunned silence because I honestly didn’t know what to say. I figured that his was just a quick pit stop for Happy before my next babysitter arrived. So? Did that mean he was actually home for the night? Only one way to find out. “Wait! Does that mean you aren’t just here between the changing of the guards?”

Happy simply shook his head while he picked up a spoon to stir the pasta in the pot. “You…? You have the night off?”

He nodded again, but this time he said, “Jax and Tara are doing a weekend retreat at the cabin so he told us to have fun tonight and we’ll meet tomorrow to talk strategy.”

“What about Frankie Diamonds?”

“Nothing we can do until we get word that he’s crawled out from under his rock.”

“Seriously? I get you all to myself?”

“Yes, Princess, you do. So, let’s eat dinner and fuel up.”

I didn’t say anything else. No, I just surged forward and placed a fairly painful kiss on Happy’s lips. I didn’t mean to almost draw blood, but I couldn’t help that my excitement got the better of me. I felt like a lifetime since we had the promise of more than just a couple of hours alone together and I wasn’t afraid to show him how much I missed him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Princess,” Happy quietly instructed as he stilled my hands. “Those can wait until the morning.”

My eyes followed his hands as he took the plate I was holding and let it fall into the soapy dishwater. He then picked up my right hand to guide it up to his lips where he placed a few soft embraces against my knuckles.

But… But you hate having a mess,” I finally said in a faraway, almost dazed voice.

“Tonight, we leave it so we can have more time together,” he countered with a playful glint in his eyes.

He started taking a few steps backwards while he spoke. I watched him and was forced to take a couple of steps forward if I wanted to maintain physical contact with him. He could see that I was having some difficulties processing everything, but all it seemed to do was make him want to laugh.

As we made our way towards the bedroom, our bedroom, our lips quickly found their way to each other’s. I don’t know if I sped up my pace to kiss him or if he stopped and waited for me to close enough to lay claim to my lips. All I knew was that I was so lost in the sensation of his lips against mine that I didn’t pay attention to anything else. I barely felt him work my yoga pants off my legs, but I did let out a soft noise of protest when he detached his lips from mine so that he could pull my t-shirt and then his own over our heads.

He huffed out a laugh at my reaction, so I silenced him with my own hot embrace. I felt another huffed chuckle against my lips, but I swallowed any sound that he might have made. Not that either of us were getting enough air in our lungs to vocalize any other thoughts or emotions.

I worked at peeling my bra and panties off as he moved his hands to pull off his jeans and boxers. Our feet stopped moving when we started stripping out of our clothes so we were now standing in the living room kissing and getting naked.

When he felt me press my naked chest against his torso, he took control once again. He moved his right arm under my buttocks so that he could easily pick me up off the floor. I would never stop being amazed by Happy’s strength. There were times that I felt like a ragdoll in his arms because he never seemed to strain himself at all when he lifted me up into his arms.

Once my legs were wrapped around his waist, my focus remained solely on keeping pace with his lips. I should have been able to dominate our embraces by now, but I have to admit that it really turned me on when Happy took complete control. He was an expert in manipulating my body any which way to bring us to our climaxes. He knew he was my king and I was willing to follow any order he gave, but he was smart enough not to do that. Sure, I COULD follow orders, but at the same time I resented anyone who thought they were so superior that hey could get away with doing that to me.

My lips only slowed down when I felt Happy sit down. I had expected him to carry me to the bed which would have resulted in him laying me down and blanketing my body with his own. But now he was sitting down. And so soon? What was happening?

My lips nearly came to a complete halt as my confusion mounted. Happy noticed right away and pulled back so that he could see my face. I knew I was scowling and it deepened when Happy huffed out a laugh at whatever expression was on my face.

“The bedroom’s too far. I want to be with you now.”

Now that made me smile and huff out a laugh as I eased myself up onto on my knees. He watched with a searing heat in his eyes as I gripped him tightly in my left hand so that I could position him to mount him.

I moved my lips to his as I lowered myself onto his length as I quietly praised, “I like the way you think Grumpy.”

“Good to hear.”

He wrapped an arm around my waist while his other hand moved to the spot between my shoulder blades. He rubbed soft circles over my tattoo while he helped to keep me anchored as he thrust his hips up off the couch cushions. As always, we found our rhythm quickly and in no time, I felt the most exquisite pressure building in my lower abdomen. Happy’s lips moved to my neck while I let out a wordless, breathless scream when my orgasm overtook me.

His pace slowed down so that he could prolong my pleasure. My forehead fell to his shoulder while he worked himself in and out of me at a slow, steady pace. I tried to kiss his should and neck, but that took too much energy. Energy that was seeping out of my body with every stroke and deep thrust from Happy.

He continued the calm, steady pace until he felt my walls start to flutter around him again. He ceased all movement once he was deep within me as I let out another silent scream against the side of his neck. He stroked the back of my head when he felt my graze against his flesh. I took his silent direction and pressed my pearly whites deeper into his skin. I felt him shudder slightly when I finally started to break through his skin. Happy enjoyed a little pain with his pleasure and I was trying my best to accommodate him. I wasn’t comfortable with everything Happy wanted me to do to him, well at least not the amount of damage he wished I would inflict on his body, but I was trying my best to push my limits. So far, this had been our happy medium.

I tried to hold his flesh between my teeth but I honestly didn’t have the energy to continue. It was all I could do to keep my head from falling to his shoulder. He seemed to notice my efforts because he tapped the spot between my shoulder blades to let me know that I could pull back. That I could let my head fall to his shoulder like I really wanted to do.

His hand that had tapped my back was not stroking it lovingly. I pressed a soft kiss to the spot where my teeth marks were on prominent display on the side of his neck.

“That… was… amazing. But you… you didn’t finish.”

“That’s because we’re just getting started.”

I didn’t get a chance to question him before he hugged me into his chest and stood up off the couch. I tried to tighten my hold on his torso to try to make it easier for him to carry me. But he didn’t need my help. He was strong enough that he could have just tossed me over his shoulder to take me to bed. Actually, thinking of him doing just that and overpowering me to have his way with me excited me to no end. My heartbeat quickened at the mental images of him taking me. It even gave me enough to lift my head off his shoulder to claim his lips while he carried me to our room.

While I practically attacked his lips, Happy lowered me to the mattress. I felt my legs hanging over the foot of the bed while Happy kissed his way down my torso. When he made it to my waist, he gently nipped my right hipbone a couple of times with the threat of biting it to mark my skin without actually doing it. My hands fell to the back of his head as he moved it to give my left hipbone the same treatment before he backed off my body completely.

I gazed up at him while he just stared at me laying boneless on our bed. God, he was an amazing lover. He could cause my body to tighten in excitement with only the hungry look in his eyes. And I was more than willing to let him devour me wholly and completely.

Somehow my heart started to beat impossibly faster while we stared at each other. Fuck, how this man could affect me. And what I wouldn’t do to make him feel as consumed as he made me feel.

I pushed myself up off the bed with every intention of turning myself over to get up on all fours. I froze in my spot when I felt Happy grip my shoulders tightly. I know I gave him a perplexed, almost scared look but he didn’t say anything to ease my mind. Instead, he just eased me down again and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

“Happy?” I called out when he stood up again because I thought he was going to walk away from the bed.

He shushed me into silence before he gripped my waist tightly. All I could do was watch him as he pulled my body to the edge of the bed saying, “Just lay back and enjoy, Princess.”

I almost huffed out a laugh, but it was silenced by him reentering my body. I gripped the edge of the mattress to try to anchor myself because I could feel my torso moving up the mattress with every forward thrust. His strokes were deep and hard, so he had to pull me down by my waist sot that he could set his desired pace. Since there wasn’t much else for me to do, I tried to just relax in my spot so that he could use my body to reach his own climax.

As his thrusts quickened, they got deeper and deeper. I hadn’t expected to have another orgasm, but as I listed to his excited grunts and felt his bruising grip on my waist, I felt another one building. He must have been able to tell because he huffed out a sound that could sound like a laugh.

He continued his punishing thrusts until he pushed me over the edge again. As my body contracted around him, he suddenly paused. I watched as he closed his eyes and savored the feeling of my climax working its way through my body.

Just as I started to find completion, Happy’s eyes snapped open. A satisfied smirk spread across his lips as he pulled my hips down until it felt like he was going to pull me all the way off the bed. Once my buttocks was hanging over the edge of the mattress, he thrust forward on last time and spilled his completion into my awaiting body.

His whole body shook as his climax started to come to an end. I closed my eyes and waited with open arms for Happy to collapse on me. He let out a soft gasp and released my hips from his vise like grip. I opened my eyes to check on what he was doing because I hadn’t felt his welcomed weight on my chest.

He smiled down at me, but before either of us could say anything, he disappeared from my view. It almost looked like someone had swept his legs out from under him because he fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes being dumped.

I tried to sit up as I shrieked out, “HAPPY!” I couldn’t find the strength to push myself into a seated position, so I just rolled over until I fell off the bed while I continued to call out, “Happy? Happy!? Are you okay?”

He chuckled as he pulled me into his lap. He was now seated with his back against the foot of the bed. Once he had me in his lap, he gave me a couple of lazy kisses on my lips.

“I’m better than good, Princess.”


	23. For every sunset the light has to fade

For Every Sunset The Light Has To Fade

I let out an unhappy groan as I rolled over and cuddled into Happy’s side in an effort to try to fall back asleep. He hugged me into his side and I thought we were going to ignore the shrill screams of the phone to continue sleeping. That was until I felt him ease me off his chest so that he could slip out of bed.

I let out another groan before quietly calling out, “Grumpy? Who’s calling?”

“I won’t know until I answer the phone, Princess.”

I rolled over again but I knew there was no chance that I was going back to sleep. After I opened my eyes and saw the time, I growled and punch my pillow. It was early enough in the night that a phone call on the house phone didn’t necessarily mean something bad had happened. But Happy was supposed to have the night off so I forced myself out of bed to find out what shit had hit the fan his time.

I grabbed my robe off the back of the door as I exited the bedroom. Happy was in the living room on the couch talking quietly to someone. When he came into view, I had to stifle a gasp because he was sitting there, deep in conversation, completely naked. I assumed that he would have pulled on his boxers at the very least.

“Yes, of course I can head there right away. Are you sure you don’t…? Okay. Yes, I’ll go there right now. Of course. Yes, absolutely.”

He put the phone on the cradle and then just sat there motionless. I sat down on the couch beside him and wrapped myself around his left arm. He seemed to tense in my embrace, so I shifted my hold on him so that I was hugging his whole torso.

“Who’s dead?” I asked just over a whisper as I nuzzled my cheek against his shoulder.

“Nobody.”

“What? Then…? Umm… Where do you have to go?”

“To the cabin.”

“But I thought you said…”

“Jax and Chibs aren’t dead, but it isn’t for lack of trying.”

Now I went rigid against him. “But who…? How…? What happened?”

He eased himself out of my hold so that he could kiss me into silence. I felt myself relax ever so slightly with every second that our lips touched. He must have noticed it because he kept his hands on my cheeks as he leaned back and away from my lips.

“It was a botched drive by. The one they got died before they could interrogate him. I’m going to meet Chibs to see if I can help figure out who they are or who hired them.”

“But Chibs and Jax…? Did they get hurt at all?”

“Hurt? Yes. But they weren’t injured.”

“That’s… that’s good. But… uhh… what can I do to help?”

He smiled then answered, “You can head back to bed. There’s no sense in you missing out on sleep. And you need it to heal. Okay, Princess?”

“Okay. Are…? Are you sure I’ll be safe here? Should…? Should I go to the clubhouse instead?”

He smiled brightly then kissed me deeply. “I would feel much better if you did, but only if you want to go.”

“Of course, I will. I want you to focus on finding whoever tried to hurt our family. I don’t want you worrying about me.”

“I always worry about you. But knowing you’re safe at the clubhouse will help me to keep my focus.”

“Alright, so we’ll get dressed and I’ll head to the clubhouse while you head to the cabin.”

“Andie…” He pulled my face forward to kiss me again. I chuckled into the kiss because of how relieved he sounded. After he released my lips again, he rested his forehead against mine and let out a sigh. “Thank you for not fighting me on this.”

“You don’t have to sound so surprised, I don’t always…”

He started to laugh, but we were both cut off by the phone ringing again. Fuck. Now what? The look on Happy’s face as he reached over to answer it told me he was thinking the same thing.

“What?” He barked out into the receiver. I stifled an ill-timed laugh into his shoulder. “Shit. Are they okay? What about the little one? Okay… Yeah… See you there.”

Before he had the phone back on the cradle, I was asking, “What little one? Who’s the little one? What happened? Who got hurt? Who was that on the phone? Happy! Why aren’t you answering me?”

Everything came out as one long, run-on sentence, so I was out of breath at the end of it. While I panted in a couple of breaths while Happy shook his head.

“Princess, I’m happy to answer all of your questions if you would let me get a word in.” I frowned but he placed to fingers on my lips to keep me silent. “There’s been a change of plans. I’m heading to the hospital because Gemma was in an accident with Jax’s boys. From what Juice was told, little Thomas is fine but Abel and Gemma are harder to get updates about because he isn’t immediate family.”

“Gemma and the boys…? You don’t…? Could it be the same people that went after Jax?”

“I don’t know. Hopefully we can get more answers when we get to the hospital.”

“We? You want me to go with you?”

“Of course, I do. I figured you’d want to be there. You do, don’t you?”

“Yes, yes I do. Let’s get dressed.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It took us a little while to find everyone. Every time we came here to visit someone at the hospital it amazed me how difficult it was for us to get to where we needed to be. We had had to come to the hospital more times than I could count on one hand, but every visit felt like the blind leading the blind.

Then we met up with Juice and Phil and I almost let out an ill-timed laugh. Don’t get me wrong, they were both sweet. But sweet only got you so far in the MC. I had learned that at a young age and worked hard at cultivating my ‘tough guy’ persona so that I could survive before I left town. I think that’s why I had become friends with Phil. I wanted to help him avoid some of the mistakes I made or saw others fall victim to in the past. I was hoping to help him develop a hard shell before he got hurt or worse.

That’s if luck was on our side.

While the four of us road up in an elevator together I suddenly turned to hug Phil then Juice. They both looked completely stunned at that action so I finally allowed myself to chuckle softly. I kissed Juice’s cheek and then turned to Happy to kiss him on the lips.

“I’m so relieved everyone is whole,” I said as I tucked myself under Happy’s arm.

He kissed my head but it was Juice who replied, “Us too.”

“You said it, Miss Andie.”

I smile at Phil as Juice gave us both a questioning look. “Why don’t you bitch at him about using formalities like that?”

I glared at Juice but felt my facial expression soften when my gaze landed on Phil. I smiled then answered, “The big guy and I have reached an understanding. It’s our compromise, right Biggy?”

“Yeah, but…?”

The doors opened before Juice could finish that question. Instead of hearing it, the five of us marched down the hall to find the rest of the club. (We met Chucky at the elevator and he silently fell into step with us.)

When Chibs, Tig and Bobby came into view, I hurried my steps towards them. Alright, I nearly sprinted over to them so I could hug each of them.

First, I hugged Bobby then moved to where Chibs was standing. While I hugged him, I had the uncontrollable urge to cry. He heard me sniffle in a breath because he kissed the side of my head and then quietly said, “We’re alright, Luv. Just a few scratches, nothing serious.”

“I know,” I replied with a sob. “I know… But still… A drive-by? What the fuck is that all about?”

“We’ll find out. I promise, Luv.”

I didn’t say anything to that because I knew they would do their best to get to the bottom of it, but he couldn’t promise they would succeed. I didn’t want to hear empty promises right now. But in the next breath, I didn’t want to get into an argument either so I just let it slide.

Last but not least, I hugged Tig. Yeah, I’d pretty much decided I would forgive him for what he had done to my family. In my mind he was too loyal and it was Clay who was the real villain. Tig wouldn’t hurt anyone, especially a woman, without being injured by them first unless it was an order Clay had given the orders. Tig had followed them like an obedient soldier. It was a misguided loyalty that he was finally starting to question.

I hugged him tightly and he returned the gesture with the same ferocity. When I tried to step out of his embrace, he tightened his hold on me. I nearly started to panic because he hadn’t said a word as his hold got uncomfortably tight. Luckily, my eyes found Happy and his reassuring smile help to calm me down while Tig half-carried me over to his chair. He sat down and then helped me to settle on his lap.

After the other four arrived at the waiting area, Bobby stood up again saying, “Alright. Abel’s heartbeat went irregular. They gotta do a thing to reverse it.”

“Oh, shit man,” Juiced sighed out in a chagrinned tone.

Chucky took a step forward asking, “What about the baby?”

“Tommy Boy…” Chibs smiled softly and shook his head. “He’s golden. He didn’t get a scratch.”

“Gemma… She’s banged up,” Tig offered knowing that would be the next question one of us would ask.

“What about you guys?” Phil asked Chibs.

“We’re fine,” Chibs answered in a one that made it sound like that was the end of that discussion.

“Do we know who the shooter is?” Happy asked in an effort to get everyone back on topic.

Tig’s hold had slackened around me until Happy asked that question causing him to crush me in another hug. His sudden movement took me by surprise and I let out a squeak of a noise. Honestly, it was involuntary and sounded more like he had squeezed it out of me than a conscious sound that I had uttered. I know he hadn’t meant to hurt me, even by accident because it felt like he had forgotten that he was holding me.

In fact, by the look on the guys’ faces, it looked like most of them had forgotten I was there. Great, now they were all going to be more guarded while they spoke because there were a few topics, like the identity of the suspect in a drive-by shooting, that were never to be discussed in front of an Old Lady.

I kissed Tig’s cheek and then started to ease myself off his lap saying, “I’ll go check n Gemma so you guys can talk.”

Tig’s arms tightened around my waist and Bobby placed a firm, comforting hand on my legs. That got me to turn my eyes up to Bobby’s face. He smiled then replied, “There’s nothing more to talk about now. At least not until some people get back to us, so you stay right where you are, Beautiful.”

Happy walked over and sat down at Tig’s right side. He kissed the back of my head and that’s when I finally felt myself relax. Yes, we were at a hospital, but for the most part we were whole. No one’s life was in danger here, but for some reason I couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in the it of my stomach.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I don’t know when it happened, but somehow, I ended up in Happy’s lap with my legs over Tig’s thighs. After I tucked my head under his chin, I fell asleep again. It was a wonderfully deep sleep where I didn’t dream at all. It also meant I didn’t notice when Tig had gotten up to walk away and meet up with Chief Unser.

“Princess,” Happy whispered into my ear to coax me awake.

I slowly opened my eyes and groaned at how bright the waiting room was right now. Well, I guess it was always bright there but I was too sleepy to deal with it.

“Five more minutes,” I whined as I tried to cuddle into him again.

Shockingly, he hugged me into his chest. Yes, I totally won this… Shit, no he was standing up. I then felt him pass me onto someone else. Don’t ask me how I knew, but it felt like I was higher off the ground so I must be in Phil’s arms now.

That’s fine. I was more than okay with snuggling against him to fall back asleep. What I hadn’t expected was that Happy had anticipated that I was going to do just that.

Happy kissed my head and said quietly against it, “Sweet dreams, Princess.” He then looked up at Phil and stated in a grave, intimidating tone, “Keep her safe.”

“Y-y-yes Sir, of course,” Phil stuttered out in reply.

_Poor Filthy._ I hugged his neck and then cracked open one of my eyes. “I’ll be fine, Grumpy.” When I heard Happy chuckle, I turned my head to look at him and stated in my own ominous tone, “YOU be safe and watch each other’s backs.”

“Always, Princess.”

We watched as Happy and Chibs met up with Jax. While they waited for the elevator, Jax turned and gave me a cheeky smile. He actually looked like he was trying not to laugh. No, it was more than that. Good, he was able to be amused by something right now. When I heard that Abel had to have surgery to fix his heart, I thought he would be a surly dick to everyone.

But there he was trying not to bust a gut. He nudged Chibs with his elbow and said something that made the Scot chuckle. That got Happy’s attention and he too started to smirk. What the hell did they…? OH!

“Phil?”

“Yes, Miss Andie?” He asked as he hoisted me in his arms so it was more comfortable to hold me.

“You need to put me down.”

“What?”

I squirmed in his arms saying, “You need to put me down before they all…” That’s when I heard Jax and Chibs start laughing… loudly. “DOWN! NOW!”

Phil complied so suddenly that he nearly dropped me to the floor. That made the guys laugh even harder. GREAT! So glad I could be their comic relief for the day.

Once I found my footing, I straightened up and gave them the one finger salute. Jax and Chibs blew me a kiss while they continued to laugh. Happy… he was staring at his phone and looked like he was ignoring us. What the hell?

Just as the doors stated to close, Happy looked up and caught my eye. At the same time, I felt my phone start to vibrate.

YOU STILL LOOK BEAUTIFUL EVEN WHEN YOU’RE FLIPPING US OFF.

I felt my cheeks heat up because I didn’t think he had witnessed that at all. Then another message came through.

I’LL KEEP THEM SAFE SO YOU CAN CUT THEIR BALLS OFF LATER.

Now it was my turn to laugh.

THANKS, GRUMPY. RIDE SAFE.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

There wasn’t much for us to do but sit around and talk in the waiting room. Chucky disappeared to get an update and check on Gemma, so that left me alone with Juice and Phil. Juice and I knew each other well enough that we could just bullshit together with ease. Phil would chime in here or there which made me smile because this actually felt comfortable.

“So, Phil?” I started with a cheeky smile. “What…?”

I lost my words when I heard voices approaching us. Okay, full disclosure? It was Clay’s voice that gave me a moment of pause. Ever since I made it home, I had been able to keep a lot of distance between him and I without making it look obvious. FUCK. I had to get out of here… NOW.

I turned towards the route to the elevator and mumbled out, “I… uhh… I’m…”

Juice caught my arm when I tripped over my own feet to keep me upright and asked, “Hey… Where are you running off to?”

“I… uhh… Since Gemma’s awake, I thought I’d go get her some flowers or something.”

“Alright. I’ll go with you.”

“Juice, I…”

“Miss Andie? Happy gave us orders that you aren’t to go anywhere alone.”

I felt my neck get hot, but I swallowed my anger. They were just following orders. Plus, the longer we argued, the more likely I’d be running into Clay soon.

“Alright, fine,” I conceded. “Let’s go.”

“Actually,” Chucky called out in a careful, cautious tone after he had returned. “I’d like to get her something too.” He shared a look with Juice and Phil then said, “She… You wouldn’t be alone if I went with you.”

“True, but…”

Juice trailed off when he saw me undo my jacket and pull the .22 I carried in my inner jacket pocket out just far enough that he could see the butt of it. “I have protection. Come on Chucky, let’s go.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The best part of taking Chucky with me was that he didn’t expect me to chat much with him. Plus, he followed my orders about as well as everyone else’s too. It took zero effort to convince him to walk down the street to a proper florist instead of just buying a bouquet at the gift shop.

I found what I was looking for quite quickly. But Chucky took a bit longer. He seemed to have an idea of what he wanted but finding it took a bit longer. I stood by the till watching him with a huge smile on my face. Sure, Chucky was weird, but he had a childlike enthusiasm to him that was so endearing. Like right now, he looked like a kid in a candy store.

“What do you think, Andie?” He asked as he showed me the arrangement he and the florist had put together.

“It’s beautiful, Chucky.”

“Do you think she’ll like it?”

“She’ll love it. Are you ready to get going?”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When we got back to the hospital, he let me go into Gemma’s room alone. He said I should have some one on one time together with her. Yeah… Chucky was fucking weird, but he was insightful as hell. He spent most of his time on the periphery and that gave him a perfect seat to watch and witness our lives. He kept quiet about it all so none of us paid much attention to what we said or did in front of him.

I’d have to keep that in min in the future for sure.”

I knocked lightly on the door as I eased it open. As soon as she saw it was me, Gemma smiled and said, “Andie! Sweetheart, it’s good to see you.”

“You too, Mom. You’re… you’re looking good.”

“That’s a lie. But you’re sweet for telling it.”

I ran my free hand over my two-inch-long hair replying, “Not really. You look much better than I did after my last run-in with a tree in a car.”

“Oh! Sweetheart…”

“I was trying to be funny,” I interrupted with a smile. “But enough about hat. I got you this to brighten up your room. Hope you heel fast.”

She took the potted plant from me as I unnecessarily explained, “It’s a Casa Blanca Lily. The florist said you can transplant it if you want or you can leave it in the pot. It’s totally up to you.”

“Baby… that’s… very thoughtful. Thank you.”

I kissed her cheek and hugged her saying, “I love you so much, Mom.”

“I love you to, Sweetheart.”

We held each other in an awkward hug until it became too uncomfortable for me to maintain. I really didn’t want to let her go, but I had to or I would be paying for it later. Plus, I wasn’t the only person who wanted to visit her, so it would be selfish of me to occupy all of her time.

After another round of ‘I love you’, I slowly made my way to her door. As soon as I got to it, the first thing I saw was Chucky. He looked antsy… well more antsy than usual and that help me to continue on without looking back.

The guys had returned and were in the waiting room by the time I got there. I bee-lined myself into Happy’s arms and took in a deep breath. Now my clinging to Gemma made more sense. Deep down I was worried the guys wouldn’t make it back I know I shouldn’t underestimate them. But we were all human and the Reaper would come for all of us… one day.

Happy felt me shudder against his chest. He hugged me tighter so it would be easier to say in my ear, “Did something happen, Princess? Are you okay?”

I nodded and took a step back to look up and answer, “Just thinking too much.”

He stroked the side of my head with an amused smirk. “Ahh… That dark imagination of yours running wild?”

“Something like that. Plus, I’m starving. Wanna grab a bit to eat?” I turned to address the whole room. I can’t ell you how relieved I was when I noticed Clay was gone again. “My treat?”

I don’t know what Happy did behind my back, but Juice and Phil quickly shook their heads. Then Juice quickly added, “Thanks anyways but you… you two enjoy some time alone together.”

I gave him a skeptic look to which Juice waggled his eyebrows. What was he playing at? I whipped around to look at Happy… Happy who was quickly schooling his face to be carefully neutral.

Huh. So, he was conspiring with them? Well… Fine by me. It meant I got to have my boyfriend to myself. Even if it was just for lunch, it was one of the best things to happen to me today.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

My restaurant was within walking distance of the hospital, so we made our way there hand in hand. It honestly felt like I was having an out of body experience because I had never done this. I had never gone out to dinner in Charming with a guy I was dating. Hell, I’d never gone out in public in San Joaquin County with any of them because it might get back to my brother or dad or… heaven forbid, the MC and Gemma.

But here we were… The picture of domestic bliss as far as any outsiders could tell. If they could hear the conversation we were having, they would probably be horrified. He was explaining that they found the second shooter and he confessed to everything. Frankie Diamonds had paid them to hill Jax. Frankie was still in hiding, so job number one was to find him.

“I’m so glad you guys didn’t get hurt.”

He pat my back as I hugged his arm replying, “Me too, Princess.”

“Hi! Welcome to… Oh! ANDIE! It’s good to see you. Did you want your usual table?”

“No,” I answered as I wrapped myself around Happy’s arm again. “I’d prefer the private booth by the kitchen.”

“Oh…? OH!” She smiled brightly then said, “Of course… Right this way.”

Happy gave me a questioning look so I quietly explained, “You can see the whole dining room, but we can easily conceal ourselves at the same time. If, God forbid, something happens, we can easily slip out the back through the kitchen.

His eyes widened slightly at the end of my explanation. Good. So, I could still surprise him once in a while. I pecked his cheek then whispered, “I like to be prepared.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We made it through ordering and our starters with no issues at all. A few of my employees made a point to stop by and say hello as they passed by. That was it. They just wanted to say they missed having me around but understood why I had been away. There were no questions about Happy nor any words of condolences.

“Why do you look so surprised?” Happy asked after Cody stepped way with our empty plates in hand.

I watched Cody step into the kitchen before I turned to look at Happy. I forced myself not to laugh but I did smile brightly as I answered, “Because I am. I expected Cody to tease us a lot more than that.”

“Him not teasing…? Does that mean something’s wrong?”

I shook my head and slid closer to him in the booth to kiss his cheek. “It means something is really right. I think his new role is helping him to mature into the man I knew he could be. He really stepped up and kept my places running smoothly while I had to step away.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“Yeah. Plus… I think your reputation preceded you and he knew to keep his smartass comments to himself.”

“You think so?”

“I hope so.”

That got a soft chuckle out of Happy. I felt myself relax against Happy’s side and he felt like he was more at ease as well. There was still a lot of work the club had to do, but it was nice we could have this time together, even if it was just a brief moment of reprieve.

Not long after our entrees were delivered, Cody was back at our table. At first, all I could do was stare at him because he looked so uneasy that I almost didn’t recognize him. Plus, he was just standing there. Why wasn’t he speaking?

“Cody? Did you need something?”

He startled out of his daze then gave me a familiar, brilliant smile. “Sorry, Boss. You have a call on your office line.”

There weren’t many people, outside of anything work related, who had that number, so I asked, “Did they say who it was?”

He shook his head. “And I didn’t recognize their voice. But they said it as an emergency. I think it might have something to do with your niece and nephew.”

“Ellie and Kenny? How…?”

“Just a gut instinct, Boss. They won’t leave a message and stressed… many times… how urgent it was to speak with you, immediately.”

“Okay.” I started to slide out of the booth but stopped when I felt Happy grab my hand. We shared a look and then I followed him out of the booth.

“I’ll… I’ll pack up your food and add it to your other order.”

“Thanks Cody.”

At the office, Happy stayed by the door like he was a guard or something. In the past that would have bothered me because I didn’t need a bodyguard or a watch dog. At least that’s what I used to think. But now I knew different. Now I would take all the protection I could get in any way, shape or form.

“Hello?” I said into the phone as I sat down behind the desk. When they started talking, I felt all of the tension in my shoulders start to disappear. “Oh… Hey… What…? What can I help you with?”

“ANDIE!” Happy called out when he saw the receiver fall out of my hand to the floor. “Princess! What’s wrong?”

I finally turned my eyes up to his face when he cupped my cheeks in both hands. “I… I… I need… I need to get home.”

“Okay. Why? What’s happened?”

“I… I uhh… I… I need to get my truck.”

“And I’ll help you do that. But you won’t be able to drive anywhere until you’re able to tell me why. Please, Andie? It won’t be safe otherwise.”

_SAFE?! HA! What does that word even mean anymore?_

“I… uhh… I need to go to Diosa and pick up Layla because she… she… she was shot.”

“She was shot? By who?”

“By… By Frankie Diamonds…” I finally felt myself come out of a fog as I added, “You’ll need to start making some more calls to find that piece of shit.”


	24. But Baby A light like yours is so glorious

But Baby A Light Like Yours Is So Glorious

“She’s still really stiff but she’s resting now. Before I picked her up, she had arranged for Mary to pick up the kids from school, so it’s just the two of us. How are you guy’s doing?”

“We’ll be heading home from Tahoe soon.”

“Does that mean you caught up with him?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re bringing him back?”

“Yes. Jax asked Quinn to help with that.”

“Quinn? WAIT! Does that mean…?”

“I’ll fill you in on all the details when we get home.”

“Oh… Right… Alright. Ride safe.”

“We will.”

I hung up the phone and sort of went boneless in my seat. Since he wouldn’t go into detail on the phone, I took that as meaning Frankie Diamonds was dead. If Happy was the one who did it, that would be all the better. Sorry, but he shot Layla because he was pissed at the club. That was beyond low and despicable. He deserved some of Happy’s creativity for his punishment on this one.

“Was that Jax?”

I turned to look at Layla over the back of the couch answering, “No, it was Happy.”

“Oh… Right… right, that makes more sense.”

She slowly made her way around the couch to sit down. It almost physically hurt to watch her move right now. She had lucked out that Frankie had shot her in meatiest part of her body. Not that she had a lot of extra meat on her bones at all. The doctor had prescribed bed rest for a couple of days, so I had been playing the role of nursemaid for her after I picked her up at Diosa.

“So…?” She asked as she tried to make herself more comfortable on the couch.

I jumped to my feet to help. She knew not to fight me on anything and just watched as I pulled the coffee table closer to the couch so that I could put a pillow on it to keep her leg elevated. That seemed to take most of the pressure off her wound and really helped her to be able to settle on the couch cushion.

After I was seated again, she gave me an expectant look but didn’t say anything else, so I answered, “They found Frankie and… well… he’ll never hurt anyone ever again.”

“Really?! That’s… uhh…”

“You can say that it’s a relief. I won’t think anything bad about you… Mostly because I feel the exact same way.”

“Okay…” She took in a deep breath then added, “Thank God he’s gone.”

“There you go. Now… How are you? How’s the leg feeling today?”

“Sore… Stiff… I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stand around at Diosa’s opening.”

“So, don’t.”

“Don’t? But… But I should be there since I’m the Manager and all.”

“I didn’t say for you to skip it. I just meant that there has to be a way to keep off your feet but still let you be present during the Grand Opening.”

“Oh… Yeah… I guess we might.”

“We’ve still got a couple of days, so don’t worry about it now. Are you hungry? I can whip something up for you.”

She shook her head then dazedly answer, “Just wanted… a… change of… scenery.”

Her answer came through a series of yawns, so I just sat back to watch her. One thing I had learned about her was that pain killers knocked her off her ass just like they did to me. Once she was out, she would sleep like a rock for at least four hours. The position she was in right now didn’t look all that comfortable, so the moment I could tell that she was completely out, I picked her up and laid her down across the couch.

Don’t ask me why I did it, but I stayed seated on the coffee table and just watched her sleep. We were out of the woods and I didn’t have to fear for her safety when I came to Frankie Diamonds, but I couldn’t help it. It was kind of like the first night I babysat for Opie and Donna after she had Ellie. It felt like if I didn’t have eyes on her while she was sleeping that it left her completely vulnerable and that something bad might happen. Since she was healing form a bullet wound, I felt like that train of thought was more than justified.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

After going out to lunch with Happy at my Grill, I realized how much I missed working there. I missed being teased about everything from my hair cut to my choice of vehicle by Cody. I missed trying out new recipes with Luis to decide on what our next signature flavor would be. Hell, I missed just bullshitting with my customers and just being ‘Andie’. I wasn’t Piney’s daughter or Opie’s sister, I was just their server and while they were at my table or bar, I was their best friend.

I always thought that going back to the SOA clubhouse was like going to a safe place, but the Bar and Grill were too. And I had built it… It was mine… along with all of my staff because I would be nowhere without all of them.

“Boss? Is…? Is everything alright?” Cody asked when he saw me in the kitchen tying on an apron.

I smiled at him then answered, “I thought I should come in and pull my weight for those pay cheques I’ve been receiving.”

“And right smack in of the lunch rush…” He hugged me so tight it almost took my breath away. “I knew you were my favorite boss for a reason, Andie.”

I leaned back and I knew I was wearing a confused scowl. Cody NEVER used my real name. He ALWAYS called me ‘Boss’ and it was usually with a teasing tone. Why was he being so earnest right now?

“Cody? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, being the boss was more fun than I thought it would be, but we’ve really missed you. This place isn’t the same without you. You… You’re the heart and soul of this place, Boss.”

“That’s sweet, Cody…”

“Sweet, nothing, Boss,” he quickly interrupted. “Our regulars, they… they’re more at ease when you’re around. A lot of them have been worried you’re going to sell this place; even thought I keep telling them you LITERALLY had brain surgery. That means we gotta give a lady some time to heal. Not to mention…”

“Then don’t mention it. And you’re right, I haven’t given any thought to selling. Not since… since… David. I just… I guess that I’ve been trying to find my own heart and soul again after… after that… those things we’re not mentioning.”

“And have you?”

I shook my head and put on a brave face answering, “I’m still trying. So? Bossman, where do you need me today?”

He rolled his eyes at my teasing but sounded completely earnest when he answered, “I would love to move Chloe behind the bar. She’s so much faster filling pints than she is running food. You can take over her station.”

“Alright, that… That sounds like a good move. You trained her to be one of our best bartenders for sure. In all honesty, I was surprised to see her here now and not working at the Bar tonight.”

“Her mom’s been sick so she needed her nights off to be with her. They… her family can only afford a part-time nurse and it’s cheaper to have them at the house during the day. Plus, she thought she might get better tips in the dining room.”

“Shit. Can…? Can I do anything to help?”

HE shook his head with a half-frown, half-smile on his face. “I already tried. Moving to day shifts is the only thing that she would let me do.”

“Yeah, that definitely sounds like Chloe. Here’s my two cents… Keep her at the bar during the day. Have her help out the hostess during down times or the hostess’ break. That should help to beef up everyone’s tips.”

“Shit… shit! I hadn’t thought of that but it’s… fuck that’s perfect.”

“You would have figured it out eventually. Oh… And Cody? I know I usually put them in the communal jar, but today…”

“They go to Chloe.”

I smile and couldn’t stop myself from hugging him. “Thank you for everything, Cody. You’ve been so amazing. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“And I swear you will never have to find out.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Cody said we were right in the middle of the lunch rush, he wasn’t joking. He had started advertising some lunch specials that blended into some incredible ‘Happy Hour’ deals, so I was literally running off my feet. I had never dreamed this place could be this busy when I opened it. Not that I was complaining… much. Okay, fine. I was bitching about how much my feet hurt, but that was it.

Once everything had died down, I retreated to the kitchen to get off my feet for a bit. During the renovations, I had designed an eating area off the kitchen solely for staff. Part of the perks of working for the Buffalo Bar and Grill was that you got a free meal during your shift. Anything form the man, so I really wanted them to have somewhere comfortable to sit and enjoy it during their break times.

I had more than earned this meal and had every intention of savoring it to the very last morsel. I swear that as the only reason that I growled at Cheyenne when she came in announcing, “Boss, there’s a group of guys in your section asking to speak with you.”

“Did you tell them I’m on my break? Someone else can serve them.”

“I did… On both counts. They’re actually settling their bill now. But he… one of them is insisting that he needs to talk to you about… uhh… your… umm… your brother.”

“My brother? You…? You mean Opie?”

She nodded and startled in her spot when I jumped to my feet. As I passed her, I begrudgingly said, “Feel free to enjoy the beef dip while it’s hot.”

“I’m so sorry, Boss. I’ll ask Luis to make you another one.”

“That’s okay. I don’t know how long it will take and I don’t want to waste any food or his time. But thank you.”

“Alright. Again… Boss… I’m…”

“So NOT your fault Cheyenne. But I appreciate the sentiment.”

When I stepped out of the kitchen, I scanned the dining room quickly. There was no one in a uniform, a generic looking ‘Fed’ suit or colors that I could see. So…? Who had info on Opie? And what could it be?”

I was just about to turn around to ask Cheyenne what my visitor looked like when someone waved from across the room to get my attention. T.O.? Why…?

As I walked towards his table, the three men he was with got up to make their way to the exit door. As they walked, they pulled on their cuts and suddenly the reason I hadn’t noticed them right away became clear. They had removed their cuts and hung them, inside out, on the back of their chairs.

“Hey, T.O. Long time, no see.”

He immediately accepted my hug replying, “You’re looking good, Andie. Especially after everything you’ve been through. Short hair definitely suits you.”

“Lucky for me since this wasn’t my choice… this time.”

“Was it another fundraiser?”

I laughed then turned so that he could see the back of my head. “No… Emergency surgery.”

“Oh… Right… RIGHT! Sorry, I forgot.”

“It’s fine. I do too sometimes. So… Cheyenne said you wanted to talk? Why don’t you follow me to my office so we can have some privacy?”

“That’d be great. Thanks.”

As we walked trough the dining area, I quietly said to him, “You guys can wear your cuts here. There’s no dress but ‘No shirt, no shoes, no service.’ Even then we just give the meal to go on my tab.”

“I… uhh… We just figured that with it being neutral ground that we weren’t allowed to show our colors.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I want everyone to be comfortable, so cuts are fine. Although, I guess that I do have another rule. No beefs playing out here. This is a restaurant, not a clubhouse, so wear your cuts if it suits you, but not to prove something to anyone.”

“That sounds like a good rule.”

“It seems to be working.” By this time, we were seated on two chairs in front of my desk. “So? You wanted to tell me something about Opie?”

“Yeah. But more than that I wanted to apologize. I had no idea about my cousin and I’m so sorry for what he did.”

“Your cousin? What are you talking about? I don’t know any of your family.”

At first, T.O. just stared at me with wide eyes, but after a couple of breaths, he looked like he understood something. “They didn’t tell you.”

“Who didn’t tell me what?”

“Jax or Chibs. They didn’t tell you about tracking down my cousin to get retribution for what happened to your brother?”

“To get…? Oh… shit… They…? Uhh… Because he…?”

T.O. nodded then quietly answered, “Yes… And honestly Andie I had no idea Randy had anything to do with it. If I did…”

“OH! T.O.! You don’t have to…” I lunged forward to hug him saying, “But I do appreciate you coming by to apologize. I know you and the Basterds had nothing to do with… what happened in Stockton. I’ll talk to Jax and make sure the MC understand that too.”

“You don’t need to do that. We… We’ve come to an understanding, so things are… are… fine between us.”

“Okay… good. Because I know that with our history together that you would never hurt my family on purpose. I don’t want this to cause a rift between the two clubs. You have been too good of friends for it to end like this.”

“And I swear it won’t. But I just wanted to make sure you and I…”

“Oh my God! Of course, we’re fine T.O. You know I would NEVER blame you for someone else’s actions.”

He hugged me again replying, “Thanks, Andie. That’s a relief to hear.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When happy got home, he found me sitting on the couch in the living room staring at nothing. I’m sure that the first thing he noticed was the two duffle bags that were on the floor by my feet. I had debated where to put them and finally decided having them anywhere else would look like I was hiding them. I wanted to make clear that I had a clear hand and was confident in my decision.

“Something you need to tell me, Andie?”

I nodded replying, “I do. Could…? Please sit down.”

He eased himself into the chair I had motioned to but he didn’t take his eyes off my bags. Okay, now I wished I hadn’t left them out on such prominent display. Maybe they were sending the wrong message.

_STAY ON POINT!_

“T.O. stopped by my restaurant today…”

“Did he hurt you?” I shook my head prompting him to worriedly ask, “Did he threaten you?”

“NO!” I answered with a firm tone but coated in a bemused chuckle. “He came by to apologize.”

“And him apologizing made you angry with me?”

“I’m not angry with you… or the club. I’m… I’m confused and annoyed.”

“Alright. Why would finding out that man who killed your brother is dead annoy and or confuse you?”

I took in a deep breath and forced myself to keep my voice as calm as possible. “I thought I knew how the MC worked and why certain decisions were made but now… now… Now I don’t feel like I understand anything at all, especially about SAMCRO. You guys called in favors and did everything in your power to find the guys that ran Jax and Chibs off the road to kill him… and now you’ve done the same thing for Opie…”

“That’s what we do when someone hurts anyone from the club.”

“I know but I guess I don’t… I don’t understand why it happens for some people but not others.”

He scowled then said, “Now I’m a little confused.”

_Fuck… fuck, fuck, fuck._ “Okay… I’ll… I’ll try to spell it out…” I took in a couple of long, slow breaths to try to keep myself from screaming at him. “Alright… The man who shot Donna still sits beside you at the table in your chapel. And… the man who shot and MURDERED my dad and did THIS to me (I pointed to the back of my head) still has a seat at that very same table. Donna was an innocent… she NEVER hurt anyone from SAMCRO and Dad… Okay not so innocent but he was… he’s ‘First Nine’… Why don’t their deaths warrant the full vengeance from the club?”

“I… I…” He actually paused to give the question some thought then answered meekly, “I don’t know.”

“And I didn’t expect that you would. But I needed to let you know what I’m feeling and thinking so that I can try to explain to you what I need to do next.”

“What you need to do?” His eyes flicked from the bags to my face and back a few times as he asked, “Are…? Are you moving out?”

“Not exactly.”

“Not exactly…”

I saw the movement of his jaw that made it look like he was clenching his teeth. When he spoke next it was a quiet, controlled voice that caused a cold shiver to run down my spine, “Then what exactly IS this?”

“I… I need to get away for a bit so I can… So, I can find my center again. I thought… fuck… Okay… Every time I think I’ve found it something knocks me off center again…” I paused to sniffle in a breath but tried to keep my voice even as I continued. “I’ve lost… I’m… I’m losing everyone that I love… Donna… Dad… David… Now Opie. They’ve all been STOLEN form me… I HAVE to get away before I start to resent this town… the club… or… or… Or you because I… I can’t… I can’t ever let that happen.”

When I paused there to stifle a sob and blow my nose, Happy turned his devasted eyes to my face as he hoarsely questioned, “Why?”

I finally made eye contact with him replying with a huge lump in my throat, “Because I LOVE you… I mean… I’m IN love with you. I’m… I really didn’t want to tell you this way, but I… I need to be honest with you. I love you so much, but… and even though I do, I can’t stay right now. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, but I can’t.”

“I… I understand,” he replied in a surprisingly reassuring tone. “How long will you be away?”

“I don’t know. Hopefully it won’t take that long.”

“Where…? Where will you go?”

“Honestly? I haven’t planned that far ahead. Maybe up North… Y’know… Check out Alaska?”

“Fair enough. So? If you love me… Does that me you don’t want to call us quits?”

“No,” I replied with a soft sob. “But I’m not the only one who is in this relationship. If you don’t want to wait it out to figure out how you feel about me and want to end it now, I’ll pack the rest of my stuff and be out of your life completely. Just say the word.”

“Figure out how I feel? I already know how I feel.” I just stared at him so he continued, “I love you, Andie. I knew it when you came to the clubhouse and asked if you could move home. When you ran into my arms… the look on your face… I knew it then.”

“You did?”

“Yes, so I don’t want you gone.”

I ran over to him and kissed him. When I tried to rehearse this conversation in my head, that most definitely was NOT one of the responses I pictured receiving.

“I love you so much, Happy.”

“I love you too, Andie.” He pulled me down to sit on his lap as he said it. I immediately snuggled into his chest and tucked myself under his chin. “So? What are the ground rules while you’re away?”

“Same as when you’re on a run. Giving or getting head isn’t cheating. As soon as lips touch anything above the waist, especially if it’s a skank's mouth, that’s cheating and we’re through.”

“Alright, fair enough. And phone calls? Am I allowed to talk to you when you’re on your vision quest?”

I let out a tear-filled chuckle then sat up to kiss him before replying, “I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself from calling you. But you don’t have to answer… I’ll understand if you don’t.”

He completely ignored my self-deprecating comment to ask, “Do you want updates? I mean about the MC. Or would that delay you from finding your center?”

“I… I don’t… Honestly, I don’t know. Ye… Yes… I think that I do. Especially so I know that you’re okay.”

“That I can do.”

We sat there for a few minutes in silence after that. I don’t know what Happy was thinking but I couldn’t get enough of hearing the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. After Kip’s wake, I never thought I would tell anyone new in my life that I loved them because it felt like it came with an automatic death warrant. And I was sick of the Reaper claiming his bounty on the people I care the most about.

But now I had said those words to Happy. Here’s hoping I hadn’t signed his death warrant and that he would meet the same fate as so many others in my life. But if he did… Well… I couldn’t bare to watch his demise… So, that was another good reason for me to take some time away. If the universe decided to stomp on my heart again, at least I wouldn’t have to be around to be an eyewitness to it.

“When will you leave?” He whispered against my head.

I rubbed some soft circles on his chest to try to sooth him as I answered, “I thought I would right after this conversation because I… I didn’t think it would end like this…” I sat up and kissed him then added, “But now that we’ve finally told each other how we feel… Please… please just make love to me Happy. Let me show you how much I love you while you show me the same.”

“Your wish is my command, Princess.”

He then kissed me deeply and picked me up to carry me to our bedroom

THE END… for now.


End file.
